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I know we are to honor our mother and father, but how and what does it mean when they are not believers?

I have had run ins with my parents over the last few years in regards to my faith. Yesterday, for example, I was asked how my work at a faith based outreach is going. I said fine and stated there is a lot of work to do. I was explaining to him and a friend standing near by how I needed to remove some games from the computers. Halo and some other killing game. His response was, " I think you are going overboard"

Of course I responded with, " you need to read the Bible". Not the best choice of words. His response was that we didn't need to go there because it wouldn't turn out well for either of us.

It doesn't matter what the conversation is about he will throw barbs at my faith and the fact that I do take everything to God. Even this problem.

So, how do you honor your parents when you feel the only way to tolerate them is not see them?

Blessings all,


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She's talking about me Amanda. And alienated, I have no clue as to what they were told. I was saying that I've been ask should they honor them if they've been sexually abused. I personally don't know what to say in that case because I've never been there. It's too sensitive of a thing for me to give an opinion.

Yes, Taminator. I see that now but misunderstood at first and thought alienated's questions were addressed as a response to my reply and the article I posted regarding how to honor an abusive parent. I also was answering this topic from the perspective of an adult child who asks how to honor parents. As far as a young child is concerned, I do believe there is an age of accountability when children become answerable to God and honoring parents is not required of a child who is too young to understand Christ as Savior and what sinning means. The article noted:

Please note that God’s command to honor even abusive parents does not in any way mean that an abused child should not report the abuse to the appropriate authorities. Civil authorities can be used by God to provide justice, protection, and healing. Reporting abuse is required of certain professionals and may serve to save the life of a child.

In my work history I have reported abuse before to authorities, mainly concerning the elderly who were dependent upon others for their care. I also know that children often do not feel safe enough to reach out for help when they are being abused so if anyone notices signs and symptoms it is very important to reach out to the child. Even then the child may never tell. This is definitely something where we do what we can and ask God for guidance and knowledge.

When I was going to church .... my mom and especially one of my brothers gave me a hard time. Everything I said or did was judged by him. Mama couldnt stand the tv preachers wanting money all the time so when she learned I was giving tithes to the church I attended she came unglued. My family was always pointing fingers at me saying how crazy i was or i shouldnt do this or that. I grew up a cusser. If I got upset at anyone i cussed badly. When I got saved I was aware of my mouth and tryed changing. I did pretty good. But everytime my brother came over he would ask me if I still said the "s" word . I was getting attacked from every direction simply because I was a christian. It was very difficult to honor them but for the most part I did. I did until one day I lost my temper and told them that that I not only could say the s word but i can say these other words too and i cussed like a crazy woman. I know that was dumb but still i understand it cpuld be difficult at times.

I really appreciate everyone's input and advice. Reading them  helped me immensely. I have come to conclusion.

Instead of being upset and wanting to avoid my parents I am going to "kill them with kindness". 

Someone said to me yesterday that I may actually be the problem. That being, my faith and belief in Christ and the Bible may be causing them to convict themselves and they feel threatened. If that is the case then responding in a negative fashion would be legitimizing their disbelief. 

I was wrong to shove it in their face. They know what I believe and how I feel. I just need to be more Christ like and let God fix this problem.

Thank you all for your input and advice. I will honor them by feeling sorry for them and not engaging in arguments. I may have to swallow my pride, there's that word again, that darn pride, but I will remember the wise words of my friend at AAG and the Word.

Blessings all,


Awesome Gary. Pride is rough when swallowed.

Hello Gary
As others have shared their views and the difficulties they also have. Although mine not perfect, I am Blessed with parents who have not made that a burden for me to honor them. In obedience to Father God we are told to honor them. I however believe it is more for our benefit, in many ways than theirs. Yes, it helps to show others respect. Respecting our parents does, help their view in how they raised us. On the one hand like mine they earned it, yet over the years and raising several children. I have seen when parents did not earn the right, yet they were given honor. I have seen how honoring changed, the behavior of parents.
But, back to my point of our benefit. As Christians we are best when humble. Also, best when we choose, as opposed to being humbled. Yet, really no matter how we get there, God works mightily through a humble heart. We add obedience to that humble heart, and Jesus has a wonderful canvass to be represented on. Many parents fail their children, sadly they do much damage. When we are Born Again, we discover in The Word how Father God views Honoring you Father and Mother. In the beginning many may only only be able to honor them, because of our obedience to God. I believe God backs up His Word, and what may have started in only being obedient to Him. He not only may give long life, "Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Ex 20:12 but He also may Bless us in many ways.
Even when parents betray their most sacred responsibility to their children, when they are honored they are given the opportunity the change and work at repairing what they broke. If, they change Glory to God and things can heal. If however they do not then, "“But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in Me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone hung around your neck." Mark 9:42
I believe it is on of the greatest gifts to be a parent. To those who do harm will be dealt with.
Also, honoring our parents does help us in our relationship to Father God, The Spirit will guide a obedient and humble heart, Jesus is the Greatest example in honoring His parents here, and His Father in Heaven. Lord Bless you Brother, may The Spirit shine brightly in your heart, and so you how best to honor your parents.

I just thought I would update my family at AAG on how things have gone since this posting.

Two weekend ago we spent the weekend with my parents at a casino. No, we don't go to them as a rule because we don't drink or gamble. My mom and dad pulled the," we wont be around for long" card so we went. We had a nice weekend and Georgene and I tried to show them Gods love by our actions and reactions throughout the weekend.

A week later, my dad called me before we left for church and asked me to pray for him. My church family did just that. Later in the week my dad went out and found a guy to donate some paint for the outreach center.

I attribute his change of heart to God alone. I do believe that your help and guidance along with my church family gave me the wisdom to handle this problem and I am now at peace with my father because of my Father.

Thank you so much. I love you all and am blessed to have found the AAG family.

Blessings all,


God is soooooooo coooooooool 

That's great news, Gary. May all of you have a Happy Christmas. As long as there is breath in the body, there is hope for the soul. It's hard to accept others sometimes and find reconciliation and restored relationships. Without God's help I believe it's virtually impossible. I have struggled over the past few years with relationships. I know the enemy will try to drive a wedge between two people every second that it becomes possible and we are driven apart by many different things that can seem too broken to be fixed. May the Spirit that lives within us give us strength and help us when we don't know what to do. Sounds like you did good. :)

Thanks sis. I pray you and everyone on AAG has a most blessed Christmas.

Happy Holydays.

Your blue collar Christian friend,



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