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We all have ingrained habits we want to overcome. Let's say you are easily frustrated with certain people or get irritated during rush hour, you worry or are too introverted or too extroverted, have an issue keeping quiet...anything.

You try and do better and try and try. You let a trespass go and keep a Godly attitude, yet beneath the surface it bothers you and you pray. Next time, you remain Godly when someone does you wrong or gets on your nerves, whatever. But you still feel that irritation deep down and pray.

If you vent your frustration, then you're not displaying a Godly attitude but if you keep squashing down your real feelings, aren't you building up a ticking time bomb inside?

What's the best way to deal with these issues within yourself? What has worked for you where you genuinely overcame such an area where you didn't even have to choke a feeling down but just didn't experience it at all finally?

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  • Pray
  • Take time to clear the mind (i.e. get the frustration to subside as best as possible)
  • Address the person or situation (if warranted)
    • Not every situation requires addressing, but it is unhealthy to ignore the ones that do require addressing.
  • Know that in the end of the day you only control your portion of the situation and cannot control the outcome as other people have liberty to respond positively or negatively.
  • Do all you can to make right and make peace, then leave it in God's hands.

Amen LT

Seek, 

First and foremost, pray pray pray.  I was convicted of being very angry at someone.  I went into prayer and laid my heart before the LORD.  I laugh now when I remember what I said at first with my hands in fists...even mad that I had to pray about it, all the while feeling that I shouldn't have to...after all they were down right mean and hateful to me, I didn't deserve that! Well..............at least that's what I thought.

I'll never forget that day, EVER.  I started out in prayer thinking that I was so above what they did to me, until He filled it with love overflowing for that person, while at the same time revealing my own heart to me.  Stay in prayer as long as it takes.  Someone once said [can't remember who], but they said:  "You cannot hate someone that you are praying for."

More importantly, I was changed, not the situation or the other person, but me.  There is a peace that I can't describe that will fill you.  

You begin looking through different eyes.  I think of Peter....cutting off the soldiers ear, in the heat of the moment.  I imagine him to be such a strong fisherman, standing before Jesus with his chest kind of puffed out, saying how he'd never ever deny Him, then doing so as the cock crowed for the third time.  Then we do a fast forward to Peter throwing off his coat and jumping off the boat to see Christ after he was resurrected.  I imagine him gulping sea water, swimming as fast as he could towards His Savior. That's how I feel like some days....just swimming as fast as I can to Him, especially today.  

Then we get a Peter who was in the upper room and the disciples preaching the Gospel save 3,000 in that day, after they received the Holy Spirit.  Oh what a wonderful portrayal of God's glory.  

And even after that, Paul had to confront Peter publicly.  Keep pushing through by Prayer, the Word, and fellowship.

I can share about lies that I once believed but now no longer bother me, such as God does not love me and No one cares how I feel. Once they were replaced with truth and the truth became rooted within me, then the hold that the lies had on me was broken. That's more along the lines of being renewed in the mind (Romans 12:1-2). Also, I think it's about conquering strongholds (2 Cor 10:4-5). I had to struggle a lot with believing I wasn't good enough to be accepted and feeling like I would never measure up to expectations. Those things still bother me at times, as do many fears. It's just a constant battle. Lies and fears. They darken our foolish hearts. :(
I'm not referring to a person or what someone does to you, or even revelation on a belief, but overcoming a habit that you do pray constantly for deliverance on and yet the habit creeps up again and again. You try not to let it, you pray over it, yet it keeps grabbing you. Say you've always had a tendency to cry anytime someone says anything to you that you see as criticism. And you determine you will not cry next time but will realize constructive criticism and respond appropriately. Yet when the next time comes you find yourself in tears again because you feel the sting of the criticism even though it was meant to help.

Or say you are easily irritated or frustrated by people over little things. Things that don't really matter and shouldn't even get your attention but they do time and time again.

Or you determine you will not overspend and succeed, until the next trip to the store when you again find you overspent.

