Feet breath's Blog – April 2013 Archive (3)

I feel broken or getting very close to it. Not in a way like when I was 14 [bullied to the point of being suicidal]. No, this is different...By broken I mean mentally and physically. I have to accept the fact that I can't do this on my own. I'm not strong, I realize that. It takes me longer to understand things. When I was in school the other students may have got it but it would possibly take me longer to grasp. So much of my life I've been socially clumsy. I'd cause trouble even if I…

Next month on the 29th, Jesus will have saved me three years ago.

I don't know how to explain to so many people...my parents and uncles for example. I feel like I'm in some kind of box. The moment He saved me I didn't run to my parents and shout that Jesus gave me eternal life!

I can't really bring up a topic unless someone mentions about it first. That's why I haven't blurted out that Jesus gave me eternal life to my loved ones. That's how I've been like my…

 I need a miracle. I think I'm getting panic attacks. So much has been kept inside. I have like 18 years of flashbacks that has been bundled up. Things started when I was like 3...I have a few flashbacks from the age of 2 but that's not when the pain started [unless there's something I don't remember/unless I was scared mentally because the neighbor in the yellow dress yelled out her door at us].

I don't know if I've forgiven them. I don't want to hold any grudges...I want…