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I know that many of you have told me that God only gives us that what he knows that we can handle that he knows how much we can take and how strong we are. But there are just some times when I just cannot seem to see the light at the end of my tunnel I am not asking for any fame glory or riches all I want is to have peace with my children and give then a good Christian life.  Teach them that with God in your life all things are possible but how can I teach something that I have been doubting for the past month now.  It just seem as if I am fighting an losing battle and the ones who will end up hurt at the end of all this will be my children who never asked to be born.  How many more horrible things must happen to me before I can start to see that light at the end? I know that God has a plan for me and his plan is perfect but sometimes this cross of mine is way too heavy to carry.   I just do not know what else to do I have cried, prayed, read and prayed some more but nothing seems to be changing things in my life just keep on going from bad to worst.  Why  is all this happening to me have I really been that bad of a person that I am paying for all the lies I have said  for the miss use of my gifts for all the pain I have caused my children? What is it that I must do to get any help?  All I ever wanted was to have a family to love to be able to live with one man until death took him from me that did not happen. Then I tried to move on with my life go back to schools, show my children that it is never late to follow your dreams and that with a lot of faith and trust all things are possible. Then when my now ex-husband took my car away I just looked at it as a way to getting more exercise, then when I lost a chance to getting a great job is thought well it was just not meant for me better things are to come for me and my children, but now that I have lost my chance to finish school I just feel like there really is no hope for me.  I just do not get it why is it that when I think that I have found my way into the light that something always happens that I feel so alone so lost without any hope that all that is happening to me is because I deserve it and because I have been a horrible person I must take whatever bad things may come my way. 

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Maritza, I've asked those same questions many times.  I've seen my ex and another prospering over my misfortune, those who are wicked prospering while I was struggling and suffering.  I have had one illness after another, have gone from having a decent income, to barely surviving.  And over 3 years I struggled with these things.  I still do at times.  And yet I'm starting to see where God is helping me with some things here and there, such as a new car, bonus, raise.  But for so long, it seemed everything was coming against me.  To an extent, some things still are.  And during this transitioning phase, waiting on God's timing, satan wants us to lose our hope and think we deserve what's happening.  But if you're honest with yourself, I'm betting that like me, you have good days and bad.  Just focus on the good ones the best you can.

Thank you so much

 Yes it seems as if your life and mine are two in the same and yes I have had good then bad days you are right I must focus on the good ones like today I had to miss work because I need to take my son to his frist therapy session. Sense I work for a temp agency I do not get paid sick days but the good thing is that I will be able to make up for it tomorrow.  Thank you so much your words are very comforting and they give me the strength to keep on moving forward may God bless you .

I have had the same thoughts before about deserving all the bad things that have happened to me. We can't expect all problems to be immediately solved and the answers are seldom easy. Your life isn't a hopeless waste. I pray things will soon get easier for you. I pray for God to send people who are able to rally around you and are willing to help you. You have already withstood so much. Don't quit now.

Thank you Amanda

It helps to be able to get out my feelings this helps me to get things out and see things from a different point of view.

I am still praying sis. There are many things you are going thru that I cannot relate to but I do feel the pain through your words. My heart sincerely goes out to you & my prayers will continue to go up. Love you

Thank you so much!

I know that the prayers are being answered sense I posted my thoughts many have been praying for me and my children and things are starting to look up for us. I thank God for all of those who are praying for me and may God keep on blessing each and everyone and your families O:)

 

Hi Maritza. I sent you a friend request. If you accept it I'd like to message you.

sorry that I had not accepted the request I have been really busy that I have not gone into my account to check my messages.

 

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