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I would really want someone to explain to me why does it say in the bible "Ask and you shall recieve seek and you shall find knock and it shall be opened..." I have been told that the Lord knows just what we need and when we need it and that he asks of us to ask form our heart and for he knows our heart better then we do.  Then why is it that the more you want to be patient and wait for the Lord to answer your prayers the more alone you feel and the more you feel as if there is no point in asking and seeking if for what you seek and  are asking for never is granted to you. What must one do to find that what we seek why must there be so much suffering before you can finaly find peace. It seems as if no matter how much I try to live as the Lord says the more the enemy puts things in my path that make me doubt the Lords promis. I just do not know any more can some one please tel me why is it so hard to live the life the Lord wants me to.

 

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Maritza,

 

SYF's comment above is right on - I will only add two things here.

 

1. God wants us to learn to be joyful with much or little. For this world is not our permanent home, the one to come will be and really who knows what God has planned for us who love him. But there will be a day with no more tears and a new heaven and a new earth. For now we are to learn the spiritual blessing of biblical contentment.

 
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.Philippians 4:11 

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

1 Timothy 6:8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.

 

2. We have awesome thrift stores in this country. The Goodwill is one of my favorite stores. I get brand new stuff for a few dollars. I had to die to pride to shop there, but once I saw I can buy new stuff at incredible prices I was hooked hahaha I used to and still do shop the expensive stores, but much less as I get wiser on my shopping habits.

 

Blessings to you and yours. We are very blessed in this country - there is plenty of help when it comes to food and clothing.

 

We are the body of Christ and God works through the members to provide for one anothers needs. Are you part of a Church? Are you fellowshiping? Me and another pastor joke around saying that we shop at the rich people's store hahaha that is where the rich people go to donnate their stuff hahaha I get so much new stuff that I also donnate :)

Dear, dear Maritza,

You are definitely experiencing difficult times..............

Your brothers and sisters are trying to advise Godly counsel, and we are all praying for you and your children.

 

One thing you mentioned in your last post - about I do not know, maybe I am still holding to a little of resentment towards my husband..............

This could be a problem in getting your prayers off the ground. Consider Matthew 6:14-15, " For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (15) But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (NKJV).

 

Granted, your husband has really done you and your children terribly, and continues to do so.  BUT......believe me......God will make him pay. In the meantime, try and not let him get to you.

Remember - He who angers you, controls you.

 

Grace and Peace from your family here at AAG.

Thank you all for all your kind words and prayers you are all right that there are many ways to be able to provide for my children and that I must not let those who have hurt me control my life.  I still have a lot to learn.  As for being part of a church yes I am and I know that I must turn to God to help me find peace. When I first found out about my husband’s betrayal I thought that my life was over then when I lost a my job and I really thought that I must have done something so horrible that I deserved all that was happening to me. But I know that is not true for God is not a punishing God he is a loving God and all of you have reminded me of this. Thank you all once more I know that times will be hard but God will not allow me or my children to suffer needlessly.  I am in school and I know that things will get better for us I just have to keep my eyes on the Lord and truly let go of the pain though it may be hard at time I know that it will. Yes hard times are upon me and my children but I also know that I have many blessings.  May God keep on blessing each one of you and thank you for praying with me.

Maritza,
First, I want to say that a man who will not take care of his family is worse than an unbeliever. 

1 Timothy 5:8
King James Version (KJV)
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

I realize those words might not bring you comfort and encouragement since you are still hurting from the loss of your marriage. Please know also that since he left you and has committed sexual immorality, then based on what Jesus said in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9, you are free to divorce him and marry another believer. 

You are a very attractive woman and a caring person. I have no doubts that God will guide you to another mate. The most difficult part is waiting for God to act in our lives according to His plan and in His time.

I pray you will do as David has advised and seek God not only to empower you to overcome your trials but also to heal your heartache. You have a broken heart. 

You also have the terrible pain of wanting to be in a loving relationship with a caring and compassionate person. 

Right now your children need you to focus on their needs and I pray God will help you set healthy boundaries and not want too much, too fast, in life or from others. All too often in this world love is given or taken away based on performance. Husbands leave their wives. Engagements end. Friendships end. 

I'm so thankful that God's love is constant even though we fail in many ways. I pray for your broken heartedness and know that you are struggling to accept the loss of a marriage and to go on with your life, providing for your children as a single parent. You need strength and encouragement and you also need provision from God.

Divorce is very difficult for children. So I understand why your main concern right now is how you are doing as a parent and a provider. Statistics show that most children of divorce do return to living in a family within five years after a divorce. From what you've shared, your marriage recently ended. You need time to heal and I trust that God is working all of these things together for your good because I know you love God.

