Do you need a little grace? Forgiveness? Understanding? Are you lost in your own grieving, feeling as if you may be hurting worse than anyone even though you know it's impossible to know how much others are hurting? But the same is true of you, too. No one else would know your pain.
James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” It's easy to say, "That's what we have to do," especially… Continue
Added by Amanda on February 10, 2016 at 12:00pm —
She had a beautiful funeral, my sister. I was glad to get the opportunity to watch it, and a holiness minister, whom my mother requested to officiate, gave a wonderful message about Jesus raising Lazarus. He said we can talk about God all we want but when we mention Jesus, that's when people start becoming offended. But, he said, he was living to praise Jesus everyday for all that Jesus has done for him. Then he told about a future promise being fulfilled one day of Jesus coming back and… Continue
One of the childhood memories I have of my oldest sister is of her singing and reciting songs and nursery rhymes to me, such as There's a hole in the bottom of the sea, There's a hole in the bottom of the sea, There's a log on the hole in the bottom of the sea, There's a log on the hole in the bottom of the sea, There's a bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea ... and Do Lord, O, do Lord, O do remember me
Do Lord, O, do Lord, O do remember me
Do Lord, O, do Lord, O do… Continue
My youngest sister has been sharing her grief with me for our oldest sister whose health is deteriorating day by day by day.
Last night she contacted me, saying our oldest sister has gotten much worse. "She can't turn side to side now and is having pain. She's also had a few outbursts of agitation, raising her arms to heaven and screaming that she can't take this anymore; crying hysterically. She's on oxygen now."
Yesterday was the birthday of my youngest sister's late… Continue
Added by Amanda on January 11, 2016 at 1:24pm —
When you're going through difficult things, it can seem that God is anything but your shelter from the storm or your victor -- the one who defeats the enemy -- or surely, if God were, you wouldn't be suffering in these ways.
Yet, Jesus said we'd have troubles while living in the world.
But for some reason having all the troubles often makes me think that God isn't really with me and then hopelessness sets in.
You see, I know that those who are spiritually dead… Continue
Added by Amanda on December 24, 2015 at 8:30am —
I think my childhood was filled with overwhelming negative experiences. What I mean by "think" is that it's my perspective, the way I remember and see it. Many of my physical needs went unmet and the people in my life -- my parents and older siblings and other family members -- were hardly able to meet any of my emotional needs due to their own histories themselves.
I suffered from abuse and neglect.
However, almost everyone says it's possible to heal from childhood… Continue
Things keep coming at me out of nowhere, and they're devastating events, not just small annoyances like the kind that can ruin your day or your mood. They are serious things that involve intense helplessness and fear, and I'm not like other people when it comes to being able to bounce back after terrible events or situations happen. With me, after they happen, for some reason, I'm not able to return to feeling and living like I did before they happened. Most people can make that adjustment, or,… Continue
Added by Amanda on November 21, 2015 at 5:30pm —
Have you felt as if your life is cursed, as if you are cursed?
At times I feel as if God has chosen for me to be at the mercy of many things in my life that have gone wrong, at the mercy of illness, and at the mercy of people to be abused, assaulted, or injured physically, emotionally, mentally, and verbally, and for me to always feel helpless and vulnerable, struggling with the need to be in control.
I keep looking for ways to regain control of my life.
The autumn equinox has passed and fall has arrived in this hemisphere. Although it's my favorite time of year, as far as weather and nature go, it's the anniversary of a day I'll never forget, even though I don't remember it very clearly, either. It was the darkest day in my life, and the day I gave up and…
Sometimes I look into the eyes of strangers, to see if they will acknowledge me, give me a smile or say hello.
I could be wrong, but I think most people want others to really see them and to not be dismissive of them, and they want to not feel the sting of judgment in their eyes, reflecting back to them, but to find there, instead, understanding and acceptance of who they are, of the way they look, and so forth.
Sometimes I think, wouldn't it be great if everyone could… Continue
Added by Amanda on September 20, 2015 at 6:00pm —
If it wasn't sweater weather the last time I posted a blog entry, it is definitely time for it, now, at least in the mornings and the evenings, when I sit outside on the patio.
The high today was forecast as 79, but this morning it was only 57, although it turned out to be a pleasant afternoon, warm and sunny and clear. Tonight's low is 48. As I write this, it's nearing sunset, and the temperatures will gradually fall from then on.
I've been seeing the first hints of autumn--leaves changing colors and falling to the ground--but it definitely isn't time for sweaters. The high today was forecast as 90 and it's been a muggy afternoon.
Fall is my favorite time of year. I love the bursts of colors, the orange, gold, and russet hues,…