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HAVE A GIGGLE FOR A CHANGE.

A lesson to be learned From typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where They spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.



The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.


Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He had been a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends.


After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. Her son rushed into the room, found his mother on the Floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here
now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just
arrived and have been checked in.
I've seen that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!!!!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!!!! Delete Comment

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Ok, a blonde walks into a building and goes up to a lady and says "Can I have a cheeseburger, fries and a shake?"

The lady looks at her dumbfounded and says
"Miss, this is a library."

So the blonde moves closer and whispers,
"Can I have a cheeseburger, fries and a shake?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."



HOPE I DO NOT HAVE TO TICKLE YOU TO MAKE YOU LAUGH!

BLESSINGS
RAMONA P.
Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away.

Another said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."

The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!!!"
Two men get stranded on a deserted Island. The first man quickly starts gathering coconuts, begins building a shelter and then goes off searching for water. Upon his return he notices that the second man had not done a thing and was lounging on some palm branches. “What is wrong with you?” asks the first man. “Why haven’t you done anything?” “I’m not worried,” says the second man. “Why aren’t you worried?” asks the first man. “I go to church,” replies the second man. “So, what?” replies the first man. “I give $100,000 a year to the church, my pastor will find me.”
LOL! Funny, with a ring of truth to it!

Okay, if Ramona can tell a blond joke, so can I. (I was a blond at one time, so nothing personal to the blonds out there!)

"What do you call a blond skeleton in a closet?"

"Last year's 'hide 'n seek' WINNER!"
It only took one week for me to find him :-)

That puts a new twist on "Skeleton int the closet." :-)

Lord Bless,
LT
I laughed hardest at YOUR joke!
Did you go by boat or heliocopter?! LOL!
Swam, that is why it took a week. The trip back with him on my back took a little longer :-)
MY FAVOURITE COOKIES .... GIVE A DYING MAN HIS LAST WISH, PLEASE!


An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from his bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of his bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.

Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in Heaven: there, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it Heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wonderous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged, withered and shaking hand made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those", she said, "they're for the funeral."


You Can't Take It With You
HI GUYS - THIS IS TYPICAL SOUTH AFRICAN HUMOUR:

(DR DOFF IS MY BROTHER JACK AND THE MEANING OF DOFF IN SOUTH AFRICA IS : HE IS NOT THE BRIGHTEST LIGHT BULB...)

Aussie Logic

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and an Aussie were

waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.



The Aussie fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'



The Chinese Businessman called out 'Move it, time is money'

The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the Greens Keeper. Let's have a word with him.'



'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'



George the Greens Keeper replied, 'Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime they wish.'

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'

The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'

The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate R50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls'

The Aussie said, .................. 'So why can't they play at night?'



(Howzat for logic???)

PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN.

A recent study conducted by Wits University found that the average South African walks about 1200 kms a year.

Another study by the South African Medical Association found that South Africans drink, on average, 100 litres of alcohol a year.



This means, on average, South Africans get about 12 kms to the litre.

Kind of makes you proud to be South African!!





FOR KIDDIES CORNER – THE THREE BEARS



THE TRUE STORY.



A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning...

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For heaven's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who sets the table.

'It was Mummy Bear who walked the dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....

'I HAVEN'T MADE THE PORRIDGE YET!!!'



Regards and enjoy the rest of the week.

Dr. DOFF
RAMONA P.
Lol......I like the baby bear story. I think many mom's can relate to that!
BIBLICAL HUMOUR



IT DOESN'T HURT TO HAVE A LITTLE BIBLICAL HUMOUR
ONCE IN A WHILE


THESE ARE REALLY CUTE. IF YOU HEAR GREAT THUNDER AND SEE POWERFUL LIGHTENING, DELETE THIS IMMEDIATELY !!

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.


Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ??
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? ?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan...)


KEEP SMILING!!!! GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!

Friends are God's way of taking care of us.
whatta riot!

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