All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
A day in the life
I have been under such massive stresses all at once and for years...job, finances, housing, transportation, rejection and hurts, turmoil, illness, and depression. The last two being caused perhaps by all the former.
I've always been emotional. I would see doom and gloom in the simplest of things. Flat tire? I'd put my head on the steering wheel and cry. Anxiety would set in not knowing what I was going to do, thinking this will have me here for an hour, I'll be late to work, it's going to cost me money I don't have, etc. etc.
Read to the end. You won't be disappointed and will have quite a laugh.
So about a week ago, my power plug in the car stopped working. Figuring it was a fuse, I pulled out my flashlight and began to view the manual in the dark. I see there is the fuse for the cigarette lighter and it's a 20 amp. There is also a sunroof motor fuse that is 20 amp. I couldn't tell in the dark if it was blown or not, so I switched the two...since I don't have a sunroof in my car. That didn't fix it. As I'm fiddling with it, my flashlight quits working. New batteries didn't fix it. So I toss it and make a note to pick up another one this week. Call Kia and set an appt. Since I have a court appt. in that area on the afternoon of the 31st, I set it for that morning.
So on the 30th, I wake up to find my living room window is still leaking in the rain. I called the landlord again and she came up to work on it some more that day. So I'm late leaving and have 3 bags of garbage in the trunk but no time to stop and put them in the dumpster. Then there's a wreck and I sit in traffic for an hour and get to work just on time...barely. I work through lunch, and 20 min. over then race to get my son, get thru a drive thru and get to church.
As I'm sitting in church, I begin to get text messages from the court appointed visitation supervisor. My ex has not taken a visit in over a month apparently due to finances and to health issues, but now he wants to take a visit on the 1st and informs me on the evening of the 30th. And we have court set for the 31st. Something just seemed out of joint, but the messages were causing anxiety. So I just prayed and prayed through and tried to keep calm. When church ended, I seemed to develop a bout of diarrhea...trust me, that needs to be said as it will play into all of this. So I go to the bathroom before I leave. Then I head home. I take Libby home as she lives on my road.
So I call the supervisor on the way home, and in talking to her, not wanting my son to hear the conversation, I take her off speaker and hold the phone to my ear. I am caught up in the conversation and forget Libby. So I start to back up to her house and juggling the phone, and the wheel in one hand, get caught in all the mud on my now rained on dirt road, and start slipping, ending with both right tires in a large drainage ditch the landlord had dug. Libby has to crawl over my seat and goes in. Her dad comes out. I had tried rocking out, got out to search for a board to put under the tire, etc. Was difficult without a flashlight...since mine broke days before. I called the landlord to see if she could help. She and Libby’s dad couldn’t find anything to hook a chain to on my car. So I’m using their flashlight searching the manual and discover there is a tow hook in the trunk and a hidden popout panel where you attach it directly into the frame of the car.
So, standing there with my skirt pulled up and tucked into the waistband, in dress shoes, and my stomach gurgling, here I am in the trunk, tossing three bags of trash over the backseat onto my son, then toss over the laundry detergent, then his bag of travel toys, then I pull out the trunk bag that holds all my stuff and hand it to the landlord, I lift the trunk cover and find the bolt. The landlord pulls me out, almost pulling me right over Libby’s dad. I get home and the porch light had blown out. Got my son in and quickly to bed and made a mad dash to the bathroom. Almost made it too.
So I wash the mud from my dress shoes and get to bed. Next morning I head to the car wash before heading to the car lot for the cigarette lighter fix. I run through the automatic wash, then proceed to the well lit vacuum area. In the middle of shampooing the mud from the carpeting, the timer lights all went off...and it was still dark.
If this had been 6 months ago, a year ago, whenever, I would have put my head on the steering wheel and just sat and bawled. But I think from all the depression I’m somewhat cried out or something. All I could do was shake my head and laugh at it all. I didn’t get all anxious or upset. Even sat through court calm and my lawyer noticed I was much more calmer than last time. This doesn’t mean I welcome days like these and have stopped praying for relief from them, but this one did not affect me badly as they have in the past. And I’ve had many many days like this over the past few years.
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Comment by Seek on November 1, 2013 at 2:06pm
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AND JUST HOW LONG IS 40 DAYS IN THE WILDERNESS ACCORDING TO YOUR TIMING??????
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!! Uhhh I have another problem. I've begged Him for a break. Mine's been ongoing since the end of 2009 as well. But I didn't actually get saved until the end of April 2010.
