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Marriage Reconciliation


Marriage Reconciliation

Marriage Restoration Through Our Lord And Savour Jesus Christ

Members: 51
Latest Activity: Feb 6, 2019

What the Bible says about marriage

What the Bible says about marriage
Marriage is a DIVINE INSTITUTION Contrary to some contemporary opinion, marriage is not a human institution that has evolved over the millennia to meet the needs of society. If it were no more than that, then conceivably it could be discarded when it is deemed no longer to be meeting those needs. Rather marriage was God's idea, and human history begins with the Lord Himself presiding over the first wedding. (Genesis 2:18-25)

Marriage is to be regulated by DIVINE INSTRUCTIONS Since God made marriage, it stands to reason that it must be regulated by His commands. In marriage, both husband and wife stand beneath the authority of the Lord. Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it (Psalm 127:1)

Marriage is a DIVINE ILLUSTRATION In both Old and New Testaments, marriage is used as the supreme illustration of the love relationship that God established with His people.
Israel is spoken of as the wife of Jehovah (Isaiah 54:5; Jeremiah 3:8; Hosea 2:19-20).
The Church is called the bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:22-32).
It can be said that the Christian marriage is sort of a "pageant" in which the husband takes the part of the Lord Jesus, loving and leading his wife as Christ does the Church; and the wife plays the role of the believer, loving and submitting to her husband as the Christian does to the Lord.
Thus Christian marriage should be an object lesson in which others can see something of the divine-human relationship reflected.

Marriage is a COVENANT
From the earliest chapters of the Bible the idea of covenant is the framework by which man's relationship to God is to be understood, and which also regulates the lives of God's people.
A covenant is an agreement between two parties, based upon mutual promises and solemnly binding obligations.
It is like a contract, with the additional idea that it establishes personal relationships.
God's covenant with Abraham and his descendants is summarized in the statement, I will be your God, and you shall be my people.
Marriage is called a covenant (Malachi 2:14), the most intimate of all human covenants.
The key ingredient in a covenant is faithfulness, being committed irreversibly to the fulfillment of the covenant obligations.
The most important factor in the marriage covenant is not romance; it is faithfulness to the covenant vows, even if the romance flickers.

God meant marriage to be the total commitment of a man and woman to each other. It is not two solo performances, but a duet. In marriage, two people give themselves unreservedly to each other (Genesis 2:25; 1 Corinthians 7:3,4).
What God has joined together let no man separate, declared our Lord (Matthew 19:6). Till death do us part, is not a carry-over from old-fashioned romanticism, but a sober reflection of God's intention regarding marriage (Romans 7:2,3; 1 Corinthians 7:39).

What the Bible teaches about divorce
Divorce is abhorrent to God (Malachi 2:15,16)
Divorce is always the result of sin
God's basic intention for marriage never included divorce; but when sin entered human experience, God's intention was distorted and marred.
Under perfect conditions there was no provision for divorce, but God allowed divorce to become a reality because of man's sinfulness (Deut. 24:1-4; Matt. 19:7,8).
To say that divorce is always the result of sin is not to say, however, that all divorce is itself a sin. It may be the only way to deal with the sinfulness of the other party, which has disrupted the marriage relationship.
There are two conditions under which divorce is biblically permissible.
Since divorce is a sinful distortion of God's intention for marriage, it is an alternative of last recourse, to be avoided whenever possible. However, Scripture does teach that there are two circumstances in which divorce is permitted (though never required):
In the case of sexual unfaithfulness (Matthew19:9)
In the case of desertion of a believing partner by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15,16)
Divorce carries with it consequences and complications
Divorce, because it is a violation of God's plan, carries with it painful consequences and complications.
God has made perfect provisions for the complete forgiveness of all our sin through the death of Christ, even the sins of sexual infidelity and unjustified divorce (1 Peter 2:24; Colossians 2:13).
Forgiveness, however, does not remove the temporal consequences of our sins, or the pain and grief involved in the death of a relationship.
Divorced singles, single parent families, remarriage, and the problems of "blended" families are part of the consequences of God's intention being thwarted.
The church is to minister to individuals and families suffering these consequences, and to seek to help them respond with maturity to their problems.
Reconciliation is to be preferred to divorce.
While divorce is permitted, it is never commanded. Forgiveness and reconciliation are always to be preferred (1 Corinthians 7:10,11).

