How many _________ does it take to change a light bulb?
1. Charismatics? Only one since his/her hands are always in the air anyway.
2. Presbyterians? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
3. Baptists? CHANGE???????
4. Pentecostals? Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
5. Catholics? None. They always use candles.
6. Episcopalians? Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.
7. Church of Christ? None. There's no evidence that light bulbs were ever changed in New Testament times.
8. United Methodists? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