Wait Upon the Wind

Changes are occurring. At a rapid rate. My vision is becoming clearer. I am stepping outside myself and seeing myself for the first time.

He created the tree in the Garden, not to tempt, but to offer them a choice whether or not to follow Him. To give them the yin and the yang to know joy and sorrow. If you've known sorrow before, you will know it when it knocks a second time and you will have the option to leave the door shut. This allows you to stay the Course. Free will. What every human being claims to want. Wars are fought and millions upon millions have been killed in the name of freedom. God gave it to us, yet we continue to persecute Him for it and "for tempting and punishing us unjustly" and for allowing us to reap the consequences of our own decisions. How unfair we become when we're ashamed of our mistakes. Always blaming someone else. Adam and Eve both did it.

"The will is a beast of burden. If God mounts it, it wishes and goes as God wills. If Satan mounts it, it wishes and goes where Satan wills. Nor can it choose its rider...the riders contend for its possession."
~Martin Luther

Could it be that the greatest deception Satan ever pulled off was to convince us that God had ill intent in the Garden and is, therefore malicious toward us? If in fact that is the case and Satan shrouded us in ignorance, that would mean that Satan is the benevolent one.

"You will know them by their fruits."

What fruit has Satan offered? How has Lucifer proven that he is merciful and loving? What facts are satanists (both admittedly and unknowingly by consequence of one's actions) basing their convictions on? Those who live by the precept of "survival of the fittest" and "there is no devil and there is no Hell" embrace the idea that free will is a survival tool to be used as a bludgeon to anyone who seems weaker or beneath their own egotistical greatness. Their belief is that when one dies, he becomes a decaying corpse, disposed of life and empty of a soul that simply ceases to be upon one's last gasp. How beautiful that notion is. Life is a battle of wits and muscle. That's it. Where, I ask is the passion in that? Deep down, the human soul knows that this is not all there is. It knows that we have a Creator who gave us a purpose and a heart for a reason. To deny one's own purpose is a true crime of passion.

There are people that live their whole lives as victims. I have been guilty of this fatal attitude. Yet we can all be victorious through Jesus. Instinctively I have always known that my burdens and mistakes were to teach me something. I wondered who it was that was teaching me these lessons because I have never felt like a god and have never bought into the New Age idea that "we are our own god." At least not knowingly. I believed that there was a God and that all of my hardships were valuable lessons, only I blamed God for the sorrow they brought. As if He was punishing me for a crime I had yet to commit.

How did I miss You all this time
Standing in front of me
Silent and poised
Humble and holy
Beautiful and visible to the open eye
How many ways were You reaching for me
How many times did I make You cry
I could never crawl low enough
To hide my shame
How did I ever come to doubt You
Why did I walk away
How blind my life has been
How dark the vision
My sad heart knew no way
I lost and cried
Bled and died
Poured my soul out on the empty road
Sold my soul for a life full of fear
Forgetting somehow that You were near
Never leaving my side
You waited
Suffering through my ego
My pride
Was what kept my heart so far away
I never thought about your broken heart
Each tear that streaked across your face
My broken heart consumed me
My babies are alive
Your Baby had to die
For me
How I wish I could have comforted
Your broken heart
Shielded your eyes
From what we did to Him there
Wiped the tears from your solemn face
Wrapped You in my embrace
And told You that I'm so very sorry
And that I love You more than life
Thank You for never telling me a lie
Thank You for loving me


I am so grateful that He never gave up on me. I must learn now to wait upon the Lord. After all He's been through, what right do I have to complain or tell Him that He should act when I see fit? I shall gaze up into the clouds and grit my teeth in excitement at the first kiss of the breeze on my cheek. For then I know that the Lord is with me...

Dancing with me in the sky....

Calming me with a holy sigh that I can feel as it graces my life...

Come Lord...

I want to fly...