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My guilt is so overwelming. It's effecting my relationship with Jesus. My heart has turned very bitter. I'm starting to loath myself.

 

I know people would say to forgive myself but I'm not sure how.

 

What do I do? I know I'm suppose to trust Him...it's just difficult...the guilt is effecting my relationship with Jesus. What is the solution...how can a person turn around from such bitterness and resent of one's self?

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This link may help. It says it better that I could.

I also have done things in my past that I felt very guilty for. We all have. I don't have any magic words, I'll leave that up to Gods Word. I do know that wrapping yourself in the Word and constant prayer worked for me. I also found that taking the focus off of my guilt and focusing on my relationship with God led my to focus more on others and trying to help them instead of  trying to make myself feel better and in turn it did make me feel better.

What do you do? lay your trouble at the feet of Jesus, ask for His forgiveness, know that you have it and then ask Him to give you the strength that only He can give you. You and I will never solve our own problems. Be still and know that He is.

http://www.gotquestions.org/guilt-dealing.html

In Gods love,

Gary

Heavenly Father,

I pray that you will help feetbreeze know of your love and forgiveness. Please make Your face shine on feebreeze, send your angels charge over the guilt and grant peace to the troubled heart. We know all have sinned and fallen short of Your glory. No one is worthy and yet You give us Your forgiveness by simply asking for it and believing in the sacrifice you son Jesus made at the cross. I ask this in Jesus name. Amen.

You seem to be struggling with so many emotions and looking for ways to make the sadness go away. At your age I wish you could be happy and full of life. Most of what is bothering you may not even be because of anything you have done. You have a very low self esteem, going by what you have shared. That generally happens to people who feel bad for things over which they have no ownership -- things that in reality there is nowhere for them to feel bad about at all in any way whatsoever. It's hard sometimes to stand up for yourself in the difficult moments in life. But Jesus stood up for us and then laid down His life for us. Just give it to Jesus. Ask Him to take away the guilt. I pray the burden of the guilt is lifted away.

Thank you Gary for the link. I liked this part

 

"...A wise saying is “If God has saved you out of a sewer, don’t dive back in and swim around.”

 

Lay my troubles at Jesus' feet? Thank you for saying that. For God used that to help me realize something...The reason I've not had the faith is because I have fear...

 

Honestly,I think it's an attack from the enemy...planting those seeds and reminding me...God was doing something good in my life concerning the gospel and wanting to help. Than wham! The enemy came and blabbed his fat ugly lip about something I did years before Jesus even saved me. And, he used one of my weaknesses...low self esteem and posible self pity. Than he started accusing that no one cares....

 

 

Char, thanks. I'm not as bad as was earlier. He's letting me see the "layers" in this problem/s.

 

Listening to Twila Paris' Days of Elijah helps. Between that, you guys helping and the Holy Spirit softening my heart (He was trying to tell me to have faith/trust God complelty I was just locked up and hardened my heart for the overwelming fear in the situation). Well, He's softening it again.

Amanda, thank you. Here, have a hug from your sister in Christ. :-) You made me smile,thank you.

 

I've struggled with low self esteem for a long time. It really started to hit me back in the 8th grade though. The enemy knows that's my weak point. It seems like all of those years of bullying...alot of it was because of my hair. One girl was sitting with someone behind me on the bus oneday. They did something to my hair. She felt bad. It turns out that girl, I remember her back in Caligraphy in 12th grade, grew up and ended up not being a bully. One of the last things I remember about her is she was alot nicer than before. That and she was pregnant. Please pray for Brea and her child, I don't know if she was/is saved.

 

People grow up-well some people do. :)

 

I don't want to be mad at any of them. Low self esteem is a result of past events. What's done is done. God used the bullying for good to help me someday find Him. I shouldn't be upset. After all, I realize I was close to going to Hell...the bullying made me suicidal and I wanted to do it while I was still unsaved. The point is He saved me and the past is over with.

 

Thanks everyone. Group hug anyone? : Christ like hugs:

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