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We all have ingrained habits we want to overcome. Let's say you are easily frustrated with certain people or get irritated during rush hour, you worry or are too introverted or too extroverted, have an issue keeping quiet...anything.

You try and do better and try and try. You let a trespass go and keep a Godly attitude, yet beneath the surface it bothers you and you pray. Next time, you remain Godly when someone does you wrong or gets on your nerves, whatever. But you still feel that irritation deep down and pray.

If you vent your frustration, then you're not displaying a Godly attitude but if you keep squashing down your real feelings, aren't you building up a ticking time bomb inside?

What's the best way to deal with these issues within yourself? What has worked for you where you genuinely overcame such an area where you didn't even have to choke a feeling down but just didn't experience it at all finally?

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I like prayer. Okay, you can also ask God to point out where you could have handled things better. You can ask for help. However, the thing is, you have to be willing to listen. Because He will take you at your word and point out things. When you say you want to improve, you must mean it. When you vent, a good place to go is to Jesus. He's all ears. I've had some good cries with Him. He's the best. If you vent with Jesus first, then you aren't blasting someone. I find myself a lot calmer and more reasonable. (most of the time) God's not finished with me. I'm a work in progress.

Love,

Mary

But that's my point. Doesn't nipping it build a frustration when you keep trying not to give in and yet it still eats at you in your mind even though you keep trying to stop those thoughts?

I used to have road rage bad myself. I don't act the way I did but I still get irritated when I'm staying with the flow which is exceeding the speed limit just to have someone come flying up the center lane wanting to jump right in front of one of us in a string of fast moving cars just to squeeze in at 90 mph and then brake so they don't hit the car in front of them. I find myself getting up closer to the car in front of me to stop them from cutting in. I try to remind myself that I used to drive that way. I think maybe it's a mother of five struggling to get the kids out the door and didn't get time to drink their coffee and they have a stain on their dress cause the baby threw up just as she's getting everyone in the car and there's no time to change clothes. And now she's late for a job that she's already on thin ice at.

I try that. Doesn't always help. And sometimes I still find myself irritated and not wanting to let them cut me off. I see some people who don't even bat an eye and seem to not even care about people doing this. They hang back and don't care if 10 cars cut in front of them. And I wonder what it takes to be like that.
I have the same issues. I am constantly getting frustrated, irate and have plenty close to me daily that get on my nerves. I have found recently (which this has been a long term issue) that by going in my room and closing the door and either reading the forums on here, or the bible helps to change my mindset. Giving me the peace I need to get things in prospective so I can see if it is worth a discussion or if I was just irritable and taking things wrong. (Which I sometimes find myself overreacting on a situation a lot) I have had a lot of health issues since 1999, and hormonal imbalance is a struggle all of its own. I had a hysterectomy in 2013, and even taking a hormone daily I still don't feel balanced. But I try to stick to James 1:19-20 My dear brother, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for mans anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Since I have been on this journey trying to find a solution to my anger and taking a step back instead of instantly reacting to the situation I find that I am in control more of my actions without having the lingering feelings of everything building up inside. By reading the word of God during those times it reminds me of who I am and where my loyalty lies and relaxes the voices in my head that are trying to get me to let the devil out and overpower all the work that God has done in my life.
Since I have been on this journey trying to find a solution to my anger and taking a step back instead of instantly reacting to the situation I find that I am in control more of my actions without having the lingering feelings of everything building up inside.

This is what I'm hoping for. I know sometimes I've been able to keep focused on God so that I didn't deal with irritation. But other times, I still deal with it and it rises up before I even think to take a step back. I just get tired of dealing with it.

I've tried Carla's suggestion to remove myself as much as possible but that so rarely works. It seems the more you try and limit it, the more it pushes it's way in regardless.

Maybe that's how it gets worked out of us but I keep hoping that it had already been worked out. I just get irritated over my irritation, if that makes sense.

I completely get the ball game scenario Carla. Though I don't like ballgames, I get aggravated that I sit to watch a G rated show just to have commercials about other shows that have language. They don't rate commercials. You'd think if you choose G rated, it's like choosing the non-alcoholic section.

Seek,

"I've tried Carla's suggestion to remove myself as much as possible but that so rarely works"

I know..  We're still in the world.  It's more like a gentle reprieve, or just a breathe of fresh air....so it's temporary so that we can avoid becoming part of the 'frustrated' and 'irritated' problem.  That's likely one reason why Jesus continually removed Himself to pray.

Hi Seek,

You're not alone with the reality of working through these things.  It's something everyone is learning to overcome.

My husband and I occasionally attend professional sporting events.  Inevitability, there is always someone in the stands who has had too much to drink, and is loud with offensive language.  It's truly frustrating and irritating because each of us has the right to be there.  We've all paid for our ticket with a reserved seat.  When people gather in that close proximity there are always going to be irritations...sometimes the simplest irritation can be someone who is cheering for the opposing team.  We all expect people to act, think, speak, a certain way... What is the 'certain way'?  Do we expect them to be gracious, polite, kind, quiet.... I know I do.  But that's not realistic.