What the Bible teaches about remarriage
Remarriage is permitted, where the former spouse is deceased (Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:39).
Where a divorce occurred prior to conversion, remarriage may be permitted.
If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, behold new things are come, (2 Corinthians 5:17).
When one becomes a Christian, all sin is forgiven; and all condemnation removed (Romans 8:1). Thus, pre-conversion conditions do not necessarily preclude remarriage to a Christian mate.
If the former marriage partner has also become a Christian, remarriage to that partner should be sought.
Where the former partner has not been converted, and attempts to share the gospel with him/her are rejected, however, remarriage to that person would be disobedient to Scripture (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Even though remarriage is allowable biblically, there may be consequences from past sins that continue, or destructive patterns from the old life that can carry into new relationships.
Thus a new marriage should be entered into with due thoughtfulness, and with the counsel of mature Christians.
Where a divorce has occurred on Scriptural grounds, the offended party is free to remarry. A person who has been divorced because of infidelity of a marriage partner, or desertion by an unbelieving partner, is free to remarry (1 Corinthians 7:15).
What about desertion by a "Christian" spouse?
1 Corinthians 7 deals specifically with the case of a nonbeliever who refuses to live with a believing spouse.
The question then arises as to the remarriage of a believer who was divorced by a partner who also professed to be a Christian. Such a situation ideally should involve the church in the steps of disciplinary action outlined in Matthew 18.
A Christian who decides to walk out of a marriage without biblical cause is in violation of Scripture. Such a person who refuses the counsel and admonition of the elders and persists in following the course of disobedience ultimately is to be dealt with as though he/she is an unbeliever (Matthew 18:17).
The deserted spouse would then be in a position of having been deserted by one whose sinful behavior and unresponsiveness to spiritual admonition gives evidence of an unregenerate heart, and thus falls under the provision of 1 Corinthians 7:15.
Where a former spouse has remarried, remarriage is permitted for the other person. Regardless of the reasons for the divorce itself, if one of the partners has remarried, the union is permanently broken and reconciliation is impossible, and thus the remaining partner is free to remarry.
Scripture does not absolutely forbid remarriage of a person who has caused a non-biblical divorce.
Where there has been conversion (in the case of a person who was not a Christian when the divorce occurred) or the demonstration of genuine and heartfelt repentance (in the case of one who was a Christian at the time of the divorce), remarriage may be permitted for the offending party if
the former spouse has remarried or
the former partner refuses reconciliation (1 Corinthians 7:15).
Scripture recognizes the possibility of separation that does not lead to divorce.
Because of man's sinful nature, couples can, at times, be involved in a marital relationship that is destructive, either physically or emotionally, to the two marriage partners and/or their children.
It is possible that separation might become necessary because of the destructive nature of the relationship or the potential danger to one or more of the family members.
Such a situation does not provide grounds for dissolution of the marriage and the establishment of a new marriage.
Where no biblical ground for remarriage exists, a Christian is bound to seek reconciliation as long as there is a possibility of such reconciliation taking place (1 Corinthians 7:11).

