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"The Road Less Traveled" -

Today I read a Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken." It has
been years since I have read this and as I was reading it I knew
that this is exactly were we as standers have been. When our
spouses left, we found ourselves at a fork in the road. Some of
us probably stood at that fork peering down each path wondering
what it was exactly that we saw off in the distance of each of
those paths.

I stood at that path looking down the road of divorce and I
imagined that there would be pain and struggles, but that
ultimately I would end up finding happiness somewhere, somehow
with someone else. I didn't want to think about someone else,
but what other choice did I have? My husband left and this was
the only path I had to go down, wasn't it?

The other path seemed to me to be bitterness, anger, and
resentment for the rest of my life toward my husband and never
finding the true happiness that I was seeking. This was Satan's
attempt to lure me down the path of divorce, but God! God
without my understanding, guided me down this other path. I had
no idea why or where it led until He started to reveal each
step. A little voice in my head said, "Step here. Go this
way." And so I did.

"A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone
understand his own way?" Proverbs 20:24

This path has not been easy by any means and there are times
throughout the day that I look back for a moment and wonder if
the other path would be easier. There have even been times that
I have actually turned around and started to walk back. God
never left my side even when I started to walk back He spoke
softly to me calling me back.

The poem at one point talks about how the paths up to a certain
point look like they are worn just the same and I realized that
almost every person who has been left by their spouse has started
down the "road less traveled" seeking restoration, but if they
did not start down that path with the Lord or did not accept Him
along the way that ultimately they have turned back and gone
down the path of divorce.

So, here I am with my Lord traveling down the "road less
traveled" and the path has become very bumpy at some points, but
then there are days where there is a clearing and the Lord opens
up Heaven and reveals his glory to me. Those are the days that
He renews my strength and gives me a new measure of faith and we
continue on this journey.

I have heard my friends and family calling me from a distance
asking me to come back. They say this path will only lead to
destruction for me, but I realize that they cannot travel down
this road with me. They must watch from a distance. They see
the terrain is treacherous so they are fearful that I will get
too far into this and not be able to find my way out. Something
amazing has happened to them along the way though. At different
times of this journey God has revealed Himself to them. They
have seen Him by my side and now they are questioning the road
they are traveling. Through all of this God will not only reveal
Himself to your spouse, but also to those in your life who have
been lead astray. You need only to believe.

"The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling
before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and
asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" They
replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you
and your household." Then they spoke the word of the Lord to
him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the
night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then
immediately he and all his family were baptized. The jailer
brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was
filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and
his whole family." Acts 16:29-34

This road for many of us is not just about marriage restoration,
but revival. As we walk down this road, we are breaking the
generational curses of our families and reclaiming the blessing
that has been given away or stolen by the enemy. At the end of
this road there is a table that is prepared for us before our
enemies loaded with all that has been stolen from us and many
more blessings from God. So, now it is time to put your hiking
boots on and press forward with God to the table He has prepared
for you and your family.

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." Psalm 23:5

God bless,

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Replies to This Discussion

greetings in jesus name my dear sister

yes i agree with you 100% most of us drifted away from the road that leads to salvation,we continued to travell on the road to destruction,the only time we realised which road we have gone is when we go through tribulations and problems in our life and that's the time we make a u turn and head back to the road that leads to salvation.

god bless
This is good place for the post you sent me Bronx.

Which Way Are We Going? -

"Why do some prodigals visit their families and seem
to have a good time, but do not come home to stay?"

Men and women who are standing with God for marriage restoration
must have a lot of faith. Along with that, they have high hopes
of a prodigal spouse soon coming home. What has happened when the
process seems to be starting, and then suddenly the prodigal
makes an 180 degree turn, once again, away from their home and
praying spouse? What happens to the stander's high hopes?

Charlyne and I pray that by now you understand that the path back
home that a prodigal spouse travels is not always a straight one.
Like a road to the top of a mountain, (and your prodigal coming
home will be a mountaintop for you), the road is not straight.

If we were to leave our home and travel north on I-95, we would
reach a point in Martin County where the compass would indicate
we are going south. Are we going north or south? Should we give
up on our northbound trip, because the compass says we are going
the opposite way? I-95 actually goes so far west in Martin County
that at one point, due to a curve, northbound cars are heading
south.

My wife and I can understand your high hopes of restoration, and
that is great, providing these hopes are based on the promises of
God. When the road home takes an unexpected turn, you need to
pray just as strongly, never doubting for a moment that God is at
work.

The foremost question on the heart of any prodigal who ever gives
thought to returning home is a simple one; "What's different
now?" It does not matter if you are separated because of
adultery, abuse, alcoholism, or any of the rest of the alphabet
of causes, your spouse wants to know what has changed so that
this nightmare will not repeat itself.

Most standers make the mistake of volunteering what is different,
reciting to their prodigal about a closer walk with the Lord, and
how much He has changed them. Your absent spouse does not want to
hear your words; he or she wants to observe the changes.

"Me change?" someone is thinking. "My spouse was the one who
committed adultery, not me. Let them change!" You need to stop
playing the blame game. Satan is the one at fault for your
situation. He attacked your family by using a pre-existing
spiritual weakness in one or both parties. Gradually, the enemy
took over that person, until they were his captive, as described
in 2 Timothy. Let's follow a typical family from the thousands we
have on our mailing list and attempt to discover why the spouse
has not come home.

