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I am 4 months away from my weddiing and I just found out that my fiance wants to keep all our finances seperate i.e. bank accounts. Also, he is going to keep his mom as the beneficiary for his retirement. He says he thinks if he names me, i will keep all of it for myself. We have no children, its just me and him.He doesnt understand why Im upset that he wants to name his mom (who just bought a multi million dollar home and tells him she doesnt have any money to help us with our wedding that we are paying for ourseleves.  He says Im trying to make this about money but while yes, thats part of it, Im more upset that he doesnt think that he needs to provide for me. Am I not going to be his family? Im so hurt by some of the things he has said and th fact that he obviously doesnt even kniw me if he thinks I would keep everything of his for myself and away from his family. I dont know if I can marry someone that has that kind of opinion of me. what do I do?

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thanks for your concern and yes, he does know Im on here and does not object to outside opinion,which is why I posted this. We are going to do counseling with our Pastor but will not start for another month. I was not offended at all.
Hi Brittany,
I am concerned that you have to wait another month before commencing councilling with your pastor.
This sort of issue has a tendancy to blow up if it is not dealt with immediately.

Without knowing just how solid your relationship is, it wouldn't be a good thing for either you to stew over this for another 4 weeks.

Perhaps it might be better to source a local christian councillor who could fit you in immediately rather than wait another month to try and sort things out.

Blessings Sister
I hope it all works out for you both.

Hello Brittany -

A marry man should definitely not have his mother as a beneficiary in His bank account even if he was marry to an unbeliever. This is a serious matter and I would suggest you guys do counseling. You should become one in all aspects.

I would also say that I would never marry someone that does not know me enough to think such a thing. Not saying he is not the man God would be please you marry, but obviously you guys need to communicate and reveal your heart's to each other in all the areas of life. To find out if you are truly compatible.

Check out this group: there are a lot of good articles you can print and study/read with your fiancé.
Hi, I been married going on 3 years, it reminds of the scripture that I used at my wedding, Mark 10:6-7, from the beginning of creation God made them male and female, for these reason a man should leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,and the two will become one flesh. Next to the Lord my wife and daughter are the next most precious to my heart, no money can replace them, it seems to me he cares more about his money than anything else, remember No servant can serve two masters, you cant serve God and Money. Another point I like to make is, about 2 years ago , I wasn't working but my wife was, so she was working six days a week, she paid most of the bills, after a few months I started to work, and she was pregnant with our daugther, she hasnt worked over a year now, but I work taking all financial responsibilty, what I'm trying to say its a family unit, when your are married you are bonded together under God's eyes, as a family we read His Word for wisdom and direction in our life, unfortunately his priorities is different from yours, the best thing I can say is pray for guidance and direction where God wants you to go. God Bless, Frank
thank you evryone. I continue to pray and take all of your advice to heart. bless you all
Get with a bible believing pastor immediately for marriage counseling. If you are not in agreement about finances - pray and fast about whether God is leading you to this marriage or not.

Marriage is a dying to self and a unifying in a new life.
Yes I couldn't agree more with the other poster as this is something that needs to be taken care of soon and not left to fester. You would hate to start resenting one another.

You need to be in agreement before you get married.

He may have some other reasons and underlying fears or may just need to be in control of his money. If this is the case you need to get everything out on the table and decide if these are things you can live with or not.

May God bless you and wish you the best and pray for God's intervention.


Don't marry him. Period. You're young, you're beautiful, dump him.

You will find someone who is better, much better!
Wow! That is kind of harsh. What happened to let's communicate and seek God's guidance?


Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. (Matt. 7:6 King James Bible).

Well sis,

The verses you quoted are about sharing the Gospel message. How you can apply that principal to Brittany's situation, I do not follow.

I think I get what you are saying, but that is very harsh, if you are comparing her fiancé to a swine. He is a Christian man who needs to be counsel in this area, but hardly a swine, I would imagine.

ummm....i think that counseling will be good for you guys and if things havent changed, then i would either wait longer or move on. i know you love him but God does want the man to work and support wife and their family. The verse that Frank used says it all. I hope you get things cleared up and i will put you in my prayers tonight dear.


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