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Sex before marriage -- 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from Sexual immorality"
We all aren't perfect, I know that many of us are born again believers, or grew up in church and lost our way, till now. I am still working on it. I am new to this so if I am too detailed, or graphic or upset someone, please forgive me. This should be the place that I can get the answers I need without judgment.
1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from Sexual immorality"
My boyfriend and I have been together 4 months. I grew up in church, been married, divorced (for legit reasons) and now, at the age of 23 am looking to get closer to God and get my life right. He was a virgin when we got together and we were sexually active. I know that was a horrible thing of me, but I was living in sin. It doesn't help that though we are in a monogamous relationship, when single and in my past, I have used sex for pleasure, rebounds, all those WRONG THINGS and he knows this. It has given him the perception that I won't last a month, I cannot go without sex or that it is just phase I am going through. He actually advanced sex with me because my past intimidated him, and he thought I would leave him if he didn't ( NOT TRUE! I actually admired it ) I’ve also used sex because I’ve been made to feel that was the only way I’d be able to keep certain relationships. I was right about that. The thing is the relationships like that are not worth it at all. I have began to realize that outside of sex, and with sin, what "relationship" is left?
Here is the problem. In the last 6 months that I have been set on rededicating my life. I have found less and less interest in sex and more disgust. Not just with him, but in general. I know that the closer I get with God, the more I recognize sin. I have also found it to be a distraction from being where I want to be with my faith. Last night I finally told him that I want to cut sex out and just work on other parts of our relationship.
He is not a Christian, even though his mother went, he never received the Word. I have tried to get him to come to church, read with me and pray, but it is a slow process, with many deceiving friends. He begins to try and then falls away at their misconceptions. I just need guidance on the CHRISTIAN approach to this, how to answer it to him when he continues to ask for understanding of why God says it is for MARRIED people, and support for myself to TRULY change my lifestyle in a Godly way.
1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from Sexual immorality"
My boyfriend and I have been together 4 months. I grew up in church, been married, divorced (for legit reasons) and now, at the age of 23 am looking to get closer to God and get my life right. He was a virgin when we got together and we were sexually active. I know that was a horrible thing of me, but I was living in sin. It doesn't help that though we are in a monogamous relationship, when single and in my past, I have used sex for pleasure, rebounds, all those WRONG THINGS and he knows this. It has given him the perception that I won't last a month, I cannot go without sex or that it is just phase I am going through. He actually advanced sex with me because my past intimidated him, and he thought I would leave him if he didn't ( NOT TRUE! I actually admired it ) I’ve also used sex because I’ve been made to feel that was the only way I’d be able to keep certain relationships. I was right about that. The thing is the relationships like that are not worth it at all. I have began to realize that outside of sex, and with sin, what "relationship" is left?
Here is the problem. In the last 6 months that I have been set on rededicating my life. I have found less and less interest in sex and more disgust. Not just with him, but in general. I know that the closer I get with God, the more I recognize sin. I have also found it to be a distraction from being where I want to be with my faith. Last night I finally told him that I want to cut sex out and just work on other parts of our relationship.
He is not a Christian, even though his mother went, he never received the Word. I have tried to get him to come to church, read with me and pray, but it is a slow process, with many deceiving friends. He begins to try and then falls away at their misconceptions. I just need guidance on the CHRISTIAN approach to this, how to answer it to him when he continues to ask for understanding of why God says it is for MARRIED people, and support for myself to TRULY change my lifestyle in a Godly way.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on
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Robin,
God will bless you for your choice of choosing Him and His way.
Praying for you,
LT
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Permalink Reply by Chizoba on
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Beloved Robin, be strong and glad for you have made the right choice. I remember what happened in the gospel of John 6:66-68, when many went back and walked no more with christ, what you did is similar to Peter's reply to Christ. It gives me joy to see persons like you. May the lord see you through.
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Permalink Reply by Erin L. Blanke on
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Dear little sister in Christ, I promise that I will reply much more in detail to your message but for now I have to go to work. Just remember that God has a plan for your life. The bible says be not equally yoked with unbelivers. That means do not be even with someone that is not a christian. In case your unaware of what a yoke is, picture the oxen that used to carry cargo, people and so on. There were usually two of them and in the middle of them while walking they had a device on that would keep them walking evenly... That device was a yoke. Do not be equally yoked, dont be decived by satan either. God loves you, Satan would love to destroy you. For any guidance you can come to my little page and request to chat with me or something. We all sin and fall short of the glory of god... I love you, The Lord loves you... And what God puts together let no man put assunder...
