Can I Vent

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Captain Coltonoro on April 13, 2013 at 6:42am

When they say, You will be OK. I say: nahhhh really??? I think I am dying, order a casket please.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 13, 2013 at 8:42am

Ok family, first of all I think you all know that I love you very much. Second of all, I think everyone here knows I love to teach, for I been called to teach, so I teach.

 

A year before I met my wife I was engaged to be marry, I got a call one day that my fiance would have to have brain surgery because of her cancer. She was a traveling nurse and the surgery would have to be done outside the country, at the time I could not fly to her side. So I waited for the call, I received a called that she was in comma. My church and all my friends and family were praying, after three days I got another call that she had moved on to be with our Lord.

 

By God's grace and for His glory, God gave me the strength the following weekend to stand before the congregation I was co-pastoring at the time and say that God gave and God had taken away. My mother lost her sight, she is a beautiful Godly woman who is more joyful than people with sight, my father is on his last days, but non of it tears me to pieces. Yes I am telling you I am super man, the man of steel. Naw, not even close. I have cried, I will miss my parents, but I and them are eternal. To die in this life, to this life, is to truly live. To physically die to this world, for the born again, is to truly live.

 

No where have I said that we should not weep with those that weep, no where, no where have I said that we must be cold as steel and indifferent to the real pain of loosing a love one. but I am still harping on this one thing -With Christ - all things are p0ssible, the things that would have destroyed me before, in Christ hold no power over me anymore. God has kept me, my Lord has strengthened me through it all. I don't get it, why is it so offensive to have someone declare biblical truths.

 

Why do the  brothers and sisters that don't get overwhelm in Christ by the cares of this world get told they are arrogant. I will not stop my boasting on the Lord. My brother Roy has seen me without a dime to my name, but I think he will tell you I did have a smile on my face. I boast on my Lord. I am human and Roy can testify to that fact also. Yes beloved family there were times that I did not know what I would do, no car, no job, but God was right there with me. My hope was in my Lord and my Lord is faithful. I boast on the power the Holy Spirit gives us to stand when all seems lost.  

 

2 Corinthians 4

 

1Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.  2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.  3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.  4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.  5For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.  6For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”^a made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.  12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

 

Through this discussion my desire has been to remind us of the truth we believe.

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Tammy on April 13, 2013 at 9:37am

Again, it doesn't sound like you're boasting in the Lord brother. I know u love us as I do you. However, I do believe you have a huge dose of humility coming your way. I may be wrong & truly hope that I am but when you have to constantly remind us that you're boasting in the Lord, you're not boasting in the Lord. When He's getting the praise, you shouldn't have to keep trying to remind us that He's getting the praise.

Another reason you sound so "all about me" is you told us all that we need to all reach the maturity level you was at & not allow things to offend us. Does that sound like it's you who is mature or the Lord in you? Sounds a little bit like boasting about self from where I sit.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 13, 2013 at 9:56am

Tammy, David is sincere in that he is boasting in the Lord and not self and he is making judgments, as you are, too. Both of you are making judgments about how each of you should respond individually to your own loss and sorrow. We must let people be who they are. None of us are completely mature in Christ yet.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 13, 2013 at 10:54am

Tammy,

 

I am not here to defend whether I am boasting on self or the power of God in my life. I have been alive long enough to know that I will never please everyone and that the best of intentions can be warp in people’s minds, so this is not my attempt to defend myself, but I find the topic an important one. Important enough to continue to give it my best shot with my limited vocabulary to try to get the point I believe God is trying to get across to his people through me, yes me, an imperfect vessel. So if I fumble the words here and there or don't use the exact or best word, you all exercise patients with me.  

 

What I see in the Word of God is men and women who by God's presence/reality in their lives have attained even through their frailties eternal truth so deep in their hearts that their responses to the trials of life are different than what they were before Christ/God was in their life’s, we can change, God changes us. He is able to take the scariest cat and make him a warrior.

 

Our responses, fears, insecurities ARE suppose to change to Godly reactions. We love the verses that say that we are more than conquerors but we think of those living that freedom as boisterous etc... What in the world... this is what we believe isn't.

 

If I am failing at something in my walk, I get a hunger to learn how to overcome that.  God how can I be mature in that area? How can my reaction, yes, indeed, change? I don't have to continue to live as if I have no God. I don't have to be broken to pieces when a love one dies even if I am by nature extremely sensitive. God changes us, his word is alive. His word is truth.

