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So, I have a question. I know this one has been asked before, but do you believe that God has someone for you? And if you believe that, wouldn't it defy free will by Him choosing someone for you that you have no control over? And what about those who pray to God to help them find a Christian mate? Is that a waste of time?

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Oh, and a lot of people will say (regarding my future), "God has great things in store for you, etc, etc." Well, if God already has awesome things lined up for me, isn't that taking away my free will? So why can't he go ahead and add a man too?

The free will that God is concerned with giving you is the free will to choose Christ as your Savior. Once you have exercised that free will and have actually chosen Christ, what you do with your life is also your free will. However, the thing to remember is this, once you have chosen Christ, the Holy Spirit is dwelling inside of you. He is training your own spirit. Your spirit will let you know what to do. Now, your soul could do that which it wants to do, but you will know that you are out of the will of God. Your mind(soul) might think something wrong or carnal and that is the reason one has to regenerate their mind to be in right thinking with their born again spirit.

 

The free will that born again believers should exercise is the free will to choose what God would want for them. The free will of your soul can be exercised in whatever manner it wants, but your carnal side will condemn you with Satan's help.

 

Prayer to our Father in Heaven is never a waste of time.

 

Hope this helps,

Blessings,

Rita

Thanks for the response back. So, for the decisions I make in life (spouse, career, friends, location I live, house I'll buy, children, etc), I should let the holy spirit guide me? God doesn't care who I marry or where I work. As long as I'm doing everything in accordance to Him, right? That's where I'm conflicted. If there is "something" or "someone" good for us, will God put it or them in our path? Or does God not do anything...things will just happen? From observation and word of mouth, I have heard and seen experiences where things have worked out for people in their favor. Was it God or coincidence? And if it was God, isn't that interfering with free will?  Or does free will have limitations?
 

A lot of people have a problem with admitting that God intervenes with our free will because they have an erroneous understanding of what free will is but the bible is full of examples from beginning to end of God’s envolments in man's affairs.

 

Tell God He is wrong (not saying you Kay) for dropping Paul from the horse and regenerating him when Paul wanted nothing to do with Jesus. I was thinking about how to escape from prison when He stepped into my life and regenerated me. Did I want it - heck no - all I wanted was insane stuff, but He said - I don't think so clay... :) oh how I love Him for that.

 

Check out this discussion:

http://www.allaboutgod.net/forum/topics/what-is-free-will

Thanks for the response back :-)

LT - You know this one is tempting me big time to get a fire started hahaha but I am gonna be good boss. hehe

 

Kayla -

 

You have great questions.

 

>>do you believe that God has someone for you?

 

Yes! 

This comes about in one of two ways, but in both ways God is always involved and in control. God can give you a dream, word etc about the person He has for you. I mean He can tell you- Kayla you  know that dude on the praise and worship, the one that loves me and praises me with his guitar, that is the dude for you haha or He can simply be silent on this topic (We have personal relationships With God and He deals with us according to our maturity level etc). He can allow you to use the parameters He has set for us about this topic as well (we are not to build relationships with unbelievers etc). Let’s say there are three very beautiful sisters in my church who love God and serve him, what am I to do, well is very simple, chose the one you like the most. Yes I will ask God’s guidance and wait for it, but if I do not get an answer from Him, I will take that as him telling me that anyone I chose is under His will. So I will use my free will to do so. I will not have sex with them during the time I am seeing if we are compatible in other areas of life. If we are not, I break it off easily because we did not complicate things (disobey God) by having slept together.

 

>>…if you believe that, wouldn't it defy free will by Him choosing someone for you that you have no control over?

 

That is not the God of the bible, a God that would not allow us to have control over our choices. God allows us even to worship Satan if we want, but once we are His (We are always his, but not always part of the family)

By being bought with the blood of Jesus He has the authority as the potter to step into our lives and bless us with His beautiful and perfect will. Some call this an abuse but they do not know what they are saying for that is a beautiful truth every child of God prays for, for His will and not ours :) God is not an evil dictator but He is a loving father that will stop us from being silly at times, at others will keep us from death but not from consequences of our disobedience. We can say – Lord I know I should marry so and so but I will not and He will then do according to His good pleasure and purposes for that individual.

 

>>And what about those who pray to God to help them find a Christian mate? Is that a waste of time?

 

Not a waste of time at all but a beautiful thing to do. God answers such prayers. :)

Yeah, my mom was single for 10 years after my father and her divorced. She went to church diligently and did not have sex. I don't think she even dated. She prayed for a Christian man for those 10 years. Finally after a decade of praying, she rebelled and started to date again and obviously had sex with the ones who she committed to. Those men weren't exactly the cream of the crop. She's never had a good man. Her mother never had a good man. She doesn't blame God for her unsuccessful relationships or the men she has been with. She said it was her choice. I often wonder that or if bad luck is genetic and I'm predestined to walk in the footsteps of my grandma and mother.

Someone said that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. You must do what they did not do. Did they actually have a relationship with God or did they have religion? Did they go to a church on fire for God where the members hate sin or to a church that tickles the ears of the hearers? These things make a world of a difference in our lives.  Where they growing in Christ, in His wisdom etc or just doing church with the kind of superficial faith that millions have? I do not know anyone’s heart or mind so I am in no way making assertions, but rather asking; asking something they can only answer truthfully.  

My mom has a very strong relationship with God. My grandma believes, but is not as strong as my mom.

Kayla... Over time I have come to realize that the dilemma you present, which many, including myself, struggle with is much of our own creation. What I believe we need to do is modify our own thought process rather than expect a clear-cut answer straight from God all the time. God loves us and watches over us, for sure, but we tend to mix that message with an idea that God should prepare and deliver-up for us everything good. If that were so, people would hold no individual purpose. Speaking from personal experience, I think in order to find that place of peace we so often hope to obtain through a romantic relationship we need to develop a self training program. I think we need to train ourselves to focus on what we will give to a relationship, equally considering who we personally find worthy of our gifts, rather than continually asking ourselves when and who will give us what "I want". Once we turn our focus around we become more at ease and much less likely to suffer despair or loneliness. There will always be someone willing to receive our gifts, thus now the ball is in your court as you choose the person worth passing it to. God will bless us in our decisions and efforts as long as we remain gift-driven rather than greed-driven. Plus, if a relationship under such conditions falls apart, a "blame-game" can't be played. Results reflect only our own choices. I think one of God's great lessons is this one. I don't know if this answered your question, so I'll simply say that no, we are not all pointedly matched with a mate of God's choosing. However, that’s not to suggest that I don't think God will interpose and bless those relations that please Him, because I think that He will and many times does.  …God bless :)

Thank you :)
 

Glenda -

 

>>I think we need to train ourselves to focus on what we will give to a relationship, equally considering who we personally find worthy of our gifts, rather than continually asking ourselves when and who will give us what "I want".

 

Wow! Excellent advice. I was about to write a response, but decided to read your post first and now I have no need to write what I was going to post. I will simply add the following truth. God is not providing a mate for many people because is not the time in their lives to have one. It’s time to rebuild your own life so you can be a blessing to a Godly person.

 

When we get to the place where all you need is the Lord, then YOU are ready for a mate:

 

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