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I could have sworn that I accepted Jesus Christ into my life; I mean, I know I confessed with my mouth and believed in my heart. So, right then, the holy spirit should have entered my life, right? I should have access to the father now, right? I am lying in my bed right now, so irritated and flustered with the whole thought that God just won't acknowledge me. Why do I think this? Because ever since I got saved, the only Godly experience I've witnessed is the imprinting of God's laws on my heart and mind; meaning before, during or after I mess up, I am quick to know about it from my conscious. I have never witnessed what the Bible says I am supposed to witness, or what other Christians say that experience, i.e. joy, peace, deliverance, comfort, God's presence with them, and a series of other things that I hear about. I feel like the exact same person I was before I got saved, other than a few minor things. It says in the Bible, that when you are saved, you will no longer want to do the things that you used to do. Well, I still want to party and have a good time; I still want commit adultery and get drunk and carry on. I try so hard to live a live that is pleasing to God, and here lately, I have been trying to devote more and more time to him via prayer and Bible reading; but the only thing I feel is emptiness. That is all I have ever felt: emptiness. Isn't the Holy Spirit supposed to be a comforter and a re assurance of one's faith? Is the spirit within me just choosing to ignore me, lol? I have back slidden a lot in my faith since I was a young kid, but is God just flat out ignoring me now? Sometimes I seriously sit down and wonder if I was one of the one's predestined for eternal death. Honestly, if I weren't so worried about eternal death, then I wouldn't be so worried about this whole issue to begin with, I know that sounds selfish, but I am truly hurting here. I am well off, and that is the truth; I have everything I need, but I would sell it all if God told me too. All the things I have can vanish into thin air, if God would just talk to me and reassure me. Instead, he just leaves me here, balling my eyes out, wondering why he won't acknowledge my prayers or words. I just want God, nothing else. So what am I doing wrong? Where is God?????

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Comment by brandon soileau on July 31, 2011 at 7:08pm
That is some pretty sound advice, and I am ready to put into effect the praying and listening to God. Char, I am so greatful for your input, as well as others; but I truly feel in tune with you because I think we have or had a lot of the same spiritual struggles. Thank you for being a friend.
Comment by a servant (Chris) on July 31, 2011 at 7:06pm

Brandon

     It was your comment eariler that got me here.  I would just like to say Hope is a Choice.  Feeling, emotions all can very.  Faith is constent, because God does not change.  He is the same. Trust in the Word, Jesus is there for you.  As the man who Jesus healed his child the man said I believe, Lord help me in my unbelief.  He is there for us no matter where we are.

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