Andre's Page

Thank you for your welcome and if I may, I would like to introduce myself to
you.

I am a young 40 yr old male German.... and please forgive my bad English.

I was born, educated and went to school. I chose nursing as my profession
and in my leisure time I dealt with varied things. I rode motorcycle, and
as diving-instructor I worked in different locations around the world.

I met a person at age 25, who told me the truth and unveiled my innermost, I
found it hard to believe. Yet here I sensed deeply within myself, that it
was right. I could no longer silence this inner voice and moreover it became
louder. It seemed that behind my friendly façade was an abysmal hell. And so
the facade crumbled and I stood there "bloody and naked." I also understood
that this façade served the purpose to protect me, because I didn't have the
strength to endure my innermost. However now, because I wanted to follow
this thread as far as its end and assumed this as life-goal, much was shown
me. My only wish was, to transform my own mendacity into love. At that
time I had a slight notion that it is somewhat higher and important. I
could hardly count the dark hours, and the tears I cried certainly would
fill a pool.


I had no love, searched for my self in the world and had for all intend and
purpose nothing to give. I was nauseated by my life and felt like a
prisoner, in other words, that I had to live out of necessity. A heavy
depression connected itself to this wasteland, which bound me to my bed. I
lay here for ¾ of a year. I neither knew in nor out. Everything didn't make
any more sense. As a result I looked so miserably on the foundation of my
soul and now had to live with it. At times, I didn’t even have the strength
to go to the toilet, and if a dear person had not taken care of me, I would
not know what I would have turned into. It became increasingly darker
around me, and here I cried out for God, that He might come and that I would
do everything and would be obedient. He might make something sensible out
of me, because I can't. So, I seriously prayed for the first time to an
unknown God with all strength which I still had, and experienced relief.
Something moved deep in me, and in my darkness I found a light in the
inside. I could submit everything to this light, and it answered. However,
it reacted only to truth otherwise, it was silent. On hand of this light, I
was revived and follow Him since then. It led me deep within me, showed me
my hells on the inside, and again I did not come out of my crying and vowed
improvement.


A short time later spiritual writings came into the fingers for the first
time, and to my amazement I was able to comprehend these. However, the
world became more alien to me and seemed as if in the background. I sensed
an undreamt-of love in my heart and didn't have any enmity against no one.
I also saw the world quite clearly and more obvious, nothing upset me
anymore. I began to read from the love-teachings of Jesus and that within
the hidden would live a treasure. There was nothing bigger for me than the
true light, which I was allowed to find and had subordinated myself too. My
chest burned within as I read from this treasure, it was as if this book
(the Bible) was written for me. At the time I still associated the Bible
directly with church and I was not religious. I didn't want to have anything
to do with church and laid the book again aside, and from here on my inner
light was silent. So I picked up the book again into my hand about 1 week
later and read in it.

I still remember, as if it was yesterday. Jokingly I asked inside me
whether God Jesus might be the little light, and it burned so much in my
chest, that it threatened to burst. I froze with terror. Nervously I ran
up and down in the room and could not believe it. But my chest burned and
burned. I fell on my knees and prayed that I was not worthy of it and could
not endure to have God in me. Suddenly the whole seriousness became clear to
me. From here on it became obvious to me, that the spirit of truth always
was on Earth and had a name, "Jesus Christ".

So, eternal Love looked for me in the world, hunted, confronted and made
(me) into a new human being.

I died in recognizing my miserable nature and God has accepted me, as He has
already done with many people.

Consequently I don't walk my way in a belief, but do what this living Spirit
gives me internally and surrender myself, which is not always easy.

Love in Jesus Christ
André