All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Tell me if i'm wrong or right or what should I do
I use to go to this church me my 6 children and fiance and pay my dues faithfully whenever I could afford. Till one day the pastor and his wife told us that we have to get married because the bible said two people can't have children and living together which I know it is right with that part but the thing is I told him my fiance lost his job and the only income I get is from social security from my late husband for me and my kids and I said to the pastor right now thats how I get my bills paid and if I get married again now they will eliminate the check for me. Ok the thing is he insist if we don't get married then we can't come to his church he made that an issue. He basically put us in a wayto make us feel uncomfortable. another ting when we try to take part in activity he would tell us we can't take part because we are not married. Ok my question is isn't it his duty as a pastor to encourage us to bring out our talent and make us feel welcome in the word of god?
If you were in my shoes what would you have done?
Another thing is when we try to give suggestion to make the church grow the pastor don't want us to particpate because of the marriage issue. His church is not growing because the pastor is to busy passing judgement on what people can and cannot do.
If you were in my shoes what would you have done?
Another thing is when we try to give suggestion to make the church grow the pastor don't want us to particpate because of the marriage issue. His church is not growing because the pastor is to busy passing judgement on what people can and cannot do.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by MARIE on
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Evander: My church was the same way, we all have committed sin but we can not continue to sin knowingly. I understand your situation wholeheartedly, but sin is sin. My main question, is your fiance living with you? People do lose jobs, but whatever the situation he needs to try hard to get another one. As you stated, you only receive the Social Security money but that is for you and your children. You have to make the final decisions, but if you are living with him and continue to take care of him there is no reason for him to try hard. There's an old saying, why pay for the cow if you can get the milk free. Please don't misunderstand me as I stated we all make mistakes, including myself. I'm married now, but I wasn't married 16 years ago and I was taken off the choir because I got pregnant with my son and was not married. Things happen, I feel if this man really loves you then he will do what he needs to do.
God Bless, I hope I am of some help.
Marie
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Permalink Reply by betty j. maye on
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AMEN!
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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on
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Evadney,
The issue with the church is secondary to your relationship with Jesus. I would ask that you ponder two questions in light of Scriputre and seek God's wisdom.
1) Is living with a man (I assume sharing the same bed) outside of marriage sin according to the Word of God?
2) Does God bless wilfull rebellion and over look sin at anytime? In other words, can you expect God to bless your relationship with this man in its current status?
LT
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Permalink Reply by Ginnybee on
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Excellent words LT... I had a similar issue way back when...probably 5 yrs ago. I felt the Church leader should've made me and my so called "other half" feel more welcome, but instead I was driven to shame that I was in the church at all! I was mad and I was hurt because I really wanted to grow in the Lord, but was too uncomfortable to return to that church, and too uncomfortable to try other churches for a long time after. So I just want to say I completely understand the sin issue... but isn't that why we become spiritually drawn to church in first place? I still think when someone comes to church, especially those living in sin, they should be made to feel more welcome, at least for a good while until the new comers begin to feel loved. Then I believe the chruch leader should approach the sin issue very differently than I think they often do. The leader should never make the member feel unloved, period. That's how I feel about it, lol. I like your response, though. And, Evadney, thank you for bringing up this topic! :)
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Permalink Reply by Evadney Edwards on
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To me you give the best answer and I thank you for that. I feel that god doesn't judge us and we all born in sin and the church should accept us as we are, I mean be for real these days so many relationship man and woman live together and I know its wrong but at the same time the members and the leaders of the church should make its members welcome to want to serve the lord. Isn't it the pastor job to preach deliverance and not focus so much on people's lifestyle. Pastor job is to make you feel love in the lord not make people lives more complicated.
Since I was going to that church he even told two woman that are lesbian that they can't live together and be coming to his church. I mean thats wrong what he needs to do even though it is wrong preach and show it in the bible not telling them specifically to make them uncomfortable to not want to go back to that church.
Right now since the pastor made us feel so uncomfortable I don't even want to go to any church because they are to busy judging members.
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Evadney, please don't misunderstand. And know that it's in love that I attempt to correct a possible misunderstanding.
What I meant to convey is that while I do not condone or make light of a sinful act (sin is sin), I also don't think a fellow christian should rudely offend a sinner who seeks good counsel. Every person should have access to God's loving counsel (key word, "loving"). Similarly, a sinner should gladly receive conviction for his/her sins and repent as soon as humanly possible.
With love,
Glenda
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i am sorry but your pastor is right not wrong! God word tells that living together without marriage is wrong and tells us that homosexual lifestyle is wrong! also God does judge people! maybe it is not the pastor making you feel uncomfortable but the Lord? think about what you are saying......."isn't it the pastor's job to preach deliverance and not focus so much on peole's lifestyle" - No this is his job and he is preaching on sin not a lifestyle! i am sorry but your last reply sounds like you want a pastor that tells you what you want to hear not what God is telling him to preach! also sin is sin no matter what the world says. God does not change and His word does not change!
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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Sister Evadney-
Without details (not asking that you give us details) of how the pastor approached you is hard to align his conduct according to scripture. Pastor's job is a difficult one, he has to shepherd the flock.The great shepherd our lord, used the rod and staff to do so. The rod was to protect and correct. Pastor's job is the same, to protect and correct in love.
Psalm 23 - 4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You stated :"i feel that god doesn't judge us "
Revelation 20:11
I saw a Great White Throne and the One Enthroned. Nothing could stand before or against the Presence, nothing in Heaven, nothing on earth. And then I saw all the dead, great and small, standing there—before the Throne! And books were opened. Then another book was opened: the Book of Life. The dead were judged by what was written in the books, by the way they had lived. Sea released its dead, Death and Hell turned in their dead. Each man and woman was judged by the way he or she had lived. Then Death and Hell were hurled into Lake Fire. This is the second death—Lake Fire. Anyone whose name was not found inscribed in the Book of Life was hurled into Lake Fire.
I can show you numerous verses where the bible teaches that God judges. He even turns His back to those that are set on doing their own thing.
In Romans chapter 1 it says: "24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves"
God past judgment over these folks while they were still alive because they would not turn to him?
We are talking to you about life or death Evadney. God loves you and wants to be your provider but for that to happened you must obey Him. No way around it. God will not honor disobedience because of fears or insecurities in our heart Evadney.
I pray you understand that we are trying to love you the best way we know how. With the truth. What good is it, if we tell you what you want to hear and you end up in hell because we did not want to make you uncomfortable. No we will not do that to you, you are precious and you have 6 little ones that could be bless by your obedience to an ALMIGHTHY, GOOD AND LOVING GOD.
BLESSINGS
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Excellent, if she hasn't heard anything else I believe this should be the straw that broke the camels back.
Marie
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Permalink Reply by rachel fetherston on
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Evadney,
Staying away from church will only hurt you and your family. I understand that the Pasor made you feel unwelcome and I do think he used the wrong approach to correct your living situation.
Can you find another church? Please recognize though Evandey that no matter which church you attend they have a responsibily to love you and that includes being truthful with you. The bible says that living together being unmarried is unacceptable to God. Do you agree?
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Evadney- first let me tell you that no one, not even your pastor, is sinless. the thiing is you can't wait to pay tithes and live according to God's word until it is easier. i think you know that what is going on in your home is not right and it is not how God's word tells us to live. i believe if you and your fiance get married and pay tithes in FAITH that the Lord will see you through and bless you. i do not write this in judgment or thinking that it will be easy. i will be praying for you and your family. God Bless you and your beautiful children and your fiance.
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