 

I wonder what many would think if we started to talk like Paul who knew exactly who He was because of the power working in him. "Paul an Apostle an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God"

 

David Velasquez a teacher preacher by the will of God. Wow!!! I can hear the people now say, who in the world he thinks he is, he is full of himself. The nerve of that man. God is going to have to humble him. What??? And a million times, What?? Are we so defeated and weak in our walk that instead of rejoicing with those that God has blessed with the assurance God himself has promised us all, this brothers and sisters seemed alien to us? I am not referring to anyone in particular here, but the Church in General.

 

We can know great peace through it all, regardless of what our natural responses were before Christ. Christ changes us. He matures us.

 

I lack the verbiage to truly get across what my Lord places in my heart, what I truly would like to express.

 

I don't think this message conveys what I feel what God has placed in my heart to get accross, but at the very least you guys are my training ground haha for me to learn how to get it accross in the future and for that I am very thankful. This are touchy topics, dealing with very real issues, I don't want to run from such topics, but I do want to learn how to discuss them better and get the truth of God accross in a way that is easily understood.

 

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 13, 2013 at 9:49am

David, none of us are immune to trials and tribulations, sorrows and sickness in this life. It sounds like you've had many. What I see going on in this discussion is that EVERYONE is asking everyone else to go against their natural inclinations and try to change their personality so that all will experience losses the same way. 

Yes, we are children of the light but we each still have our very own personality which is unique. It means I can't make judgments about you and how you respond to losses and tell you you are doing something you shouldn't (unless it is outright sin) and I can't decide for you about your choices. I can't tell you how to respond to your losses. 

Neither can you tell me what my response ought to be (unless it is outright sin). Some people are private and they are not comfortable talking to others and maybe for them reading and just listening to others is helpful. Some people are not "criers" and they shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not crying. It doesn't mean they aren't hurting. 

I'm not good at talking, so writing helps me. Don't tell me not to cry or to try to forget. That isn't helpful for me. Unless I'm dangerous to myself or others, let me express my feelings openly without fear of being judged, criticized, or ridiculed. That is what is happening here. Judgments are being made by you and against you as well. I can't tell you what you should be feeling, thinking, saying, doing ... as far as how to express your grief.

It helps people when others feel their loss, too. We need to feel and express our pain. I think in your case, you are able to fully express it quickly. That's wonderful. Others aren't able to express it at all and end up hiding all their pain and saying they are fine when they aren't fine. 

When you stood up in church and said those words, I don't think you were trying to fake it and be strong or trying to protect the people around you by hiding your pain. I think you were genuine. But it may take some people a few years to heal to that point. We must follow our own timetable and even God let's us do that much. And some people find themselves twenty years later just beginning to grieve over a loss because when it first happened they had to rush their feelings and couldn't take time to heal. So they suppressed it. But that's a different discussion. Venting is definitely NOT suppressing.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 13, 2013 at 11:20am

Amanda,

 

>>What I see going on in this discussion is that EVERYONE is asking everyone else to go against their natural inclinations and try to change their personality so that all will experience losses the same way. 

We have the capacity in Christ to change our natural inclinations to align to Godly responses not just in how we experience loss, but in all things.  We are to be different people from what we were before Christ in all areas of our lives.

 

I do not respond to anything the way I did before Christ and in those areas where I do still struggle, I long to be like Christ. Even our mourning changes in Christ. Everything changes in Christ. That is exactly my point. I have no desire for people to mourn like i do or to respond to the millions of scenerios we can discuss like I response, but to respond like Paul did, like Peter did, like Jesus did. Yes, it's a long life process, but don't kick against the process, imbrace it. Not talking directly to you Amanda, but to the Church of Christ here in AAG and around the world.

 

I cannot tell anyone what their responses should be, but God tells us all. Do we bring him glory with our reactions or not? If we don't, how do we get to the place that we do, should be the following discussion.

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 13, 2013 at 12:13pm

David,

The Bible doesn't teach that mourning the loss of a loved one or any other kind of loss is wrong. In Luke 7:11-17, a large crowd was with the widow, whose son had died, during a funeral procession. Jesus told her not to weep, but not because she was doing something wrong. His heart was filled with compassion for her because of her loss and He raised her son back to life again. If anyone understands grief, pain, and loss, it is Christ.

