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Hi, 

I'm wondering what it is that makes and man and woman married before God.

Is it the ceremony conducted by a pastor that makes a marriage legit before God?

Is it the secular marriage license that makes the marriage to be legit before God?

Both?

Where does one draw the line of fornication?

My "husband" and I haven't been officially married, in that we don't have a marriage license. We had a private "wedding ceremony" with just the two of us where we each recognized our lifetime commitment in marriage to one another before God. Is this enough? Are we biblically speaking, committing fornication?

I appreciate any input!

Thanks, 

Jenny

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Jenny,

I believe it is the intention that one has in one's heart as to whether a person is married in the sight of God. If you have made a life long commitment to one another it should be enough. However, in today's society, the lack of  a ceremony between the two of you might not hold water.

1.   Your children will be illegitimate in the sight of the law.

2.   In the case of disability or death you aren't protected to receive the property that would otherwise be yours by inheritance.

3.   Can't file a joint tax return in most areas.

A legal ceremony actually protects you in the sight of the law.

I'm sure others will mention other reasons.

My question is...why did you not have a legal or church ceremony? What were your reasons?

Blessings...

Rita

thanks Rita, good things to consider...

we weren't saved at the time.

we didn't feel it necessary to have a pastor officiate because we didn't affiliate ourselves with any church or religious system. also, we were aware of the corruption of the secular world system, so we didn't feel it necessary to have a government rep. officiate it either.

do you still think our marriage can be seen as legit in the eyes of God even though we got together before either of us was saved?

thanks~

I went to the courthouse. If I have to follow man's law, I might as well follow the man who made the law. The wedding ceremony is more for the bride then the groom. It's every woman's dream to be a princess for a day. Others may have the need to wed in a church or by a pastor. Different strokes for different folks

Jenny,

I believe you are saved where you are at. 24 So, brothers,4 win whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.

 1 Co 7:24
I do think, however, that one should work at the position one finds himself in. You started living together as man and wife before you were saved. I believe that you should continue in this relationship. Also I need to state, that our laws dictate that you should be united legally. God tells us to obey the laws we are under.  In some states a child born out of legal wedlock needs to be legitimized to inherit from the father. Easiest way to do that is to marry.
Regardless of how you handle the situation, you are to remain together. God says you should have a marital relationship with one man and one man only...except if that man should die. Then you are free to remarry.
God puts His Will on marriage throughout the Bible. One needs to study the entire Word to get all that He would have for a couple united.
Blessings to you and yours.....
Rita
 

Hi Rita   I thankyou for reminding me  American laws are very much different than Canadian laws.

          Therefore Jenny I would take the advice of Rita very seriously.

I am in Canada

To make it simple Jenny. You have asked the question, therefore I would assume you are troubled by this.  If that is so then what harm is there in getting a piece of paper. Because truthfully under Canadian law if you are together more than 6 months you are consider by the law in a marriage situation. And have the legal rights of a married couple. That way for testimony purposes if anyone were to ask you have it

          

thanks for your input, i am convinced that its a good thing to do and my husband is thinking seriously about it

Praise God Jenny.

Thanks Rita, 

Things to consider for sure

Here's my take on the subject. I don't recall any situation in the Word that says they had a document to be legit. Back in the day, you take her to a tent & she came out married. To be married in the eyes of the law is to have a license. We are to follow man's law unless it goes against God's Word. I think what you need to look at is how others see you. We are known by the blood of the Lamb & the word of our testimonies. You might say "I don't care what people think of me. I know my heart". That's all well & good to a certain point. We are to represent Christ & if others see you as shacking up, how does that represent? When me & my husband was dating, we convinced ourselves that God knew our hearts & we would get married later. I felt so bad about it that we were married 19 days later. We're going on 13 years. So my question would be what harm is it going to do to go to the courthouse & get you a piece of paper? 

hi Taminator, thanks for your reply!

you said, "We are to represent Christ & if others see you as shacking up, how does that represent?" very good point...

"So my question would be what harm is it going to do to go to the courthouse & get you a piece of paper?" it has been my husband who hasn't wanted to go to a courthouse for a document- he's rather unconventional....

i mentioned to him what you said about how we are representing Christ to others. He said he'll think about it, so we'll see!

love, 

jenny

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