It could be a husband or wife, but let's say that Jack becomes
too friendly with Susie at work. That is the point of the enemy's
attack. They progressed from being co-workers to having lunch
together most days. As they got to know each other, things
reached the, "I'll tell you my problems and you can tell me
yours." One of Jack's "problems," be it true or not, was related
as a poor or non- existent sex life at home. While Jack still
went home to Jill each evening, it was Susie, not Jill, who
occupied his thoughts.

At some point, and in some way, Jack and Susie crossed the
physical line. From that moment on, the enemy who had attacked
Jack back in the pre-lunch days now has full control of the man.
He is hearing in his spirit, "You are not good enough for Jill.
She doesn't meet your needs, but Susie sure does!" "You deserve
some happiness, not just a wife and kids." He is hearing from
Susie, in a hundred ways, "We have a future. Leave your wife for
me." The other person may even be giving your guilt-filled spouse
ultimatums that they must make a choice. Can you imagine? The
choice was made when you married. Satan has now taken full
control.

Confused Jack moves out of the family's home, leaving behind a
shocked Jill. She knew something had changed in him, but assumed
it was job pressure or mid-life crisis, or sadly, she blames
herself. You may be to blame for not praying for your family, but
certainly not for the break-up. That credit goes to the enemy,
who is out to destroy every family, thus destroying every church,
thus destroying society itself.

The months or years following are a blur of lawyers, protection
orders, battles over the unimportant, court dates, many tears,
and all the rest that most standers know too well. Jack, silently
bearing the guilt for all of this, tells himself, "Jill hates me.
She probably hated me the entire time. It is best we are
divorcing." At the same time, Susie is pushing marriage. Jack
half-heartedly agrees, knowing if he does not, that he will lose
Susie. By some means, the news is mysteriously leaked so that
Jill will hear there is a wedding being planned, adding to her
devastation.

Meanwhile, God, in His love for Jack and Jill and their family,
used some means to introduce Jill to standing with Him and
praying for the restoration of Jack back to his Heavenly Father,
and to his family. Jill turns not to people, but to her Lord God
for her support, her direction, and her decisions. During her
stand, she becomes less of the abandoned and angry woman she had
been, and more like Jesus every day. Her Bible replaces her
newspaper as her source of information. Jill's taste in music has
changed to Christian music. Prayer takes more time than the
computer. She is teachable. She has a burden for Jack's soul, now
destined for Hell, unless he changes.

Jack's sinful relationship is not going well. Susie is not the
happy person he used to dream about all the time. She is
demanding and controlling. (Do you know why? She knows that her
days with Jack are numbered and she is hanging on in any way she
can.)

Jack sees Jill every other weekend when he picks up the children,
or when he picks up his mail. Gone is the angry, spiteful woman
who sat at the opposite table in court. She has a peace that Jack
wishes he could find. She is kind to Jack, and always agreeable.
The day comes when Jack stands on his own porch, ringing his own
door bell, and is excited to see Jill, if only for a couple of
minutes. It is almost like when they were first falling in love.
He feels good when Jill calls out, "I'm praying for you," as he
walks away.

This marriage is at a crossroad. If Jill continues to stand,
there will come a day when Jack starts to confide in his wife. He
will walk inside his home and have his heart almost burst with
good memories. He will wish that he could rewind the clock and
never have met Susie. Jill will become more serious about
standing. She may fast often, and not waste time online. She
recognizes she is approaching the biggest battle of this
spiritual war for her husband's soul and for her marriage.

What if Jill takes the other road? She feels God has had enough
time and nothing seems to be happening. (But she can't see inside
Jack's heart!) What if she gives up standing and gets on with her
life, like everyone tells her to do? Some day another man will be
opening Jack's front door when he rings. Both Jack and Jill will
revert to angry people, at war not against Satan, but with one
another. Jack and Jill will probably both go on to second, and
possible third marriages. Left behind will be a string of
brokenhearted children.

If Jill continues to stand and to grow in the Lord, God will
change her, before he changes Jack. Then Jill and their home will
become a spiritual magnet for Jack. He will find the peace there
that he is seeking. Jill, still wearing her wedding rings, may
become like the other woman, as Jack shaves the truth to Susie in
order for him to see his covenant wife. Experts, of which I am
not, have said that prodigal spouses may live with one foot in
each of two worlds, as they test the water.

The prodigal comes home for the birthday parties, and then
suddenly leaves, even disappearing for a time, with no contact. I
like to compare this to the pendulum on a clock. Pull the
pendulum all the way back toward home, and when released, it will
go farther to the other side, but always returns.

What's a stander to do? Jill is not even married to Jack, yet he
drops in at home as if nothing ever happened. She should be
rejoicing, because Jack is on the way home. Jack has a tremendous
battle going on inside, between right and wrong. He is guilt-
filled and plays the "What if..." game over leaving Susie. Satan
is losing the war for this family and will pull out his major
weapons at this point.

All the time, Jack is going to be asking himself, "What's
different now?" Charlyne and I pray that all the "Jacks" will
readily see that things are different because you have now based
your life on the Lord Jesus Christ. You are living His way, and
silently inviting the one you love to come home to a totally
different spouse.

We acknowledge that not every situation will match this composite
of fictional Jack and Jill presented here. Charlyne and I pray
that you will find something herein that will help you understand
the dilemma of prodigal spouses who visit, but can't move home
(yet!)

"The Spirit of the Lord will come upon you in power, and you will
prophesy with them; and you will be changed into a different
person." I Samuel 10:6

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