Love God and Erin
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My dear sister in Christ, We honey are two very similar creatures. I have been waiting for a while, and sometimes it does grow tiring but we must know that in the end it is very worth it. Dont put a time limit on God, sometimes our temporary pleasures are a very memorable mistake. There is a time and a place and your purpose is in Gods hands. Let me explain something that touched my heart that you wrote about your boyfriend. God is not something that you try... It is something that you do, and a lot of the time is very very hard. If your boyfriend is not ready for God and to jump in with both feet, you can not change his heart or his mind. God is something that is just done. You don't try to be a Christian do you? You are one... Galatians 6:9 Says: Be not weary in well doing for in due season you shall reap if you faint not.." Dont give up sister, don't give up on yourself and don't give up on the Lord. Let him show you where He wants you. God will put the man in your life that he knows you deserve and that He has planned on you having. Let me share a story with you that my mother shared with me. We are all carnal people, born into sin. I have to share this on another page because it wont all fit on this one.
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This is the second one... So my mother shared with me this story... You meet someone and you become involved intimately with them at that point that you give part of your heart to them as you also give your body to them. So then you meet mr. wrong number 2 and the same thing happens, and you give part of your heart to them. Each person you give part of your heart to that by time Mr. Right finally comes along you have nothing left to give him but what you have already given away in the past. However, I understand where your at. I have dated several people but now I belong to the Lord, I am sold on him. I even wear a wedding band because I took a vow to Jesus to never be with someone sexually again until it is the person He intended for me. Then when I'm older and have children I will give them this wedding band. I will tell them why I did wear it and hope that they too will understand the story that my mother shared with me. I love you sis and I'm here for you.
Love From Above,
Love God and Erin
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Permalink Reply by SavedYouzer on
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Hey Robin, Sometimes its good to get advice from someone who is more on your "generational level". Im 24 years old and mine and your story are almost identical. When I say identical, I mean from the part where you were married and divorced to, where you stand now in your relationship. i have been through the exact same thing! I dont want to get in to it, but I will share some things with you on my journey with the Lord. Please feel free to contact me if you want to chat about my "past". For now I focus on what I have been doing "future wise". (But WOW it was as if I was reading my own story on your blog!) So lets start and hopefully the words I speak are truly inspired by The Holy Sprit - Amen
Lets start by readind Mathew 10:37-39 Do you truly understand what Jesus himself is saying in this scripture? Dont let your boyfriend make you choose between him and The Word! Next topic Fornication... Mathew 15:19, Mark 7:21,
2 Corinthians 12:21, and the most important to remember is 1 Corinthians 6:9
Fornication is a big problem with many young Christians such as ourselves. I can tell you something I have learned, and The Lord has revealed to me, and reading through your Blog I can sense the Holy Spirit is revealing to you Fornication is wrong PERIOD! That is why you have been feeling less interested. Can I share a secret with you, that someone revealed to me that has truly helped me in my walk with God? How is you having sex with your partner glorifying God? Actually the Bible teaches us that when you have sex with someone under " fornication or adultery" you actually sin against The Spirit.
Satan takes full advantage of this. Why do you think the porno industry is the #1 industry on the internet? Sorry let me try to keep on track... As far as your past... You are no longer that person, and dont let anyone trick or decieve you into throwing the past in your face! The Bible teaches us you are completely cleansed of that under the blood of Christ! So dont you Dare let anyone try to use that as a tool against you! The Lord has forgiven you of those things! Satan however wants you to believe that you are that same old person, and he will use others to try and lie to you, to make you feel as if that what your boyfriend is saying to you is true. The Bible says "we are new creatures in Christ! Satan you are a liar and I command you in The Name of Jesus to flee from Robin with your attacks, assumptions and insinuations! I rebuke you SATAN!!! ( sorry Robin, I needed to expose Satan!) Father continue to guide Robin, through The Holy Spirit as I see you have been doing, but give her POWER to discern when Satan is plotting against her!... Moving on Robin I right now myself, have asked my girlfriend if we can stop having sex so we can serve The Lord together. Its now been 2-3 months, we were even living together and I asked her to move out, which Thank The Lord we were able to arrange and come to an agreement. Guess what we are still together not living in sin not fornicating , and the Lord has revealed even more to me by being obedient to him. I urge you... No, I beg you to continue serving the Lord the way you have. Stand strong against the temptations of Satan! He will try everything to break your relationship with God, You might even lose your boyfriend, but you know what? Having The Lord in your life is worth more than anyone or anything I PROMISE! I guarantee that if your boyfriend doesnt agree (he might even rebel and threaten to leave) the Lord will supply you with a companion, that will help lift you in your walk with The Lord. Lastly I remind you of Paul where he says... everyday I kill my flesh...