Answers to some related questions
Is there ever a totally innocent party in marital discord or divorce?
No one is ever free from sinful conduct or attitudes, so in this sense there is no "innocent party."
However, there are some sins that nullify the marriage covenant, and some which, though they may be serious, do not.
In any case of marital discord, both partners should be encouraged to try to understand how they personally contributed to the conflict.
Will divorced persons be allowed to participate in service opportunities in the church?
Spiritual, psychological, and relational maturity are primary qualifications for service opportunities.
Divorce would be considered only one part of a much broader evaluation of a person's suitability for service. Divorce would not necessarily preclude serving.
A primary consideration must be the reputation the individual has in the Body of Christ and the community (1 Timothy 3:2,7; Titus 1:6).
What if there has been no sexual unfaithfulness in a Christian marriage, but two Christians decide to dissolve their marriage because they are incompatible?
The Bible does not recognize incompatibility as grounds for divorce.
Reconciliation must be achieved, and every means possible should be considered, including individual and/or marriage counseling.
If Christ is on the throne of two human hearts, conflict will cease. He does not fight with Himself.
A frequent reason given for seeking a divorce is that the original marriage was a mistake. The couple believes that they got married for the wrong reasons and are asking why they should perpetuate a mistake.
God's promise is that He is able to cause all things to work together for good, even our human mistakes (Romans 8:28).
The Bible does not recognize a "mistake" as grounds for divorce.
A deliberate, knowledgeable violation of God's revealed will for marriage is never an appropriate response to a mistake made earlier in life. "Two wrongs do not make a right."
What if a couple is separated or divorced, and both desire to have sexual intimacy with each other?
Sexual intimacy is the privilege of a marriage relationship.
If the couple is already divorced, such intimacy would be classed as fornication.
If the couple is not actually divorced, then sexual intimacy might be appropriate (1 Corinthians 7:4-7).
However, serious consideration should be given by each partner as to their personal motivation in the relationship. One of the considerations a couple must have is their reputation with their children and friends.

Discussion Forum

Hope for Healing

Started by Paul Jan 6, 2014. 0 Replies

Needing Guidance and Encouragement from the Lord

Started by Melanie Christine Brooks. Last reply by diane allen Oct 23, 2011. 3 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Simon on February 6, 2019 at 4:48pm

well its not looking good, my wife cant get over it .after 13 years and a good life together she keeps dwelling on the past and cant see that God has changed me, she wants to take my 8 year old daughter away from me, Please Pray that God keeps my family together,,only God can do it now,,

Comment by Simon on January 24, 2019 at 2:33pm

Prayer Warriors needed, I am in despair, I feel like I am losing my family , I Love my wife she is my soul mate,and my 7 year old daughter is truly a gift from God, I am losing them slowly do to my sinful past, PLEASE pray for me and my family to get back together and heal, sometimes I feel like if I died they would be better off, at least in my daughters eyes I will still be her hero, I am at the end of my rope

Comment by Jimminey Christmas on October 4, 2017 at 6:57am

Looking for guidance.  I want nothing more than to reconcile my marriage.  Its been tough.  My wife and I have been married four years now, but only two of them have really been meaningful.  First of all, we met the wrong way.  I was "newly" divorced.  She was still married.  We fell in love, they separated, and we were married the next year.  I had a daughter, while she had two sons and a daughter.  I feel our guilt and those sins were cleansed, but not long after that, we lost our way with God.  I belonged to one church, her another.  We both tried each other's church, but couldn't get comfortable.  We tried other churches to no avail.  Basically, we gave up.  This not only effected our walk with God in our marriage, but I feel it took away from our family.  The reason for the bad two years was due to her oldest son and my daughter.  Both have their issues.  As soon as they became teenagers, the problems came into play.  Her son has always had behavioral issues, but it was to the point he was getting suspended in school, setting fires, and even getting arrested and sent off to a behavioral center.  Instead of turning to me for counsel, she turned to her ex-husband.  Yes, he is the father of the son, but once we were married, I believe she should have taken my guidance.  Instead of me turning to God, I turned to alcohol.  By the end of last year, I was drinking pretty heavily.  My wife moved out in March, but came back in April.  When she came back, she wasn't herself.  I had cleaned up and was in the Word.  But after months of trying to be the perfect husband to this now imperfect wife, I gave up.  I went back to drinking and being judgmental.  She just moved out again this past Sunday and now I'm lost.  I know what I need to do.  I know what has to be done, I just pray I haven't lost her for good.  We were both in the wrong, but I can only be accountable for myself and I am not proud of who I was to her.  I know God comes first, but I feel broken with Him as long as my wife is away.  I'm praying for the Holy Spirit to scream at me.  I lost that voice along the way and I am searching for God, searching for answers, searching for my next steps to take.  We also have a three year old daughter, and this is very difficult.  Very...