So many things are habits formed...worry, anxiety, impatience, etc. Have you truly and completely overcome one, or more of them and what was the changing moment or has it just been a gradual change that didn't really have a defining moment? Did it take months, years? Did you do anything for self help or just pray only? How did you finally turn around?
Habits are like addictions. There are many addictions, such as food, shopping, alcohol, etceteras. IOW, anything that becomes used excessively and is habit forming and therefore the person has developed a dependency on. Why do people become addicted? The roots are often found in painful childhood experiences. An addiction is a compulsive need to repeat an experience and can be physical or psychological. An alcoholic will have withdrawal symptoms and that is part of the physical addiction but the cravings for alcohol are part of the psychological addiction to it.

Generally, negative feelings are present and when followed to their roots, the main problem is what is believed.

I've been seeking to limit my caffeine. So I've been using decaf coffee. I make only one pot of regular coffee a day now, in the mornings, since my son is also a coffee drinker and the rest of the day it's decaf. I crave the taste but, also, it comforts me. That might sound weird, but I guess you've heard of " comfort foods" such as macaroni, chocolate, ice cream, and the reason people reach for them is because they feel sad ... It's the same for me only I reach for coffee for comfort. Loneliness, sadness, feeling down -- there are many reasons why people seek out comfort.

So, I'm not really giving up "my addiction" to wanting comfort but I know I'm addicted to caffeine, too, because I've been experiencing withdrawal symptoms after switching to decaf.
Maybe none of that applies to what you're talking about and if not then just ignore it.
Well one of the things that continually bothers me is irritability. Whether it is learned, a natural tendency, or due to medical causes I don't know. I just know I keep trying not to let little things get to me yet they do. I get so easily irritated and stressed by pressure or just every day things like people pushing their way in traffic, riding your bumper or cutting you off. I see some who don't even give it notice and just continue on but it irritates me. I keep praying, will turn up a gospel tune, even say aloud that that persons actions aren't worth my losing my peace. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Yet it's always AFTER I experience the irritation and then I feel bad. And sometimes I know it's there but hold onto it even when part of me wants to let it go. And that too is irritating. I've tried self help books, Christian books on overcoming, CBT, etc. And I'm irritated that I'm irritated. ARRRGGHH

I too get irritated about some of the same stuff continually. What I notice is that it reminds me to pray continually.  Pray for those that irritate me. Things that may cause me to think about wrong thoughts. Our flesh pulls at us but, we remain in prayer and vigil about what pushes our "buttons". LT hit the pattern of repair that I try to work on in his first comment. My weakness keeps me closer to God. Some great thoughts here for me from Watchman, Amanda and Seek. Love thinking about scripture and putting myself there in the moment with Jesus and the disciples. That helps me. 

Sure is nice having wonderful people in my life.

Thanks :-)

JMeister! Ya ole shyster! Glad to see your mug around here. :-)
It sounds like, to me, your irritability is provoked and you have a short temper since you are easily frustrated and easily provoked. Of course, medical conditions can cause it, such as an imbalance of hormones. I would recommend talking to your doctor about this. Other causes are stress,
anxiety, depression, and being bipolar. Since you're constantly struggling with it, then you have chronic irritability. Generally, anger is behind irritability.

To treat it you have to treat what is causing it. The things you mentioned are provoking it but are not its causes.

Of course, Jesus is the Great Physician, even for bad moods. Mark 2:17. It may be that what you need in this case is spiritual healing. Jesus is peace.

Let me hear what God the LORD will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints; but let them not turn back to folly. Psalm 85:8, ESV.
Well I've been on a birth control pills with estrogen and progesterone since I was 13, except for a couple of lapses. I started back on it about 5 years ago. Stress is a given. MAJOR stress. LOL But 8ve had this issue about as long as I can remember. It just didn't bother me before accepting Christ. Now it continually bothers me and I'm just wondering if anyone has dealt with anything similar and truly and completely overcame it.

Oh yeah. When I was taking it, the pill gave me all kinds of mood swings and other symptoms. The best thing to do is talk to your doctor. That's not all the pill controlled, but you'll thank me for not saying what it affected. My dr couldn't believe it either. Maybe there's a different prescription something not quite so strong? They've made strides recently, your doctor may have new and better ideas.

If it makes you feel better, I'm taking a medication that removes some of my filters. I've mostly said funny things. Thank the Lord!

Love,

Mary

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