United we will answer the silent cry

Bang!! ! there it is again, im down on my knees, with my head in my hands,
I stumble to my feet weaker then before, my head hurting, ears ringing and my spine killing.
I can see the light in the darkness that surrounds my life knowing that I will never reach it in time
my body is so weak and heavy, I find it hard to breath some times, the pain it hurts so much I think im dieing, my head is so full of noise it going to explode.
I feel so alone in this world of mine, walking around like his, if only I didn’t build so many walls but some people build them to keep people out, and some to see who cares enough to try and knock then down…
it coming…I can feel it, it start in my neck then down my spine…then Bang it shoots back up into my head then whack, im down on my knees shouting…why me…please?
the stars in my eyes blind me and the noise in my head deafens my senses, I cant breath this is the end…..?
slowly I come around, I crawl toward the light, trembling like a leaf in the wind.
cant describe this feeling inside, lost and confused, alone and unique, just to try and name a few.
I feel sick
, oh so sick why me!! !
I collapse to the floor in a heap, to weak to carry on, just wishing I was dead.
As I lay there crying in intense pain all I can see and hear is my kid smiling faces saying I love you daddy…
what remains of my heart sinks even deeper into stomach, making me sick.
Iv got to get up and keep moving, if not or me then for my little angles…iv got to find the strength!! !
my hearts is beating faster then the time before, as I try to stand up I collapse…im so weak…
I finely find my feet thou still wobbly I carry on, iv got to keep fighting…iv got to be a survivor not a failure for my kids…
I wouldn’t wish this feeling the worst person in this wicked world we all share.
I know it wont belong till it comes back around, so iv got to keep moving to make up some ground.
Cold and alone, with no comfort in site.
so this is my life, and this is were im shore im destend to stay hoping to reach that distant light some day.
this is just one grain of sand on a beach, called my life…this is me….this is my life…

author unknown