Just hang in there and allow God to help you and your children heal from this loss. Focus on healing before you begin seeking longterm, committed relationships with another person. It isn't wrong to want security and commitment and God knows your needs. Losing a marriage is traumatic. You are in a state of transition. You also seem to have a lot of guilt and self blame. I can't imagine what it's like to be in your shoes. I imagine you are fearful of the future and you feel very rejected. Who wouldn't? But I know you are not responsible for the bad choices your husband has made. Don't blame yourself for the problems your family is going through since you are suffering from the effects that his sinful choices are causing. God will answer your prayers.

Rejection is just what I am feeling, I know that I have a lot to learn and a lot more to be thankful for and with each passing day it seems to get just a little better. I also know that God is working to help me see this. Just yesterday a woman who I had never met before said to me you are an inspiring woman.  We had only been talking for a short time while we waited for our cars to be serviced and after sharing with her just a few of my thoughts she just came right out and said to me “ you are very inspiring and should be a motivational speaker or help others”  Before getting married and having my family I was in school and that was my goal to help others who like me had been survivors of an abusive  childhood, when I met my husband I was in school but once we started to form our family I choose to but school on the side sense I wanted to give my family my full and total attention. For a while I even was a stay at home mom but that quickly ends when he got sick and I had to go back to work to help out.  He recovered but we made the choice that it would be best if I kept on working sense I had a greater chance of getting a good paying job that would provide the family with a sense of security and that he would go back to school.  Well to make a long story short had a good life for 13 years until two years ago when he choose to start seeing someone else. Now that he is gone I have am going back to school finishing what I had started and the words of that stranger that I met yesterday just  gave me a sense of validation. That God is telling me that he knows that I have been hurt and that I may not have all that I once did but better things are on their way I must just stay on the path he is guiding me in and that I may stumble, trip and fall but he is right there to pick me up and get me back on track. I know that this road may not be easy but I am willing to stay on it until the end I am not about to give up just yet. God has given me a talent and I am not going to just hide it put it away. I will finish school and I will help others just as I always wanted to do.  Thank you all for your words and prayers

Hello everyone I am very confused as to how I am feeling about some recent news that I found out about my children’s dad.  I had been upset at him for not providing for my children but today I found out that he has just been diagnosed  with type two diabetes and that his trygliceryns levels are dengersusly high. Know the type of man that he is I know that he does not like to take any meds and may not even follow the diet or exercise just as the doctors have told him to do.  I am no longer mad at him rather I am sad for him, and I even hope that  whoever he is living with now will make sure that he does take care of his health. I am I going crazy why do I care so much that he is taken care of  when he did not show any signs of concern when I had my own health scare last year when I had to go to the ER because the doctors thought that I might be having a stroke. Why is it that I am so concern for him and want to call him but I know that he will not pick up my call and will just be mean to me when I ask him if he is well and if he is taking care of himself? Is it wrong to care for him so much after all that he has put me though I am so confused, can someone explain to me why it that I am having this concerns is.

Maritza, I've asked the same question about someone who did me dirty as well.  And everyone is looking for answers and wants to explain things away.  I was told by a Charismatic Deliverance Ministry it was unhealthy soul ties.  I heard Joyce Meyers recently talk about soul ties in a session online.  For what it's worth, my thoughts on that, perhaps someone can have unhealthy soul ties, but I call bunk for bunk anymore.  I am so sick of the garbage that comes out to explain how everything can be prayed away, wished away or spoken away.

Why do you care?  The same reason I still care for the one who hurt me and chose his path.  Because we're compassionate, because we don't stop loving people and give up on them as easily as they want to give up on others.  Because we always hold a hope that they will change their ways, and because THAT is what the Bible instructs us to do.  You care because you loved this man, and part of you still loves what he was.  He's a human being who made some stupid mistakes and is still making them and is deep down hurting himself as much or more than he is hurting you.  He just hasn't felt the force of it yet.  They hurt themselves in pent up guilt they hold in for years and years, in one bad relationship after another.  They don't turn to God for healing.  We do and yet we still hurt.  But we express our hurt in healthier ways rather than bottle it up causing us to continue making bad choices.

You may have a point after all he was a good man when I met him and we did have 13 wonderful years together and I do not regret any of those days at his side. I may still love him and not just because if it were not for him I would not have my three wonderful children but because he was a good husband and father. Someone once told me not to hold on to the pain he caused me but to the happiness that he gave me. Maybe that is why I feel sad for him that he is ill I do not want any harm to come his way and sense I am not with him any more I guess that all I can do for him is pray that he gets well and is taken care of.