Comment by trey on September 10, 2012 at 4:04am

my husband is an alcoholic he burned my house last week cause he put something on stove and went to sleep cause he was drunk. Im tired what do i do, i told him its me or the beer . oh and now my lanlord wants me out before he cause anymore damage to the house. so now im homeless cause i cant afford to live by mesl not enough income i told him his drinking is hurting our marriage he acts like im talking to a wall cause he continues to drink in the house and cook. i work 3rd shift so i cant be there all the time so i put him out. landlord put the house on the market she say i can stay till the house sell. i dont want to moveforward with my husband because what if it happens again. any advice on what do about my mind being confused. been married for 15 yrs and im tired just tired.

Comment by MARTIN PELFREY on May 5, 2011 at 6:59am
Me and my wife of twenty years have had some problems and have been separated now for about 8 months. I have rededicated my backslid life back to God, but she still feels I may hurt her. I have asked if she wanted a divorce (( even though it killed me to ask? )) she says she doesn't know. I love her and want to honor God and her by staying married. Please pray for us.
Comment by Mayra Vasquez on October 29, 2009 at 11:21am
God Bless you all and may God bless your marraiges and continue to work within you all to live by HIS word and Love your husbands and wifes the way God wants us to love them. In the Name of Jesus Amen.
Comment by Davina on October 19, 2009 at 3:34am
In Phillipians 4:6-7 It stated "Be careful for nothing: but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. and the peace that passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." God does not want us to worry about anything. This may seem difficult to fathom but it is true. This truly requires us to walk by faith and not by sight. This can be applied to any life situation especially when dealing with a difficult time in your marriage. I meditate on those verses whenever I am going through a tough time. It is truly settling to know that be is with us always. So do not give up, God's timing is perfect....He will see you through!
Comment by BRONX on July 31, 2008 at 6:41am
Your Spouse Is NOT Your Enemy…

Have you ever wondered who caused your spouse to walk away? Satan
binds people’s minds. He diverts their attention by instilling
wrong values and priorities into their minds; by suggesting to their
minds selfish reasons to reject the truth. He does this in the
following ways: by contrary suggestions, by argument of others, by
social pressures and distractions, and by a huge arsenal of other
weapons that he has to direct against people’s thinking.

From 1 Timothy 3:6-7, and also 2 Corinthians 2:10-11, we learn that
some of satan’s traps are pride, a bad reputation, lust of the flesh,
rebellion, and an unforgiving attitude. Some or all of these traits
will show up in your wayward spouse.

It is important that we correctly and thoroughly understand satan’s
control over people who are affected by him. Your spouse is not your
enemy; he or she has been deceived by satan. He does this in various
ways and to varying degrees, including: oppression, obsession, and
possession. Here again, almost all of satan’s influence over people
is actually exerted by demons, not by satan personally although it is
still satan’s work and he is responsible for instigating and leading

So how has satan been working in your spouse’s life? One of the most
familiar and successful tactics is temptation. He is repeatedly
referred to as the tempter. He has tempted and deceived your spouse,
and if you are not careful he will do the same to you.

As believers, we must put on the whole armor of God, including
picking up the shield of faith, by which we will quench all the
flaming darts of the wicked one (Ephesians 6:10). We are instructed
to resist satan. We do not have to defeat him, Jesus already did

The enemy has been working in your spouse through disobedience and
rebellion. Wittingly or otherwise, he or she does what satan wants
him or her to do. He knows how to manipulate them through their
personal desires, ideas, prejudices, and ignorance. He is “the ruler
of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who
are disobedient” (Ephesians 2:2 NIV).