The Apostle Paul said, "Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13) but the instruction does not say do not grieve at all. We are just not to grieve as those who have no hope. 

Jesus said, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (Matthew 5:4) and Romans 12:15 says, Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. I never considered that Matthew 5:4 was not talking about mourning for other types of losses but it would seem that the same principle would apply in all cases of mourning since it is a blessing to have people comfort you.

I strongly disagree that Christ doesn't want us to experience grief because it is an emotion which the Creator has given us. In the OT some signs of mourning were rending the outer garments, wearing sack cloth, strewing earth or ashes, cutting or shaving the hair and beard, and fasting. 

It was Job's response when he lost his children. It was not a wrong response. If you had stood in front of your church in sackcloth and ashes while saying the Lord gives and the Lord has taken away, then God would have been OK with you expressing your sorrow that way. People likely wouldn't. We know, as the reader, that Job is righteous because we read in the prologue of the Book of Job (the first two chapters) the conversation between God and Satan. We know the reason Job is suffering is because he is righteous and Job continued to do what was right even though he was suffering. His acts of mourning were not sinful at all. 

In Job 42 God tells Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken the truth about me, as my servant Job has."

We love and therefore we mourn for the loss of our loved ones but not as those who have no hope for our hope in Christ Jesus comforts us. That is all so true. When our acts of mourning turn into sin, Holy Spirit will convict us. BTDT. Let the Spirit do His work in us as you continue to be an instrument and mouthpiece of righteousness used by God. You're trying to tell people that they are sinning when they are only responding to their losses in a different way than you respond. We are works in progress. When our response becomes sinful, then admonish us. God most definitely will. But until then, how do you know God isn't being glorified by it?

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 13, 2013 at 12:23pm

PS God is not turning us all into the same personality. We are becoming Christlike but each of us will retain our own soul. I understand the soul to be the mind, will, emotions, and intellect and we are being renewed but I will still be Amanda and you will still be David but one day we will each be perfect. I will be a perfect Amanda and you will be a perfect David.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 13, 2013 at 1:13pm

 

Amanda -

 

Yes - God is not turning us all into the same personality, but what does personality have to do with responses that bring God glory or responses that lead people to say, where is your God? We can respond to anything that comes our way in a Godly way or in a fleshly way. I still have first reactions that are fleshlier than Godly, but I long to align those reactions to the reality of Christ in my life.

 

As a people we are a peculiar people. We are the people of God and we are to be different, those differences do unify us within the family in Christ to have common responses to trials and tribulations.

 

We are not supposed to respond to anything the way the world does. A Christian is not suppose to be devastated by the death of a love one as if we have no hope, but when the death happens we are at times devastated, but we learn, we mature, we see God's faithfulness and maybe next time we do not respond the same way.

 

This is an important topic for me, one that I have wanted to bring up for a while, but God has told me multiple times that it was not the right time.

 

In Christ there is strength and there is freedom from the cares of this world. Our responses change in Christ.  

 

 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Amanda on April 13, 2013 at 2:11pm

Did it ever occur to you that grief itself glorifies God? We are submitting to His Sovereignty knowing that He controls life and death and gives and takes away. We are relying on what He has given us for the cure of what hurts us. Grief is the cure! Through mourning we heal! It's how God has equipped us to heal. To grow numb or deny the pain only prolongs it. Maybe that's why many are still grieving years later. They tried to smile and be joyful when it was time to mourn. Nevertheless we can't call it sin or spiritual immaturity even in that case. It just means they are still hurting and still need healing. What's wrong with this?

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on April 13, 2013 at 2:58pm

 

I believe because I have known this truth in my life and seen it in the life of others as LT has disclosed, that we are capable of being strengthen by our Lord to a place where there is hardly any grief, there is only an assurance that this age is coming to an end and the new heavens and the new earth is soon to come.

 

Through eternal principals of the word of God we heal, not through morning, mourning is mourning. God's word heals us.

 

I have not grown numb or denied the pain, (not saying that you think I have), but the pain has no t over taken me. God's truths have remained real in my life in very difficult times. There remain areas where I lack that godly assurance and response, but God is working in me to help me mature in those.

 

My joy has been sincere in times of trials, not because of my own strength, but the power of God has blessed me those times. I know is possible for us to grow and mature into beautiful and strong people of God. I am not there yet, but I have tasted of that fruit of the Spirit and I want more.

 

:)

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• …
• 11
• Next ›
• Page