What you said reminds me of Philippians 1:6
6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
And amen to that,Carla! Healing is a process. :-) And it's a process that's so worth it.
I have no words of wisdom, Dekote. For that, I am sorry. I have been where you are and my heart is breaking for you. I just want to say I care about where you are and understand. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Crystal - A Wonderful and humane testimony!
>>...I said this is just a cruel joke. twisted, sadistic; he doesn't have to be joking, no one has to be joking.
I bet you don’t understand the way a gazillion things operate, but you don’t conclude they are evil or twisted, no, you try to follow the instructions and you find that with some direction you are able to understand. I know that is a poor comparison, because most things are exterior things, which do not hurt as this does not to understand. God placed eternity in your heart, so you could have the questions you have. However we fall into anger and the many other pits we can fall into instead of the Father’s arms. Yet – He loves you. Even with your anger, He loves you, even when you say you don’t care to live or for his love, He loves you. You just have to follow his instructions and try to reach him under his conditions. You can come how you are, but you must come according to his ways.
>>...A few problems with this:1) people who choose to have kids but can't no matter what...
No problems, like I said, we choose and then God decides on the back ground whether our choice comes to past or not. God has the last word, not us. If you wonder why that is, it’s simple; we are not perfect and seldom know what is best for us. He is perfect and holy and knows exactly what we need.
I will ask you again - Do you know if you are born again or not? Have you ever had a relationship with God? Did you ever experienced change from who you were?
>>Then God is a liar with his free will talk.
God does talk about the human will, for you do have one. By saying that you do not have free will, I am never saying that you do not have a will, you most certainly do have a will, but your will either belongs to God or is in bondage to sin.
>>So far I'm seeing both because I'm here and I know where I'm going.
You don’t have to go to hell, you can use your will to receive Christ as your Lord and Savior. You need to be saved if you are not. If you are born again, you need to ask that he restores you.
...I don't have a will of my own!
You are pretty smart, so I do not know why you insist on making such silly statements. You are using your will to do what you are doing, so I do not understand how you can negate what you are experiencing.
>>There is no point because I don't have a choice, I do what he says or I'm torchored forever; everything I'll ever do is pointless, dead or alive, because it doesn't matter.
You have a choice; you are making a choice by what you are writing. Yes, you will be torched forever if you do not make the right choice. Your choices matter eternally. You choose, choose God or Self. I encourage you to choose God. You will be able to understand your situation, you will find answers to life’s most important questions and you will see God for what He is, not fully, but we see enough of him to fall deeply in love with him.
God made you, you are right about that and He is the one behind your situations for you are not an accident or forgotten. There is a purpose for all you have gone through and that purpose is holy and perfect, but is up to you to surrender to God’s agenda or to continue with your reasoning abilities.
...Repent for what, the sin he put me in?
No, the sin you choose.
You agree with me that I didn't ask to be here, so what do I have to repent for?
For the poor choices you are making and the sin you commit every day. God is not making you sin, you are doing very well all by yourself. You are an expert at sinning that is obvious. So you need to repent of your sin. God is not making you sin or anyone else. God has actually given us all we need to live free from all our anger, insecurities and fears.
>>The thing he put me on a default setting for? And I don't complain, I just hate.
Well hating has not help on soul ever, so good luck with that. No one is holding you back from a beautiful life but yourself. Your selfish desires and hateful attitude. You should hate the sin that enslaves you not the one that can and wants to set you free.
>>I can care less about any of this! I'm complaining because he put me here, knowing that I'm going to hell, and won't answer not one of my questions! I'm not complaining about anything else, just the pointlessness of making me!
You are not the only one in that boat. All of humanity is heading to hell unless God saves us. He is calling you, He is saying today is the day of salvation, come to me. Will you come? Come now and drink of the living waters.
>>His silence is the answer..
God is not silence, not even close. He is always speaking.
>>Verbal communacion, through a dream or just in my head, not out of a book I can't understand!
I was talking about God talking to us in our head and spirit knuckle head not just through his word. Do what He calls you to do and then you will hear him.
>>I never had a choice in any of this and I have to live forever in pain or with him... selfish, lying, I hate him!
Well your hate does not hurt God. It hurts you; it hurts the ones you are ungrateful for. You do have a choice; you are lying when you say you don’t. You have a choice now. Yes, I know, but your escape goat of not having a choice of being here is so, so comfortable, you didn’t have a choice about existing, well you do exist, so you have a choice to embrace the one that can help you get over yourself, you do exist, so what choice will you make. You are not alone in your sufferings. Show me one person who has not suffered.
What kind of music do you listen to?
I have a few verses to share with you, if you don't mind. They don't answer your questions, but perhaps they will give you a little something to hold onto as you go through this battle.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
Joshua 1:5 I will not leave you nor forsake you.
You may be angry at God, you may have doubts stronger than beliefs, you may believe God isn't with you right now. I've been there. You may laugh at the verses right now. I have a poster with the verse from Joshua on my door. I'm not really sure why I left it there. There were days I looked at it and almost laughed at it and thought, I should take that down. But deep inside me, I held onto that verse. Although in my conscious thinking, I was mocking it, deep down a small piece of me held onto it. I look back now and realize it was true. In my darkest hour, when I felt God had completely left me and He did not care for me....He was there. He never left me. I did not feel Him, the sound of His name made me want to scream. I saw other Christians living in joy, "Why have you left ME Lord?" "Why are they living such rich and joyful lives when I want nothing more than do just die?" Near the end, before God rescued me, I believed He had turned His back on me completely and I was going to hell no matter what I did. I spent most of my life walking on the line of suicide. Many times the fear of going to hell kept me from doing it. But at this point, I believed I was going to hell no matter what I did. I believed God did not love me anymore and could not understand why he did not just go ahead and take me and throw me into hell. Because I believed that was my ultimate fate and there was nothing I could do to change that. I am 36 (almost 37) years old. For those 36 years, I have lived in pain. It seemed unfair to me that I should have to live, what I felt like was hell on this earth, then be forced to live eternally in hell. How could a God of love cause someone to suffer so greatly from childhood on, then condemn them to hell? I was were you are. I have a 36 year long testimony. There is so much I could share. I want you to know that I have been set free from the pain of my past. Matt 18:14 In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish. It was one month ago, today, that I was at the lowest point in my life. I was dangerously close to death and hell. I don't know if you want to or not, but feel free to read my testimony on my page. It goes a lot deeper than what I have posted, but I only go into details as the Lord leads me. If you want to talk to me, please message me. I am here if you need me. I pray for you constantly, because I see me in you. Broken and full of pain.
Jesus' words-----Matt 27:46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”
If I may say my opinion. I think I [now I'm not claiming to know the mindset of God,this is just my opinion] the reason God doesn't appear verbally or face to face.
Because Satan is able to mimic God. He could easily pretend he's God and deceive you. Satan comes as an angel of light. That's why we have the Bible. If anything says the opposite of the Bible it has to be discarded. But if someone doesn't have the Bible they're an open target for Satan and his demons.
Look at Joseph Smith. He founded Mormonism. He thought he seen God but he didn't see Him because it was ether Satan or a demon. Not only was Joseph deceived but so many more has followed him.
That's why, in my opinion, God won't show up verbally or whatever.