At a time when it has never been more clear that im meant to do something that helps other people all i can seem to do is be selfish and try to help myself and make things worse. Giving in to things that I not only haven't done in years but things I fear will hurt others in the long run. Being a negative influence is one of the worst things you can do. I feel almost as if there is special place for people like me who should be sent away. If you cant control yourself and your actions being around impressionable others is the worst thing you can do. Not to mention when it causes you to loose some of things you want most. All actions have consiquences and we must accept them. I hope the lord can forgive me and help remove this part of myself that I have battled for so long, so that I can work on the things I feel like he wants me to spend my time doing.