I like prayer. Okay, you can also ask God to point out where you could have handled things better. You can ask for help. However, the thing is, you have to be willing to listen. Because He will take you at your word and point out things. When you say you want to improve, you must mean it. When you vent, a good place to go is to Jesus. He's all ears. I've had some good cries with Him. He's the best. If you vent with Jesus first, then you aren't blasting someone. I find myself a lot calmer and more reasonable. (most of the time) God's not finished with me. I'm a work in progress.
Since I have been on this journey trying to find a solution to my anger and taking a step back instead of instantly reacting to the situation I find that I am in control more of my actions without having the lingering feelings of everything building up inside.
"I've tried Carla's suggestion to remove myself as much as possible but that so rarely works"
I know.. We're still in the world. It's more like a gentle reprieve, or just a breathe of fresh air....so it's temporary so that we can avoid becoming part of the 'frustrated' and 'irritated' problem. That's likely one reason why Jesus continually removed Himself to pray.
You're not alone with the reality of working through these things. It's something everyone is learning to overcome.
My husband and I occasionally attend professional sporting events. Inevitability, there is always someone in the stands who has had too much to drink, and is loud with offensive language. It's truly frustrating and irritating because each of us has the right to be there. We've all paid for our ticket with a reserved seat. When people gather in that close proximity there are always going to be irritations...sometimes the simplest irritation can be someone who is cheering for the opposing team. We all expect people to act, think, speak, a certain way... What is the 'certain way'? Do we expect them to be gracious, polite, kind, quiet.... I know I do. But that's not realistic.
The other day I was in the grocery store, and I guess my grocery cart was towards the middle of the aisle...I didn't realize, I didn't do it on purpose. There was no one else in the aisle that I noticed, and usually I am very aware so that I can pull my cart off to the side out of the way (it's a pet peeve of mine when people keep their carts in the middle of the aisle). So, out of nowhere, a man comes walking very quickly down the aisle, and hits my cart....he had enough room to go around it, but he hit it. I said "oh...I'm sorry"....but he just kept going. Then he turned around, came back and hit my cart again. It was very rude and bizarre. I started to feel the welling up of irritation and frustration.... But then I just kind of felt sorry for him. My thought was "Well....he only passed me twice in the grocery store aisle, but he's got to live with himself"
How difficult and time consuming it must be to be that miserable. He seemed to be in a hurry, and I've learned in my life (same as when driving)...when people are in that much of a hurry, let them go.
What about the ones who are slow?..... My husband gets frustrated with elderly people sometimes. I gently reminded him that elderly people have slower reaction times, and they are continually confronted with the reminder that they can't do the things they used to do. I know that feeling. I've been through things in my life that have temporarily slowed me down... I didn't know they would be temporary at the time, but we can learn a lot from people who have learned to slow things down.
The other day we were at a baseball game, and I overheard a guy in his young twenties complaining and expressing displeasure about all the kids that were at the ball game. He was completely irritated and frustrated that children were at the ball game!!!! That made me angry... I glanced at him in utter disbelief that he could be irritated by that. he didn't notice. His face was all red and distorted and angry. It was a very real frustration for him. As far as he was concerned, children did not belong at the baseball game.
Biblically, as God's children what do we do?
Pray...oh yes pray.
We have to continually realize a few things. The things that irritate us will seem like irrational irritations to others, so ultimately, the problem is our own. We can't change or fix anyone else, or cause them to be not irritated, because they have to deal with themselves. Thankfully sometimes people are just briefly passing by us....how can we somehow impact that brief 'passing by' positively?
Of course we know love is always the answer. We forgive, we show grace. Sometimes we get it wrong though....because maturity in the Lord takes time.
Patience... is the ability to embrace the time life takes.
I'm accountable for myself, and as frustrated as I get sometimes, it's not reasonable for me to expect certain behaviours from people who don't know the Lord. Maybe they do know the Lord....their journey belongs to them.
There are many opportunities to be frustrated and irritated in this world, which means there are just as many opportunities to shine.
Sometimes, I do my best to just alter the circumstances in which I can be frustrated, and therefore remove the trigger...
One thing we are starting to do at ball games is sit in the non-alcoholic section.
This won't always work, because we are still in the world. If we live in to the frustration and irritation that constantly surrounds us we become part of the problem...because most people are walking around frustrated and irritated.
I think the answer is to repent and acknowledge God's love for all people, and ask God to continually put the reminder in front of you so that you (we, me, all of us) will learn to see all people through God's eyes.
These are the people that Jesus died for. All of them. Every. single. one. And HE loves them beyond measure, He wants us to love them in that same way.
I think that's part of what Jesus prayed for in John 17. Since Jesus prayed it, God's going to answer it....at whatever cost John 17
21 that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may [f]believe that You sent Me.
Jesus wants our hearts and lives to be transformed so that we are one with HIM.
"SO that the world may believe that You sent Me."
Our lives are a testimony. Perspective is everything.
Hello Seek, I believe that God is not finish with any of us yet.Each and everyone of us have something we need to be deliverd from. I pray all the times for God to keep my mouth for say ungodly things my temper is not good and this is not God, well I read in God's word these kind come out through fasting and praying.I have really been trying, because I want to come subject to will of God.
Me, I just keep asking God....
I know we're not to question the creator, that you know more than we ever can, but just to put it out there on the table and I know you're not gonna answer unless you want to (He hasn't yet by the way), but....ok here it goes...
WHY OH WHY OH WHY are we to try and be good when we can't be good and sometimes don't even really know what good is? It's maddening. Wouldn't it be much simpler if when we called on you to change us you just spoke the Word...YOU ARE CHANGED! Then we wouldn't have to worry about any of it. Doing good would come naturally and all would be great. But then what do I know. If I'd created the world, I'd have likely ended up blowing up the universe and causing some catastrophic chasm event that swallowed the galaxy and sucked us all into a black hole.
Ok, back to what you were doing. I'm just in a very silly mood today.