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I've been seeking the lord for my Salvation.

I've been struggling with lots of seeking glory from men instead of the glory that comes from God alone and fear of men, unbelief, Pride/ Ego, Lust, Anger, Rebellion because of which, I not able to yeild to God and His righteousness and yeild myself to Christ (John 5:44)

PLEASE pray to Lord Jesus for my Salvation! To save my SOUL. Please ask HIM to remove everything hindering my Salvation and that I may be truly born again by His Grace.

Please pray to HIM that I may truly surrender All of myself to HIM ONLY completely and forever and To let me trust in HIM alone To Save me, for the Lord JESUS to do HIS will completely upon me ,and to give me Eternal life and baptize me with the HOLY SPIRIT . Please pray to HIM to completely cleanse me of all my pride and self righteousness and all my sins and hidden Sins and to give me true repentance and humble me. To help my unbelief and give me true saving faith on Christ alone (Hebrews 12:2) and true repentance from Godly sorrow which leads to salvation and to remove all the worldly sorrow (despair, self pity, unbelief, etc) and cause me to be truly born again in CHRIST. To clear all my doubts & confusions & question and fill me with His truth Only and completely & that I may live by the Truth.

Please pray for the softening of my heart and removal of all indifference, to not let any indifference take over me and that I may always submit to the Holy Spirit and never resist or ignore HIM and harden my heart, and that my heart would yeild and submit to Christ and His Righteousness and that I may be Truly Born Again of the Holy Spirit of God.

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Hello Albin, Have you ever read Ro. 10:1-13?

Romans 10:1-13 (KJV)
1  Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved.
2  For I bear them record that they have a zeal of God, but not according to knowledge.
3  For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.
4  For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth.
5  For Moses describeth the righteousness which is of the law, That the man which doeth those things shall live by them.
6  But the righteousness which is of faith speaketh on this wise, Say not in thine heart, Who shall ascend into heaven? (that is, to bring Christ down from above:)
7  Or, Who shall descend into the deep? (that is, to bring up Christ again from the dead.)
8  But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach;
9  That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
10  For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
11  For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.
12  For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him.
13  For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Also, John 6:37 (KJV)
37  All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. 

Read it and believe it and you will be saved.

Hi Albin,

This is the gospel (also known as 'good news')

We have all sinned and deserve God's judgement.  God, the Father, sent His only Son to satisfy that judgement for those who believe in Him.  Jesus, the Creator and Eternal Son of God, who lived a sinless life, loves us so much that HE died for our sins, taking the punishment that we deserve, was buried, and rose from the dead according to the scriptures.  If you truly believe and trust this in your heart, receiving Jesus alone as you Savior, declaring "Jesus is Lord." you will be saved from judgement and spend eternity with God in heaven.

Do you believe that Jesus died for you?  Would you like to follow Jesus?

This is something you must do for yourself.  

Romans 10:9,10 "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”[e]

Mark 1:15 says "“The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”

If you believe you can pray a prayer.  Please know that words in a prayer cannot saved you, Jesus saves you through faith, but it may just help you by speaking it out loud.  

Heavenly Father;

I've kept you out of my life for far too long.  I confess my sin in full, and I admit that I need You to direct and guide my life.  I repent (turn away from) all my sin and turn to You instead. I agree with You that my sin has separated me from You, and I just can't live that way any longer.  Thank you that you came to earth, suffered and died for me, that you took on the punishment for my sin so that I can be reconciled to You.  Lord Jesus, I believe that You rose again to life on the third day and have defeated sin and death.  Thank you for this gift of eternal life.  I believe Lord.  Help me in my unbelief.  Teach me your ways, give me a hunger and desire to know You and follow You.  Please fill my emptiness with Your Holy Spirit and teach me to be obedient.  Help me to live for you and to understand Your Mercy, Grace and give me Your Peace.  Thank you for Your forgiveness.  I love You Lord.  I pray in Jesus Mighty Name.. The NAME above ALL Names.  Amen.

Psalm 51 is a prayer of repentance as well (from King David).  You should look it up.

Blessings, Carla

Thanks for the response.

I do know the way to Salvation and that it's through Faith alone in CHRIST alone.

But I'm not able to submit myself to Him, Believe in HIM/ cast myself wholly upon HIM.

