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And who said Christians can't be brokenhearted?

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

So if we tell someone brokenhearted and crushed in spirit that they don't have enough faith or they're not trusting God or they need to think positive thoughts, etc., are we speaking what God would have us speak or what we believe is the right answer?

I think the world needs to listen more than give advice because we stink on the compassionate side.

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Anyone can have a broken heart, whether saved or not saved.

I think that NONE of us here wants to see others in pain when something is not working out. But many don't know how to respond. It's hard to find the right words or to know what to say and what not to say. I've read somewhere that the word comfort has roots in an old French word called "confort" which means be strong with. I think, in  my own experience, when I've felt so weakened, I would turn to others wanting comfort but failing to realize that they can't completely carry my burden for me but they can make my burden half as heavy. I can't be strong for another person either but I can be strong with them. I learned something recently -- that as long as I'm not giving up, then people are more willing to help me. No one can do it for me but they can be strong with me and that makes things a little easier on me.

I'm probably not making any sense here.

You want to hear words that come from someone's own heart and not cliches and platitudes. You want to be heard and you want people to validate your feelings and you don't want to be preached at. You just want others to genuinely care and there's nothing wrong with wanting that. Not everyone is going to care. But a few do care.

Well actually, I'm wanting people to see that just because another isn't at the same place you are, or because what works for you doesn't work for them, we shouldn't then shut them out and act like they're hard-headed or demonically possessed, but instead hold their hand and just be there with them.  Tell them we don't understand it, it worked for us, but maybe they have different issues to deal with and they will just keep praying and if you need an ear...here I am.  Sometimes we just need to be ears.  And I say that with a big recognition that I'm usually all mouth.

That's OK with me. Sometimes I need all mouth :) You know it's hard for me to talk.

You mean whisper?  You talk so low I often overrun ya with my rambling.  LOL

Lol. I don't mean hard for me to get a word in edgewise when talking to you. I mean a lot of the time when I listen to you, it helps me.

How can we claim to know God and be his children when we can't show compassion to others, especially those who are hurting, doubting, anxious, troubled or without hope?  We can't serve God when we fail to share his love, charity, mercy and compassion with his children.  Jesus sums it up nicely for us in the Sermon on the Mount and the Beatitudes.

Every time we love the unlovable, every time we feed the hungry, every time we care for the sick and lonely, every time we stand up for the poor, we are bearers of the light of Christ. Every time we insist on compassion, every time we demand justice for the oppressed, every time we reach out to the lost and left out, we are insisting that the light has come and the darkness can’t overcome it. 

As for what we say, Paul tells us: "Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them" (Ephesians 4:9).  "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up" (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Thank you Colby.  That is exactly what I'm getting at.  But most of the time, if we're doubting, we're told then you haven't learned to trust God, you haven't learned to let go, you need to die to self....leaving us feeling like we're doing something wrong, that we simply don't have what it takes.  Instead of being told...we ALL doubt, but hang in and hang on and it'll get better even if you can't see that right now.

If we feel we have no hope, we're told Jesus is our hope and He doesn't want us depressed and even some in my church will say you just bring other Christians down, and you're told that you're depressed because you won't stop worrying and let God handle it.  But that isn't true either.  I've turned many things over to God, yet He doesn't handle it, because I can't see how He will ultimately handle it and only know that I'M living in it, it's affecting my peace and joy and my life.  I have to wade through the storm.  And sometimes I just want someone to wade with me and hold my hand like Jesus did for His disciples, or when Peter began to sink and He lifted him back up from the water.  I want to FEEL someone understands and is reaching out instead of feeling as if I'm hindering their joy.  I thought our joy was supposed to come in helping people who needed us?  Seems we're more selfish than we want to let on.

I get anxious, I get troubled, worried, fearful.  And sorry to say, but I think a lot of people who claim I'm not trusting God are people who likely have the same fears at times but will never admit to having them, and that's sad really.

>>If God is close to the brokenhearted why are we Christians not?

 

We are. There is no other people so compassionate and/or more loving than the body of Christ. Billions of testimonies throughout history of how blessed people have been because of the unconditional love and compassion they have experience by Spirit filled Christians.

 

Do WE fail at it sometimes, yep, we do, but no one loves better than a person in love with the King of kings and Lord of lords. Our Jesus!

The problem with that is those testimonies are few in relation to the numbers in our churches.  How many churches today actually help their congregation members not to lose their home, have their electric shut off, put food on the table, get a ride to the doctor, etc.?  I most churches I've seen, we're focused more on decorating the church to appeal to bring in more members to bring in more money and we're too busy with out own lives to stop and give another a ride.  I know we're all guilty of it, me included.  But it seems to be a rampant attitude in our churches these days. 

This will not be a popular answer, but how many are dedicated to the congregation where they now attend? How many in need stay in the church after they have been helped? Those are questions that cannot really be answered, but I can tell you this much. The ministries I have been involved with have helped the needy in our midst. A good portion of those are very appreciative of the love and care. There is also a good number who once helped bolt never to be seen again. Some wait until they have been helped over and over until we come to a point where nothing is changing and the help is cut back after other options have been given to them that they do not follow up with or follow through with thos options. Then they bolt because the well ran dry. I recently had this happen and on the way out the person called me an ungodly son of satan.etc...etc...etc. Thus, there are two sides to this coin and often the congregation is not privy to the behind the scenes (protecting the persons privacy) workings that are often done in the person's best interest. With that said it is safe to say some churches (so called churches simply) do not care or have their focus on the wrong things.

 

Lord Bless,

LT

Yes, there are two sides.  But the side I'm sitting on, there are several who need help spiritually, financially, etc. and they don't get it.  Many have left our church over hurts.  Before I thought the same, I don't know the whole answer.  But now I see it from this side.  I've been under a major struggle of stress.  Not one person offers to go sit with you if you're in the hospital, offers to sit with you through anything.  No one calls to see how you're doing.  If you're struggling, it's sink or swim, so I came online to find the help I needed spiritually cause I don't get it in my church.  I get the sermons and messages, but there's no one reaching out to those who have questions or just a need to talk.  Everyone is too busy trying to reach the hurting in the community that they're forsaking the hurting in their pews.  You can sit next to people every day in church, they know you're hurting, see you've been crying, and they keep a distance. 

 

I know some who have been so hurt that they spent a week in the hospital and the pastor, no one on the pastor's counsel, none of the church leadership even called to see how they were, much less stopped by.  I don't see that as being in the best interest of feeding the flock.

 

But yes, I have seen one who also goes repeatedly asking for help and the church helps.  They don't pay tithes.  I understand that person is hurting too, but they have to realize if they're not supporting the church, they cannot get upset if the church stops helping them, which it finally did.  But that's not the situation I'm seeing lately.

 

Your answer is no more popular than mine.  Sometimes it's rotten both ways.

Not all churches are as you are experiencing. Could it be that you may be in the wrong church? No need to reply, simply posing a food for thought.

The simple church motto is

Love God.

Love others.

Serve your community.

The church is supposed to be a hospital for the hurting among other things.

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