The other day I was in the grocery store, and I guess my grocery cart was towards the middle of the aisle...I didn't realize, I didn't do it on purpose.  There was no one else in the aisle that I noticed, and usually I am very aware so that I can pull my cart off to the side out of the way (it's a pet peeve of mine when people keep their carts in the middle of the aisle).  So, out of nowhere, a man comes walking very quickly down the aisle, and hits my cart....he had enough room to go around it, but he hit it.  I said "oh...I'm sorry"....but he just kept going.  Then he turned around, came back and hit my cart again.  It was very rude and bizarre.  I started to feel the welling up of irritation and frustration.... But then I just kind of felt sorry for him.  My thought was "Well....he only passed me twice in the grocery store aisle, but he's got to live with himself" 

How difficult and time consuming it must be to be that miserable.  He seemed to be in a hurry, and I've learned in my life (same as when driving)...when people are in that much of a hurry, let them go.

What about the ones who are slow?.....  My husband gets frustrated with elderly people sometimes.  I gently reminded him that elderly people have slower reaction times, and they are continually confronted with the reminder that they can't do the things they used to do.  I know that feeling.  I've been through things in my life that have temporarily slowed me down... I didn't know they would be temporary at the time, but we can learn a lot from people who have learned to slow things down.

The other day we were at a baseball game, and I overheard a guy in his young twenties complaining and expressing displeasure about all the kids that were at the ball game.  He was completely irritated and frustrated that children were at the ball game!!!!  That made me angry... I glanced at him in utter disbelief that he could be irritated by that.  he didn't notice.  His face was all red and distorted and angry.  It was a very real frustration for him.  As far as he was concerned, children did not belong at the baseball game.

Biblically, as God's children what do we do?

Pray...oh yes pray. 

We have to continually realize a few things.  The things that irritate us will seem like irrational irritations to others, so ultimately, the problem is our own.  We can't change or fix anyone else, or cause them to be not irritated, because they have to deal with themselves.  Thankfully sometimes people are just briefly passing by us....how can we somehow impact that brief 'passing by' positively?

Of course we know love is always the answer.  We forgive, we show grace.  Sometimes we get it wrong though....because maturity in the Lord takes time.

Patience... is the ability to embrace the time life takes. 

I'm accountable for myself, and as frustrated as I get sometimes, it's not reasonable for me to expect certain behaviours from people who don't know the Lord.  Maybe they do know the Lord....their journey belongs to them.

There are many opportunities to be frustrated and irritated in this world, which means there are just as many opportunities to shine. 

Sometimes, I do my best to just alter the circumstances in which I can be frustrated, and therefore remove the trigger...

One thing we are starting to do at ball games is sit in the non-alcoholic section.

This won't always work, because we are still in the world.  If we live in to the frustration and irritation that constantly surrounds us we become part of the problem...because most people are walking around frustrated and irritated.

I think the answer is to repent and acknowledge God's love for all people, and ask God to continually put the reminder in front of you so that you (we, me, all of us) will learn to see all people through God's eyes.

These are the people that Jesus died for.  All of them.  Every. single. one.  And HE loves them beyond measure, He wants us to love them in that same way. 

I think that's part of what Jesus prayed for in John 17.  Since Jesus prayed it, God's going to answer it....at whatever cost John 17

21 that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may [f]believe that You sent Me.

Jesus wants our hearts and lives to be transformed so that we are one with HIM.

"SO that the world may believe that You sent Me."

Our lives are a testimony.  Perspective is everything.

Blessings, Carla

 Hello Seek, I believe that  God is not finish with any of us yet.Each and everyone of us have something we need to be deliverd from. I pray all the times for God to keep my mouth for say ungodly things my temper is not good and this is not God, well I read in God's word these kind come out through fasting and praying.I have really been trying, because I want to come subject to will of God.

Me, I just keep asking God....

I know we're not to question the creator, that you know more than we ever can, but just to put it out there on the table and I know you're not gonna answer unless you want to (He hasn't yet by the way), but....ok here it goes...

WHY OH WHY OH WHY are we to try and be good when we can't be good and sometimes don't even really know what good is?  It's maddening.  Wouldn't it be much simpler if when we called on you to change us you just spoke the Word...YOU ARE CHANGED!  Then we wouldn't have to worry about any of it.  Doing good would come naturally and all would be great.  But then what do I know.  If I'd created the world, I'd have likely ended up blowing up the universe and causing some catastrophic chasm event that swallowed the galaxy and sucked us all into a black hole. 

Ok, back to what you were doing.  I'm just in a very silly mood today. 

Yes there is God,s will but Jesus said pray......... And the master of the early church said by faith nothing is left un turned let us continue in faith and unity things will change..... Amen

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