Who would have ever thought that your spouse, this same loving spouse
who proposed to you or accepted your proposal and made those vows,
would turn around, after all these years, saying they’ve made a
mistake; telling you they don’t love you anymore, saying they want a
divorce, telling you to get on with your life and that you need to
start dating, saying “I am in love with someone else,” etc. Who
would have ever thought your spouse would be saying these things?
Your spouse said these things because YOUR SPOUSE HAS BEEN DECEIVED

Satan is the wicked one in Matthew 13:19. In verse 23 and 28 he is
identified as the enemy. Bear in mind your spouse is not your enemy.
The enemy is called the adversary, the devil. Jesus called him a
liar and a murderer (John 8:44). He is the arch-deceiver and has
lied to your spouse.

To resist satan, we must “be sober; be vigilant” (1 Pet. 5:8). If we
are careless, we will not successfully resist the devil. Verse 9
urges us to resist him “steadfast in faith.” “The faith” is a
definite, revealed body of truth to be believed and lived. It is the
truth of God’s word.

My friends, if your spouse has walked out on you, this is enough
evidence that he or she is under the control of satan. We have been
praying for them to be set free from this evil. Paul declared that
God had sent him to declare the good news to the nations. “To open
their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the
power of satan unto God, that they may return to their vows and
receive forgiveness of sins.” (Acts 26:18).

This is what we have been praying for. These prodigals are like
drunken men sleeping on the railroad tracks. Suddenly they wake up,
feel the ground vibrating under them, look up and in horror see the
locomotive bearing down on them. Immediately they jump up and dive
out of the way.

It is the same with these wayward spouses. Suddenly, their eyes will
open and they will return to their covenant spouse. Yes, they will
return, because greater is He who is in you, than he that is in the

Finally, in spite of the power and authority that these wayward ones
give satan by yielding their obedience to him, he is a defeated foe!

DO not delay my friends, keep praying, DON’T GIVE UP. Marriages are
being restored. Get yourself ready, prepare yourselves, because
suddenly your spouse will awake from his or her stupor and will
return to you. Because, my friends, no weapon that is formed against
you will prosper. If God be for you, tell me, who can be against
you? Tell me, who?!

Be encouraged

Comment by BRONX on July 30, 2008 at 9:05am
Coming Home -

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12 One dreary morning I was traveling a rural highway in North Florida when an object in yellow appeared ahead on the right shoulder of the road ahead.

I assumed it was a workman, but the object appeared to be moving. A minute later, I passed a man dressed in a rain suit, pedaling a low-slung bicycle without handle bars, and traveling over 30 miles an hour. A mile on up the road, I pulled over and waited for the man to pass so that I could take a picture. When the cyclist approached, he pulled over. He was on his way from Spokane, Washington to Fort Lauderdale to visit his parents and had been on the road for seven weeks.

The man did not have a car following, but traveled alone. Everything needed for his trip was strapped to that strange bicycle. He was not riding for a charity, as many do, but, "I just felt going home this way was something I should do." If I were a stander, praying for the return of a prodigal spouse, this is the photo that I would cut out and post on my refrigerator door. It would remind me of my spouse, making the trip home the slow way, with the stinging rains of doubt, shame, and fear beating upon the face of the one that I love.

The photo would remind me of all the close calls that prodigals endure on the journey home. It would remind me that sometimes coming home takes a long time. His helmet would remind me of the protection of prayer my family needs from me. The small rear-view mirror attached to his helmet would remind me to continue to pray a hedge of protection, because often prodigals look over their shoulder at where they have just come from.

Each time I came near my refrigerator, I would be reminded that others might think the way my spouse is coming home is strange, but that does not matter, because the one I love is on that long, slow, journey home. Several hundred miles away, in Fort Lauderdale, a mom and dad must be thrilled to know that their son is on the way.

I do not know how much they pray, nor how often the son calls home, but I suspect each day they awaken and realize the one they love is another day closer to home. May you do that as well, trusting Jesus Christ to finish what He has started in your life and in the life of your covenant mate. Here is the photo I took of the man on his way home -

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:24-26

God bless,
Comment by BRONX on July 29, 2008 at 9:03pm
greetings in jesus name my dear sister

that was a beautifull testimony,just imagine what a powerfull god we serve isnt it awesome to know the lord.

god bless

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