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Has anyone ever wanted to stray from God? I've reached a point where I have basically snapped and I just don't care anymore. I just want to let loose and have fun (take that as you would like) and I don't feel guilty about it. Yet. I feel 100% disconnected from God and I want to be bad (again, take that as you would like). Has anyone else out there ever been through this? I've never felt like this before. I've felt disconnected and angry, but I've never stopped caring to the point that I want to do some things that I'm thinking of doing right now....Sorry if this is too blunt, but I really don't know how else to say it.

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Shannon,

Questions are fine.  Questions are good.  They help us grow... As the scriptures say.. Iron sharpens Iron. 

 

You said this:  "I too as a Christian have my questions for God and am awaiting a sign or answer from him"

 

God has indeed given many signs to His people throughout the ages. ...all we have to do is read through the book of Exodus or Deuteronomy.

 

This all comes to an end at the end of Matthew chapter 12.  Jesus had performed all His miracles, and the Pharisees still rejected, denied and sought to kill Him.  They were missing their Messiah... YES-- even after the Messianic miracles were performed and the Pharisees knew full well what the miracles were and why they were being done.  All the signs in ages past were given and Jesus brings the 'signs to a halt' with this:

Matthew 12:38-41

38 Then some of the scribes and Pharisees said to Him, “Teacher, we want to see a [ak]sign from You.” 39 But He answered and said to them, “An evil and adulterous generation craves for a [al]sign; and yet no [am]sign will be given to it but the [an]sign of Jonah the prophet; 40 for just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the sea monster, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. 41 The men of Nineveh will stand up with this generation at the judgment, and will condemn it because they repented at the preaching of Jonah; and behold, something greater than Jonah is here. 42 The Queen of the South will rise up with this generation at the judgment and will condemn it, because she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and behold, something greater than Solomon is here.

43 “Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came’; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation.”

 

Why do you think Jesus would say this about 'signs?'

What does the sign of Jonah mean?  Why does it matter?

How can it apply in our lives today?

 

Blessings, Carla

 

Kayla

More times than I would like to remember.  My Sister know that when The Spirit opened your eyes to The Love of Jesus, and you accepted Him as Lord and Saviour, He already knew what you would do.  His Forgiveness NEVER CHANGES.  It is us who need to accept His Forgiveness.  

The Truth is He cannot break His Word.  He will never leave or forsake you.  Just by you sharing this shows, The Spirit working in your life.  " I just want to let loose and have fun (take that as you would like) and I don't feel guilty about it. Yet. I feel 100% disconnected from God and I want to be bad (again, take that as you would like)."   Returning to what His Love brought you out of the first time.  You will discover (or maybe already have) that it will not be the same.  Not because what "being bad" is to you has changed, yet you have changed.  All the "thrills" that are in sin, remain.  They are part of the sinful nature of the Unsaved.  Kayla your nature has changed.  Not that you are not already or will soon partake of the things in you past, you will feel their effects.  No matter what it may be, you will still get a "buzz" or whatever.  However, you have changed and you will feel that as well.

" I feel 100% disconnected from God "  All due respect I have to call you on this.  Because, He is still with you.  Whether you "feel" it or not.  Many, many years ago when, I was going through a time and I shared in part your mindset.  I was BLESSED with what that feels like to be disconnected.  To say I became desperate {not reckless, violent, or wild} but, cold, unprotected, hopeless, and so much more.  If I had  sackcloth I would have found or made ashes, and cried out to God.  I did do one of those things, when I Cried out to God change did not happen that second.  I had to see and work on things in me.  The Spirit Lead me step by step.  Was I really disconnected? I do not know for sure.  I do know I felt that way.

Kayla what I really want to say to you is this.  The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Love you beyond what you can understand here in this reality; this life we are living here on earth.  Sill, that does not change the Power of Their Love for you.  Allowing our flesh to lead us, so it gets its kicks, leads to emptiness and more.  You already know all of this however.  In your search for Love you found it with God; you saw it in the Actions of Jesus, and the Leading of The Spirit.  So many people are Praying for you right now, why?  Because you are Loved.  Never forget the prodigal son.  What brought you to God in the first place, will urge you to return, His Love for you.  We all have to surrender, we all must do whatever it takes.  As I said before, I have been where you say you are before.

In His Love 

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