I've tried to Believe, but I couldn't. My heart doesn't humbly submit to God and there's too much of Pride and unbelief in me.

Actually, I'm an ex-catholic and it's been more than an year since God started working in my life and opened my eyes to the Truth.

And after some time I started knowing the Truth, I prayed to God to save me and that I submit myself to Him and thought that I was Saved. But after dwelling in this deception for a few months, God showed me that I wasn't saved and needed to be truly born again.
There was no regeneration of the Holy Spirit and so my decision to follow God was just a decision of 'the flesh'.

God then started showing me the depravity of my heart.

And so I've been seeking the Lord for my Salvation for about 6 months.


what do you know about spiritual warfare?  

We all have backslides.  We are human.  Just keep trusting and seeking the LORD and he will never forsake you!

Hi Albin;

It's been just over a week since you posted this discussion.  How are you?

I feel distressed.
My heart feels full of unbelief and hardness, against God.
I'm really struggling to humble myself and to Trust and Rest in Him.

Hi Albin,

I'm sorry to hear that, I really do know how lonely and depressing it is to feel that way.  It's worse when you know God's real but can't seem to find peace and trust in your relationship with Him.

Please rest assured that He isn't the One who leaves... we are.  HE is unmoving, forever faithful, the essence of Love, always drawing us to Himself. 

You mentioned you are having a hard time humbling yourself.  Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.  God leads us to put other people before ourselves and think of others first.  

I'm assuming that you understand that to be 'born again' doesn't mean to be more religious or follow certain religious traditions, following rules etc... that's the thing you have escaped from in the Catholic Church.

Being born again means to have intimate fellowship with Jesus, the lover of your soul, your Redeemer, Saviour and Lord.  Jesus is the only One who gets to say how we live.  Do you agree with that?  Do you agree with Him about sin?  

Sin means that we have missed the mark... we all fall short of God's perfect standard.  Keeping God's law is impossible for us.  No one can do it.  God's command is for us to be perfect.  Since we can't do that we needed someone who can--- and Has.  That's where Jesus Christ comes in to the picture.  He is the spotless Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world... BUT, HE's looking only for willing hearts, HE will never force us.  We show we are willing when we repent and believe the gospel (His death, burial and resurrection).

Since Jesus lives, we also live.

We cannot inherit this new birth by being born into a Christian family or having Christian parents.  We cannot work our way to God by being good enough.  We cannot even doing it by simply saying "I'm going to try my very best to do the right things all the time"

The problem with all of us is on the inside... it's not anything external.   Being born again is a supernatural act of God.  It's truly a miracle.  The Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, He won't leave us comfortable in it, then He regenerates us and that's when we're born again.  It all begins when we truly repent of our sin and believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Christ.

First we have to hear the Word of God. “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). That is the first step. “It pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe” (1 Corinthians 1:21). It sounds foolish that words from a Bible have the power to penetrate our hearts and change our lives, but they do, because they are God’s holy words.

Then there is the work of the Holy Spirit. He convicts: “And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment” (John 16:8). He changes us. He changes our wills, our affections, our objectives for living, our disposition. He gives us a new purpose and new goals. “Old things pass away, and everything becomes new” (Cf. 2 Corinthians 5:17). Then He indwells us: “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” Does God the Holy Spirit live in you?

Jesus Christ says that we must be born again. How do we become born again? By repenting of sin. That means we are willing to change our way of living. We say to God, “I’m a sinner, and I’m sorry.” It’s simple and childlike. Then by faith we receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Master and Savior. We are willing to follow Him in a new life of obedience, in which the Holy Spirit helps us as we read the Bible and pray and witness.

If there is a doubt in your mind about whether you have been born again, I hope you will settle it now, because the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:2, “Now is the accepted time; … [today] is the day of salvation.”

When I tried to submit to God, my heart was so repellent against God, like the like sides of magnets repelling away from each other.

Like, if you have to cross over a bridge, a very strong one. And if there is a very deep abyss/ pit, just looking down makes you faint, that you would not even look down. And the ground beside you is falling apart and soon the ground you're standing on will also fall off, and you'll go down.
Even though you know the bridge is strong and can hold you, but still you're heart is so scared to make even the first step. You want to walk over that bridge, but the fear in you're heart is like chains.
You need to convince yourself, your heart to make that leap of Faith.
That's what I'm not wrong do.
I feel such a mixture of fear, unbelief, even Pride, not wanting to submit to God.

