What is my problem?

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Comment by feet breath on August 14, 2013 at 1:09pm

Thank you Mary,Char and Amanda. I gave it to the Lord. Thank you guys for your advice and encouragement.

Comment by Seek on August 14, 2013 at 7:32am

Feet, you heal in time with God's help.  I blocked so much that most of my childhood (the first 9 years of life) is gone.  I have over the years recalled a small snippet here and there.  It has at times bothered me, not knowing anything of what happened.  But then by not having those bad memories, maybe it makes room for God to give us good memories to fill the void.  He's been healing me but I've struggled with this same issue of lost memories.  Even saw therapists who felt maybe the memory would be worse for me than having lost my memory. 

Comment by Mary O on August 14, 2013 at 7:02am

Hi Feet, God bless you!

Maybe you shouldn't remember. It doesn't do me any good to remember the incident that happened to me.  The only good thing is that I can look at it differently now during the times I remember what happened. And I'm very thankful that I survived. The fact that I can cope and be thankful is healing enough for me. I learned to swim long before I knew what had happened when I was a baby.

You may never know what it was that happened. My mom finally told me. It could have been anything from slipping under the water for 2 seconds, rolling over on a toy. I think my mom forgot about it until I had a baby of my own. She saw me give baby a pacifier and said to not do that because they are dangerous. Then she told me the story.

Something happened, but you are not that little kid anymore. You don't have to be afraid or upset. You are no longer in danger from whatever it was. If the icky thoughts come, that's what you think. Put Bible verses in your thoughts instead and move on.

Love,

Mary

Comment by feet breath on August 13, 2013 at 4:20pm

And God bless you,too.

Comment by feet breath on August 13, 2013 at 4:19pm

The thing is I understand things now as an adult that I didn't understand as a child. The "innocence" of childhood helped me not to understand.

 

Now I'm an adult. It terrifies me to think what might have happened. Whatever happened...I just want to heal. But how can I heal if my mind blocks out the traumatizing event?

Comment by Mary O on August 13, 2013 at 3:43pm

Hi Feet, God bless you!

It's hard to say what happened. Make sure you are looking at the experience from the eyes of a grown person and not a child or baby. I was afraid of swimming for a long time. I had an experience as a baby. I don't remember it happening, but I remember the sensation of terror and gasping for air. I remember a struggle. I don't know how old I was if I could even roll over. I choked on a pacifier. So when I got older, I was afraid to learn how to swim. I was afraid of showers for a while too. I did overcome that fear and learned how to swim.

Lots of people have things happen when they are little. Today I tell myself I have no reason to be afraid. That little person is still inside of me. All of these experiences make me who I am.

Denis Waitley talks about visting the child in you as an adult. Picture yourself sitting under a big tree all relaxed. And picture yourself as a child and talk to the child. It was very healing for me. Just talk all positive to the grown you and to the child you.

You're okay Feet, you're a good person and kind and loving.

Love,

Mary