Maritza,

One thing to keep in mind - There's another dimension to this relationship that was.......he is still the father of your three children. That will be true for the rest of your lives.........no matter what happens over the years.

There is a reason for everything that happens.

Maybe........God is getting this man's attention with this new dynamic in his life. At this point nobody knows what this problematic addition will elicit in his life.....in his present relationship........??

 

Stay tuned in to the " God  Broadcasting Company" for further results.

 

"Don't be sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (From Nehemiah 8:10).

I am so mad right now I just found out that my ex-husband lied to yet again he had told me that we did not get anything back this year in our taxes and that we ended up paying  back a large amount as always  I trusted that he was telling me the truth and did not say anything.  Then when I asked to see our returns for my school  financial aid he just says that he does not have to give me anything that the papers are all for his records only.  So I called IRS and it turns out that we did get a return of more than $3000 money that could have gone to my children for shoes and clothing how could he be so selfish and take the money without even thinking that the kids. No wonder when he last came to see them he had new clothes and new name brand sun glasses. How can I keep from blowing up and telling the kids that while we are struggling and barley getting by he is spending money that should have gone to them on himself and who know who else. How can I keep form yelling out why must God keep on bless him while I have to struggle just to put food on the table, so many of you have said that I must just trust in the Lord and keep on praying and not to hold on to the anger and hurt that this man has done to me.  But why then why must I keep on finding out so many things that make me want to just want him to feel the kind of pain that I have been feeling, why can’t he just go away and never come back again at least this way I could have the peace of mind that I nor my children will ever see him again and have to beg him to buy them things that they need.  I know that my children need their father as a person who never knew her father I know how important it is for them to be with their father but if he is not willing to be a father to them why do we need him around the only father my children need and can count on is our heavenly father. I know that many of you will tell me that I am wrong to be anger but how else am I supposed to get out these feelings hitting my children, drinking, doing drugs, going out and not caring who I met and messing around. This is the only way that I feel that I can get out my anger where I will not hurt no-one so if you want you may comment on this letter but right now all I can do is be angry and sad that no matter how much I try to follow God’s rules and no matter how much I try not hold any anger towards those who hurt me or my children the harder it gets.  I know that God loves me and my children but why do they have to suffer for whatever it is that I have failed to do. Why must my children have to pay for my sins, they are my one joy and I love then so and it hurts me that I am not able to give them just what the need.  I know that I am being tested and boy am I failing for I cannot stop feeling sad and angry right now. How can I stay strong in my faith and not turn form the Lord all I have been asking is for a little bit of help just to be able to sustain my children and myself  is that a sin is that so bad is that so evil? I know that my time is not the Lords time and that I and my children will someday be free of form these chains but they are just getting too heavy and all I ask is for a little help. Just one tiny bit of help I am in school to become a social worker and help others because I have always wanted to be that. I have a good enough job all I am asking is for a tiny bit of help to clean up my life and repair a better one for my children how can that be so evil that I can get any  help? I guess that all I must do is keep on praying and if any of you do not like what I right well you do not have to read but I must keep on posting an writing because I will not hurt my children I will not turn to drugs or alcohol or any kind of life style that will not be pleasing to God out of anger and sadness for I know that someday my prayers will be answered and then maybe then I will find peace.

Can I ask if the courts are involved in this situation? And nope. In no way would I tell you not to be mad. God never tells us not to be mad. Do you realize how often He gets mad at us? He tells us not to sin in our anger. I only see you venting, not sinning so feel free to release on us any time hun.

Maritza, there could be any number of reasons for all this, or a combination of them.  Either God wants to enable you to bless him even as he does these things, or satan is using this to cause you to stumble, or your ex is simply a slave to evil and there is just evil in the world that we have to deal with.  God doesn't always stop it for His own reasons, to toughen us up, teach us He'll provide without relying on another, humble us, teach us to vent anger appropriately, no one knows. 

I can however tell you that my daughter's father never would pay his support, and he only owed state minimum.  He would come around with new $200 cowboy boots while I was relying on welfare to make it and going to school to get better for us.  I was not saved at that time and I was very angry over it.  But I can also tell you this....

That man died last year.  In his 50s.  He was grungy, looked to be in his 80s.  He'd become a hoarder, boarding himself in his home filled with birds and every scrap of everything.  He turned to drugs to numb his pain and his life.  He lost his second wife and two daughters from that marriage as well.  He spent years running from child support, running from life, and he died miserable and alone, except for his birds. 

People like this have their reward here, or so it appears at times, but it truly does take it's toll and always catches up to them.

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