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Things are getting worse. Where I work several people are battling Cancer.

I am a second shift custodian. I have been working my job for eleven years. When I first started it was three man job to clean the building. Each of us worked a full eight hours every day. The head people decided that they would start cutting back. When a guy at another building retired they took one of us and moved him to another building. For several years now two people are doing the work of three. Next they decided that they don't have enough money to pay for sub cleaners. What that means is if one person is sick or takes a day off, one man is given the job of cleaning the whole building by himself. I was that man and I cleaned fifteen restrooms and with all the trash nothing got swept. What I'm trying to tell you things are getting worse! I've never been happy at this job but it pays for what I need it to pay for. I wish God would provide me a healthier job. Emotionally this job causes me to be extremely lonely all the time, and I think that is where my depression keeps coming from. Things online are not going well for me. Ever since I got this job I had to use the internet for human communication. People online have not proven to be very good friends. I've experienced all kinds of issues with people online and it's one of the reasons why you don't see me logged in much anymore. I had to cut back because people on both Christian sites and Secular sites kept hurting me. They hurt me In lots of different ways. Sometimes it's in what they say. Sometimes it's in the choices they make. And many times it's just a failure to care. I have finally become so frustrated with the whole thing that I'm asking that God will change my life so much that I won't need the internet anymore! I know it seems like this doesn't sound that bad. But if you multiply all this stuff by eleven years it all adds up. I haven't told very many people my online stories but I have shared some with Tammy. And she can testify for me that I have indeed run into lots of bad apples online.

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What I've told myself about my own battle with depression and hard times is that God is allowing it for the purpose of helping me learn to be joyful even in rough times and in places I don't want to be, helping me learn to reach out to Him to fill the loneliness.  Does it feel good being in this spot?  Nope.  Will it later?  That's my hope and prayer.

GOD PUTS PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES FOR A REASON, PEOPLE CAN BE HARS AND CRUEL AT TIMES, WE MUST
TRY TO KEEP A OPEN MIND, I KNOW WHAT THESE SITES ARE LIKE , DEPRESSION IS HARD TO BATTLE
I HAVE A SON WITH IT THAT FIGHTS TO LIVE EVERYDSY BECOMES HE FEEL USELESS, SEEK IS CORRECT ,
EVEN THOUGHS YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A TUFF TIME , GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD, FOR HE WANTS
YOU TO GROW, NO MATTER HOW UGLY THINGS MAY LOOK , GOD WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU , WE ARE
GOD's VESSEL, HE IS WITHIN US, IT IS NEVER GOOD TO BE THE POSION YOU ARE IN, BUT THERE IS A
REASON FOR IT, GOD IS THER FOR YOU, IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE HE IS BUT YOU ARE HIS BELOVED CHILED
WEATHER YOU WANT TO BE OR NOT, WHEN PEOPLE BECOME THAT HARSH WITH YOU, ASK GOD TO
FORGIVE THEM AND MOVE ON , LOOK ALL THATVARE LORD WENT THROUGH FOR ALL OF US, WHEN I
JOINED THIS SITE , I HAD TOLD SEEK IN A PRAYER ROOM UNINTENTIONALLY SHE SHOULD HAVE MORE
FAITH, I DID NOT KNOW I HAD OFFENED HER, BUT THROUGH THAT , SHE HAD MADE ME GROW IN A
WAY YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE, WE ARE FRIENDS AND RESPECT WHAT WE SAY TO LNE ANOTHER, WHAT
I AM TRYING TO SAY IS, THERE ARE TIMES WE UNINTENTIONALLY MEAN TO HURT OTHERS WITH OUR
WORDS, THESE PEOPLE MAY NOT KNKW THERE WORDS ARE HARMING YOU, THST IS WHY INSTEAD OF
GETTING UPSET LIKE THEY MAY WANT YOU TO FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY SAY.

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