I still need time to heal...

I'm realizing things that have caused me so much pain. The bullies,cats getting posioned. In 8th grade Geffoery could have been one of those people who takes young girls online. There was a red flag...I didn't want to say what state I lived in. He said since I didn't want to say,we must not really be friends. I wanted to leave the Pokemon forum (which I quit a long time ago). He threatened to hang himself if I left...

This Nov. will be 6 years since the "incident" with Josh."You're so dead I'm going to stab you with this pencil! Just wait until I get you out on the street alone." I realize God used it for good though. The bullies went on for so long I wondered if I could even be measured up to a human being. As you may already know I got into a very deep depression. I scratched myself and sometimed hit my head against the bus window. I was planning on starving myself to death. It didn't work out obviously. And I wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't think how long it would take to starve to death. Before I would have been succesful my parents really would have been questioning me anyways. I didn't realize that it really takes a toll on the organs (other than the stomach, of course). I didn't realize that at 14/15 years old.

Alot of things have happened over the years. And I'm greatful God has gotton me to where He wants me to be at this point in life. Before I go any further. Please if there's anyone reading this out there who is sucidal please don't do it. There has to be someone in your life who will listen to you. If you have to go to a hotline that helps those who are thinking of taking their own life please do call. I can gurantee you calling that number is something you won't regret. I didn't do it when I had the opurtunity and I'm very glad I didn't take my own life. Most importently, Jesus,your Creator, cares. He will carry you through whatever your going through. He knows every hurt and pain you have to go through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YTRD9xPXEo

:sighs: I realize healing doesn't happen automatically. And it's ok that you still need time. Healing is one process that can never be rushed. I learned that. Healing takes time and Jesus carrys you every step of the way.  Since He had compassion on the blind and lame He will surely have compassion on someone who's struggling with really deep and personal problems.