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Forgive but stay away is it so ?
The Bible says we need to forgive others and forget their Sins what if you can truly forgive a person, but not want to associate with them anymore ??? Does it work ??
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on
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Sathish,
First of all, we cannot truly by choice simply forget what has happened to us, We can forgive, but history cannot be changed on our part. It happened, yet we do not have to dwell on it. Putting it out of mind is the best we can do and even then there is no guarantee that it will not surface from time to time.
Whether we can forgive and not associate really depends on the circumstance and the person we are forgiving. If someone broke into my house and stole all my possessions I would forgive them before God and would still expect that there are physical ramifications for their action after they get arrested. If a friend betrayed me I would forgive them, but whether there is reconciliation is another story. They may not want to reconcile and depending on the thing that went wrong I may not be able to trust them at this time, even though I have forgiven them. An example, if my brother had access to my bank account and he stole $100, 000 (other than he must have gotten into the wrong account if it had a $100,000 ... little humor :-) I can forgive him, be around him, but I would not give him access to my account, at least not without something proving to me that he can be trusted.
Also, most relationships are developed and maintained around affinities, things we have in common. One may hang out with a coworker because they have work in common, but find that outside of work they have nothing in common. Family often hangs out together because of the family tie, but often have nothing in common beyond that. Even with our church family, we often have church in common, but many times do not hang out together outside of church. The things we do day to day are vastly different. We can be brothers in Christ, but not hang out. We can work for the Lord together and yet not hang out. With "affinity" in mind after we have a situation that strains that relationship both people are changed by it. The things that held the relationship together may not be strong enough to keep them together after a storm.
Lastly, sometimes reconciliation can take a brief amount of time or a lifetime. The situation and people involved will dictate the outcome. If we were all just like Jesus it would be different, but we are on a journey growing in faith and I trust becoming more like Jesus.
Lord Bless,
LT
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Hahaha ... if you will gladly transfer $99,999.99 to my account I will gladly make it happen :-)
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That's what is currently in my I account. I can handle that part :-)
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Grace,
Forgiveness, trust and restoration are different aspects. If I forgive as I am commanded that does not mean I instantly trust, because trust is earned and can be lost. Forgiveness is the key, but not the only step. It is the first step.
When someone wrongs me, sins against me, I am to forgive them before God as Jesus did from the cross when He asked the Father to forgive them (Note He was not extending forgiveness unto salvation, but rather release of guilt for their actions against Him in this particular situation). There was not reconciliation as they proceeded to crucify Him. Thus, we forgive even if the other person is not asking or seeking forgiveness. As long as they are not seeking forgiveness, even though we forgave them before Father God, there can be no reconciliation. We can attempt to bridge the gap, but they must also be a player in the reconciliation. If one day they come and ask for forgiveness extending it to them is easy, because we already turned it over to Father God and have been released of the bondage associated with it. You see, one of the great aspects of forgiveness is not the releasing of the other person of their guilt, though that is included, it is our being released from bondage to that event that occurred.
Therefore there can be forgiveness without reconciliation or trust, forgiveness with reconciliation and without trust, and forgiveness with reconciliation and trust over time. Our desire is forgiveness, reconciliation and trust, but levels 2 and 3 may not be achieved for various reasons outside our control.
In Corrie Ten Boom's testimony (I did not read your article, but going from what I know about her and what you posted below) she forgave the guard. Forgiveness was extended and he received. She would have been better served if she would have forgiven them before Father God before they asked and then when they ask it is easy to extend that which you have already dealt with. Her story shows she still carried the anger inside until that day. What about reconciliation? He was no longer her guard, thus they did not reconcile but start fresh, because reconcile implies to a degree a return to what was. Though she forgave and there was a new start that does not mean she trusted him at that moment, as trust is earned.
Lord Bless,
LT
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