But every time I beg for a break, He seems to have given me one. But then things I do still make me cringe til I break down and beg Him to change me some more. He knows I get to a point where I even get afraid to ask for change because I know what's coming. But after seeing myself too long, I can't stand that anymore than I can stand all that other stuff. I sort of get caught in a catch 22 situation.
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Comment by Miss Kitty on November 1, 2013 at 1:38pm
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OH!!!!!GIRL!!!!!! ARE WE REALATED????!!!!!!!! MINE HAS BEEN ONGOING SINCE 2009!!! MAJOR THINGS HAPPENING, BACK TO BACK!!!! SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO LAUGH, IT'S SO UNBELEIVABLE. AT TIMES IT'S LIKE, DO I DARE CLOSE MY EYES TO GO TO SLEEP???? AM I GOING TO WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HORSE PASTURE FROM ANOTHER BROKEN WATERLINE AND HAVE ANOTHER EPISODE OF EVERY BUG IN HORRY COUNTY DECIDE TO MOVE BACK IN AGAIN????? AND LORD I PROMISE I'LL NEVER SAY I NEED A BREAK AGAIN, THE LAST TIME I SAID THAT, I WENT IN THE DITCH WITH MY TRACTOR AND BROKE MY LEG. AND JUST HOW LONG IS 40 DAYS IN THE WILDERNESS ACCORDING TO YOUR TIMING?????? WE ARE TO TRUST THE LORD AND BE CONTENT IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. NOW THAT'S NOT EASY WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR MOTHER ON YOUR B-DAY AND THE AIR GOES OUT IN 100 PLUS WEATHER 2 DAYS BEFORE THE MEMORIAL IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. AND THEN THE FOLLOWING CHRISTMAS EVE YOU GET A PHONE CALL DRIVING BACK FROM CHARLESTON IN A STORM THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN ER NOT EXPECTED TO LIVE. AND THE LIST GOES ON. HOW DO WE GET THROUGH IT WHEN MAJOR THINGS HIT US BACK TO BACK??? THE GACE OF GOD!!!!! A FAITHFUL LOVING GOD WHO IS THERE FOR YOU FOREVER. SOMETIMES WHEN THE STORMS OF LIFE HIT US SO HARD, THERE IS A CALM THAT OVERTAKES US, IT'S THAT DIGGING YOUR HEELS IN AND MAKING A STAND THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I'M STILL GOING TO SERVE YOU LORD. I KNOW YOU HAVE ME LORD AND YOU WILL NOT LEAVE ME OR FORSAKE ME. WHEN WE SEND THAT KIND OF MESSAGE, THE DEVIL HATES IT!!!! NO MATTER WHAT YOU CAN'T SEPERATE ME FROM THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! NEVER!!!! THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN IS TO BE KILLED AND YOU STILL LOSE , SATAN CAUSE I WILL GO HOME TO BE WITH MY LORD!!!!! AMEN!!!!!! GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!!!!!! HE GETS THE GLORY, ALL OF IT!!!!!
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LOL I think I prefer dry eyes though. I've cried and cried so much on and off the last few years that I just don't have anything left to cry. Maybe it will cut down on the headaches.
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Thanks for the words Chris. And good to see you. It's been awhile.
LOL Amanda....errr no. Cheap prepaid smart phone, no camera flash to act as a flashlight. I can use the screen on bright, but it's not all that good to see by.
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Comment by a servant (Chris) on November 1, 2013 at 11:01am
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I know I would watch TV and Thursday night with JM. Seek while all you went through was not fun, yet His Joy was your response. Know this beyond any doubt by sharing this I and others are encouraged. Encouraged not by the thought that "if you can anyone can." NO, NO, NO!!! Encouraged by the example you set, edified by how you are seeing things, and Lead by your example.
Seek you have so much, you have had so much, more than most. Yet, your determination to bring Glory to Jesus by your actions, is being observed and rewarded. In very many different ways. You are a Wonderful example for a Daughter of The Most High. It is not that we never have problems, nor that we do everything correct. Yet, " my lawyer noticed I was much more calmer than last time," this shows that others around you are not just hearing you say things about Jesus, but you are showing them even without words. In a more Powerful way, you are showing them by example. Those Actions do speak so much louder than words, ever could.
Love ya Sis
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Comment by journeyman on November 1, 2013 at 9:58am
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While I am very sorry for all of the "stuff" you have gone through I see the makings of a very funny Thursday night Sitcom on CBS! There is great wisdom to be found in how you handled all of this. The Holy Spirit is with you in these storms! I suspect laughing as you did! HOPE is so remarkable because we place our hope in the Lord. Some traveling music!
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