Your Flesh wants to make your boyfriend happy and give in to him and his desires. Your flesh wants to remind you of your past, saying "but Robin this is who you are , dont you remember"? ( I even stopped kissing my girlfriend on the lips! Seems kind of extreme No? But I aked The Lord how am i glorifying you by doing that? He responded to me through the Holy Spirit... Your not! Is she your wife to be exchanging fluids through your mouth? Would you walk up to a stranger and kiss them on the lips? If she is not your wife then she is a stranger period!!!) Robin live in the Spirit as Paul urges us to all do. How is you not "fornicating" with your boyfriend glorifying God? More than you probably even realize!!! God Bless you Robin and if you need any more help on this topic, or you just want someone to help lift you up, feel free to respond back or leave a message. Robin Keep up the Good Work! The Lord sees everything you are doing for Him! He will reward you spiritually, for giving up something yor flesh desired! Live in The Spirit! Live in The Spirit! Live in The Spirit! God Bless you ROBIN! I Thank everyone for giving Robin those great responses of encouragement!
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I also urge all of you to read a blog posted by: Bob (Today)
Exposing The Traps Of Satan!
It is a great and well put together article God Bless you ALL!
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Hi Robin, I am a 54 year old Christian virgin. I also expected that one day I would meet "Ms Right," and would marry and have children. I accepted Christ when I was 19. Life seems to have slipped by and I do not believe I have met "Ms Right yet. I have accepted the possibility that God intends for me never to marry or have children, and the possibility I made poor decisions resulting in my remaining single. Regardless, I try to remain content, whether single or not. Remaining chaste until and unless married was always my choice, and I believe it was the right choice especially as a Christian. A close Christian friend made a different choice and divorced after 11 years of a very troubled marriage. Now he struggles to raise his 12 year old daughter. Loss of virginity should never end ones effort to live a chaste life until married. God will give you the wisdom and strength to so do, if you allow Him to.
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Permalink Reply by RoxChelseaGilmore on
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Can you explain to me what is sex??? the wrong way and the right way?????/
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Robin, continue to be blessed by God our father and do what is right. Do those things that are pleasing to God. Be obedient unto him. I was in relationships that was basicly based on sex. After the relationships would end, I would be left feeling horrible. I have used sex also and I regret it. I wish I would have waited until I was married. It is best to do things God's way. You will live a much a happier life also, experience peace in your life because you are obeying our Father. When God tell us in his Word to flee sexual immorality, it is to help us. If your boyfriend does not support you and your decision on not having sex, then he is not the one for you. Choose God and his way of doing things, you will be happier and peaceful in your life. God Comes First!!!!
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But why do non christians do sex why do they talk about it in the wrong way and why do they swear and say God`s Name in Vain ???????
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Permalink Reply by Gayla on
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Every now and then we see someone in the limelight, like a big league ball player, or someone else that God has elevated, stand up for not having sex before marriage, there must be tremendous pressure on them, however, some remain faithful, and pure, for the one that they intend to spend their life with. When this happens, it causes them to shine....like the sun. And that is what God desires for each of us, that we be set apart and pure for his Kingdom. He is coming for a bride, without spot or blemish, and to me, that says sinless....
I think that is the challenge that is there for each of us, as we accept Christ as Lord and Savior, to actually be willing and able to follow him all the way, according to his word, his will and his way.
We are swimming upstream, and going against the flow, but, with the Holy Spirit within, we can do it, or he would not have asked us to become overcomers, and set apart, for his use.
The world cannot understand, why anyone would want to do this, however, as more and more homes, are broken up, by sin, and the resulting pain that it always brings, Gods word begins to make more and more sense to a lost and dying world.
May God give you the strength to stand firm for him, in him and thru him. God bless.....
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