Also, there is one problem of subtle self righteousness, which is so common amongst people who profess to be Christians.
There are many people who subtly trust in themselves, rather than in Christ. I heard this sermon by Paul Washer, and he mentioned in this problem which I was worried about, and I learnt that many people have this. Listen to this video from 1:09:50 to 1:10:60 :

This is a very common problem as it seems and widespread. This is why I guess much of the seekers are not able to have a simple Faith and keep looking at their Faith, because they fear lest they may also be deluded under this subtle self righteousness.

The biggest discouragements that I get is the people who sought God but never found Him and all I see is me also becoming one of them. It really feels like after reading the that God was interested in them at all. They had a zeal to for eternal Life, but eventually lost it and died in that state.
John Bunyan also felt the tempter say to him:
[“You are very thirsty for mercy, but I will cool you; this frame of mind will not last forever. Many others have thirsted as you do, but I have quenched their zeal.”
“Though you try to be cautious,” said Satan, “I will be too difficult for you; I will cool you without you realizing it – by degrees, little by little. What do I care,” he said, “if it takes seven years to chill your heart if I can do it at last? Continual rocking will lull a crying child asleep. Though I must work at it, I will accomplish my goal. Though you are burning hot at present, if I can pull you from this fire, I will have you cold before too long.”
and then this resulted , he said : "Over time the great stirring in my soul became less intense, as I did not even much realize the remembrance of the evil of sin, the worth of heaven, and the need I had of the blood of Christ to cleanse me"]
But still after all this, Bunyan was fine because God was with him and had warned him of such things would happen.

The reason I think is because of Pride or not wanting to submit to God.
Admitting and truly acknowledging my fault and guilts for my sin from my heart, and hence truly acknowledging my need for Christ". And that would automatically put all end to my self righteousness, Pride,Ego, Self Reliance and all that.
"All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need for Him" - Joseph Hart

This quote from Spurgeon, also goes in line:
"For unless you are willing to confess that God may justly damn you, God will never Save you".

Whenever I try to confess and Repent of my sins, There's complete worldly sorrow. And whenever I pray to God, automatically, Self- Pity shows up and I start looking at myself as cute innocent little child, asking God to save me, and hence end up using self pity as an excuse to be saved instead of JESUS' SACRIFICE. And I do the same with my convictions, reformations, etc. I keep looking to and trusting them instead of JESUS.

I really love this quote you posted "All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need for Him" - Joseph Hart

There is so much encouragement in those few words.  Do you see it?

I just want to try to encourage you with a few thoughts:

~Pride is the root of the problem.  For sure.  It started in the garden with Adam and Eve and persists with all humanity.

~You don't need to clean yourself up or be perfect to come to Christ, He'll do that.  Come as you are.  If you were able to clean yourself up before approaching Him you wouldn't need a Saviour.

~ It's pretty normal to feel self-pity.  You can be assured He's working in you when He shows you even that-- as He wants to cleanse that from you (us) as well.  None of us are cute innocent children, but when we surrender to the KING of Kings we are powerful warriors born again In Christ.  We are His children.  He equips us as we need to be equipped.

~ This next point may sound harsh... but for those who know me I'm not known for beating around the bush.  You seem to be giving satan more power that Jesus.  Listen up!!  satan is a created being.  Sure he has power over people who aren't IN Christ, but he has nothing on God's children.  It doesn't mean he won't try to get to you.. of course he will.  he hates Jesus Christ and wants to rule over everything and everyone.  I asked you earlier what do you know about Spiritual Warfare, you haven't answered me yet.  How come?  Everything you're saying sounds like an excuse to not come to him.  

Isaiah 40

28Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will never grow faint or weary;

His understanding is beyond searching out.

29He gives power to the faint

and increases the strength of the weak.

30Even the youths may faint and grow weary,

and young men stumble and fall.

31But those who wait upon the LORD

will renew their strength;

they will mount up with wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary;

they will walk and not faint."

Albin, I leave you with this question:  What have you got to lose if you surrender to Christ?

