May I address you as MS Vicky as I assume Diaz is his last name? I am just the opposite of you. I am 22 years of active duty and my wife left 2 months before our 21 anniversary. Like you, not having a lot of money, I went to file divorce on my own. The new wrinkle, I just found out she is pregnant with his child. My delima, they have no money either, if I file too early, she will loose the insurance and if she lost the baby due to lack of medical care, I would really feel guilty. Not because she is about to be the ex "wife", but because God has His intent for the child to be born. The child is innocent.
I wanted you to see a bit of my background before I went any further. First, you as a military spouse, have a lot of rights yourself. Dont be scared to visit your local military JAG office. They will not be able to represent you in court, however, they can advise you on your legal rights. Also, if you were married for more than ten years during his military career, DOD law states you ARE entitled to 50% of his retirement. Kinda twisted for me, she left, yet this law applies to me giving to her as well.
All this said, let me give some things that may help the heart. James 4;8 or 8;4, Bible isnt close right now, says if we (you) desire to draw close to God (getting into His Holy Word and spending time in prayer, I like saying it as "time in the closet)He will draw close to us(you). I wont go into all the details but when I was told this and coupled with 1 Peter 5: 6-11, I was beginning to see God move and do things that only He could do. Have you ever said "what a coincidence", "I cant beleive that happened", "that couldnt have worked better if Id done it myself", MS Vicky, each time you say that, that's God doing His thing. We just havent grown close enough to HIm to see it as such.
I have 3 teenagers envolved and one being a special needs child. Despite the wrong she did in the past, for the sake of these kids, I still treat her with the respect as teh mother of these kids, nothing more. I say that to say this, you cannot be responsible for his actions. I didnt catch how old your kids are but they are watching. Let them see a strong Christian woman that is drawing her strength from Our Almighty God. Dont let him drag you to a place away from God. Your kids will grow and remember the strength you drew from God and Id be willing to bet they will want to tap that well of strength themselves. God Bless you Ma'am.
Hello Vicky, i'm so sorry to here of your tragic dilema, yes God hates divorce and all the hurt and brokenness that comes with it..it hurts soooo much with sleepless nights in pain and bewilderment, 18 months ago i to had a divorce and lost my mother in the same month, I was in a very dark place for months, I tryed every thing to reconcile our marrage but to no availe, here in England people get divorced for nothing and every thing, snoreing, bad breath, forgeting to do the shoping, its all over in days,
it's so wrong and disturbing...but one thing for sure God see's our pain and stands buy us he will never leave us and hurts with us, we just dont see it at the time, but he is there, I went to a Christian retreat for councilling, and while i was there..I broke down and sobbed my heart out, a lady came up to me with tears in her eye's, and said ive just seen something truely amazeing...as you were crying i saw a figure of a man dressed in white standing with you with he's arms around you!
Today vicky I am in Malta with my future wife Cathy ive just been given the all clear from a cancer opperation, am training boxers as that was my profession and am getting involved with youth ministery, sooooo please dont give up on your faith, as there is light at the end of the tunnel, just stay on the train..namely Jesus Amen, and time will take you to peace and happyness with your children and a new life with our Lord and saviour..Hallalouya!!!. be blessed Vicky, your friend in Christ Jesus..Paul :-)x