So, it was time to make a baby. After the first month of no success we just thought, "be patient, these things take time. We are a little up there in age so that may be the factor." But after 6 months we started exploring alternatives. We visited a fertility clinic and he gave us the best course of action to take. Going this route the chances of multiples increases. So I thought having twins would be kind of cool.
So finally the day came. My wife was pregnant. I did the best I could do to share her enthusiasm. Everything seemed to change once I found out and it was a feeling of my self-centerness rearing its ugly head. I was still on the fence and was not feeling the joy that goes along with being a first time parent.
So, we went to our first ultra-sound. I was still sorta in a daze over this whole situation. I remember looking at the monitor and seeing 3 circles staring at me. I took a calculated guess and looked at the doctor and said, "is that what I think it is?" and then I held up 3 fingers. He smiled and replied, "yes my friend, you are having triplets." Now I am freaking out. I am 43 years old, pretty much set in my ways. My selfishness was taking over my mind. Nothing good was filling my brain, only panic.
Then the doctor said something that made me feel really weird. He told us that we had the right to keep all 3, or choose which ones we want to keep. Now I want to make this perfectly clear. This was before I found my faith, God took over at that moment. He wiped out all the negative thoughts that occured before the doctor spoke.
Now I always was a believer in karma. But this was a situation where God was really testing my greed, my selfishness, and my character. He wanted me to realize the rammifications if I made the wrong decision.
I remember the long, slow walk to the elevator, and to the car. Not a word was spoken between my wife and I. Just before we got to the car I stopped. My wife looked at me, I said, "Well you wanted babies, I guess we are having 3!!" My wife gave me a big hug, as if it was my decision to make. For some odd reason all I could think about is how selfish I would have been pointing to the monitor and saying. "Okay doc, we'll pick these 2 and you make this one go away." I did talk to God and the thought entered my mind, "This is not your decision to make, you make the wrong decision and I can take them all away."
I could have easilly made the wrong decision. That is where I was in my life. Was this a trial? No, a trial is something you have no control of. And if you keep following this blog you will be a part of what we went through to get to where we are now, as there were many situations that were out of our control.
God Bless you all and have a great weekend. I'll continue next week.