I lost many things when I came to Christ...Here are some of the things: I lost anxiety, idolatry, feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, fear, hopelessness, selfishness, wrong motives, wrong direction, I was lost--always searching for belonging, praise, striving to be 'good enough', I used to be racist, God healed me from that and delivered me from hate. 

God gave me a love for all people.

What did I gain?  Jesus! -- and all the fullness and beauty that is in Him.  Specifically, this plays out and looks like things like purpose, knowing I am loved and belong, peace, joy (even in the midst of great difficulties) My thirst has been quenched, I'm completely satisfied In Him.  I am a living walking breathing overwhelming testament to His goodness, forgiveness, faithfulness, mercy and love.

I don't care for stories or excuses as to why someone can't come to Christ, because it's so foreign to me that anybody could possibly resist Him.  I'm not sympathetic to pride or excuses.

satan has no power over Christ, stop living and believing like he does.

This devotion is from Oswald Chambers...  I get them in my email daily.  This is todays:

Inferior Misgivings About Jesus

Sir, Thou hast nothing to draw with.  JOHN 4:11

“I am impressed with the wonder of what God says, but He cannot expect me really to live it out in the details of my life!” When it comes to facing Jesus Christ on His own merits, our attitude is one of pious superiority – “Your ideals are high and they impress us, but in touch with actual things, it cannot be done.” Each of us thinks about Jesus in this way in some particular. These misgivings about Jesus start from the amused questions put to us when we talk of our transactions with God – “Where are you going to get your money from? How are you going to be looked after?” Or they start from ourselves when we tell Jesus that our case is a bit too hard for Him. “It is all very well to say ‘Trust in the Lord,’ but a man must live, and Jesus has nothing to draw with – nothing whereby to give us these things.” Beware of the pious fraud in you which says – “I have no misgivings about Jesus, only about myself.” None of us ever had misgivings about ourselves; we know exactly what we cannot do, but we do have misgivings about Jesus. We are rather hurt at the idea that He can do what we cannot.

My misgivings arise from the fact that I ransack my own person to find out how He will be able to do it. My questions spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, let me bring them to the light and confess them – “Lord, I have had misgivings about Thee, I have not believed in Thy wits apart from my own; I have not believed in Thine almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it.” 

~My Utmost for His Highest Classic Edition, Oswald Chambers


Jesus Christ can afford to be misunderstood; we cannot.

Our weakness lies in always wanting to vindicate ourselves.

from The Place of Help, 1051 L

synonyms for vindicate:  absolve, acquit, defend, disprove, justify, refute, substantiate, advocate, uphold, protect, excuse, clear, rationalize, whitewash.  You get the idea.

Actually, I felt angry, irritated about the fourth point that you wrote, not because you wrote anything wrong, but because it was right .
"You seem to be giving satan more power that Jesus"
I can't seem to help it,all the Ego, unbelief, anger, and all that. After I was distressed after reading when you said-"What have you got to lose if you surrender to Christ?"
And especially- "it's so foreign to me that anybody could possibly resist Him."
I also want to be able to say that.

Whenever I hear testimonies, I feel very distanced from God and feel like he has no interest in saving me.
D.L. Moody says something about Love "If I could only make people understand the real meaning of the words of the apostle John – God is love – I would take that single text and go up and down the world proclaiming this glorious truth. If you can convince someone that you love him, you have won his heart. If we can convince people to believe that God loves them, we would find them crowding into the kingdom of heaven. The trouble is that people think God hates them, and so they are constantly running from Him."
And this is what my heart doesn't really accept.
Cuz, When I tried to submit to Him, I felt Roman 8:7 very much.
"For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot"
I feel it's ultimately because of that feeling that God is not for me, not willing to Save me or loves me. You know the kind of Trust that you have when you just bank your EVERYTHING, let loose it All on someone.

I'm so skeptical and so rebellious against God. My heart's always in rebellion with God. Like, I even find myself just fuming against God in Anger. Hardly an hour passes, when I don't have a blasphemous thought in my heart, they've become so common like breathing.
I can hardly remember a day not being in rebellion against God. I can't tell how Evil my thoughts get against God.

And because of all this, I'm not able to look at salvation as Grace but as if God owes it to me and so humility, humbly submitting myself to GOD, putting my Faith in CHRIST, seems impossible.


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