Be a part of a strong community of believers with whom I can learn and grow.
Outdoors: hiking, fishing, camping; Christian theology and philosophy (or more to the point a right understanding of the truth of Christ and how that ought to trickle through to each and every aspect of my life and living); health and fitness; music; cooking and food.
I'm passionate about...
I feel like every time I find passion in my life, it is actually broken and usually by my Christian brothers and sisters; many find the intensity of passion difficult to handle. If I could be more so, I am passionate about food and healthy living; I am passionate about music; above all, I am passionate about Christ and desire to learn more how I can be an instrument for Him to reach others; I am passionate about seeing all of life redeemed: (see. www.allofliferedeemed.co.uk)
My story with God
I made my choice for Jesus when I was about 4 years old. I hit my head and cracked it open and I had to get stitches. I pondered the notion of death and then my grandma told me about Jesus and prayed with me.
I grew up fairly normally, had trouble at school but had a lot of people helping me and encouraging me too. I went to a Christian school for my whole school life.
An event occurred when I was in the third grade where my church sort of broke to pieces and split apart and aspects of what we were involved in were revealed to be cultish. At this point I think a distinct distrust of "Christians" began to creep into my life, even though I never stopped "trusting Jesus". As I grew up I became increasing dissatisfied, not only with Christians, but with the whole deal: Why does Jesus say we will do greater things than Him? Why does he say that when all I see is a bunch of people quarreling over interpretations of scripture and trying to develop systems of rules to regulate and control what we do. If we're free, then why are we so bound up? And where are the miracles; the healings, the casting out of demons and the speaking in tongues? In short, where is God?? It was questions of this nature which moved me to become more and more distant from Christ.
When I reached my university years, I really tried to keep following Jesus despite my concerns. At the end of my undergraduate degree though, two things happened which had the effect of causing me to run from God and Christianity. The major thing was the loss of my best friend to suicide and my own constant battle with depression.
I took the Cartesian route (the philosophical approach of DesCartes) and dropped all my presuppositions excepting one: "I think, therefore I am!" From this position I began to truly search for truth and meaning: "Will the real God please stand up?" "Will the real Jesus please stand up?" "Will the real way and truth and life please stand up?" "Give me the coca-cola of reality; the real thing!" In my search I experimented with drugs and found the real hippie lifestyle rather appealing. I liked the idea of being natural, and basic, minimal and outward looking (caring for nature and so on). But this life-style led me (unknowingly) to wicca, and yet I was unaware and believing in Jesus the entire time, but searching for him too...if that makes sense!
To cut a long story short, I became a drug addict and reached a very low point in my life wherein I almost died. One saturday night I cried out to God on the pavement outside my house at something like midnight, and just said: "I am a liar, a hater, a thief, a drug addict, an adulterer, a fool and much worse,, but Jesus, if you really are there, and if you really do love me, and if it really was by your stripes that I was healed, then Lord heal me and make me your man!"
Well, in an instant, something like a wind was inside me and I heard a voice telling me to go to a particular church that sunday morning and there I would meet a man who would help me with my drug problem. I also had a dream (in a flash...a few moments of actual time but a whole story in my mind)about the Exodus from Egypt and the Israelites walking into the land of promise. Accompanying this was a whole lot of words spewing out of my mouth; words I did not know or understand, and a sense of a tremendous weight lifted from off me. I felt so alive and so free.
I did as I was told, and I did find a man at the church I was told to go to. He was a man who was involved in Teen Challenge, a Christian organization specializing in drug rehabilitation.
Since then I have persued Christ (or more to the point, come to the realisation that I never could run from Him; It is very much a case of me saying: Where can I hide from your Spirit Lord?, where can I go that you cannot follow? If I go to the mountain tops, you are there, and at the deepest part of the ocean I will find you! ) It has been a bumpy road, but God is good, and I can rest in that!
Other stuff about me:
I love Jesus. I want to know Him more. I have a propensity to be theoretical, and I desire greatly to become a man who lives out a practical Christian life.
Jesus is my hero; King David is a man whose character I aspire to; a man after God's own heart! If I could be that in this life --- a man after God's own heart --- then I will have been a richer man, by far, than the most fiscally wealthy person that ever lived. This is my truest dream and desire: to become a man after God's heart!
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