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All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

i definately fall in this category,my time on earth has been rough,i will mention this on here because i feel that i will hopefully be understood better by fellow believers.back when i was a child i was shy and very withdrawn.in pe classes the other kids would tease me and verball abuse me while the pe teacher did nothing.when i was 8 yrs old my mom had her first nervous breakdown,when i was 11 yrs old she had her second nervous breakdown,then when i was 13 she had a head on collision accident.i was the only child and my father wasnt in the picture so these were critical times.my so called aunts didnt help or take me under their wing.they were upset i was missing school more than me being upset by moms situation. when i was 10 my so called aunt wouldnt take me to mcdonalds,when i was 12 this same aunt wouldnt get me a soda in august as we all know is hot outside. another one of my so called aunts kicked me out at 15. my moms brother is a joke no help at all just letdowns,at 17 i was expelled from school but later got my hs diploma.at 19 i was robbed at home in a home invasion and no one would let me stay with them.ive had run ins with cops and most of the time it was over misunderstanding,i did nothing illegal,i was stereotyped in the emergency rooms at hospital. when i was 15 i tried being a people person,but the lady at dmv and the mall were rude to me which leads to me not saying much to people in person unless they say something to me first. i do most of my communicating online and through letters by mail.i was married for 5 yrs,but the relationship ended because my x lied about her family and i was treated bad by them in law problems.i want to move on the problem is no where is hiring me and do to circumstances im living at home.most females are turned off by guys in these situations.but id love to be in a new relationship and get on my own and lead my own life.then my mom has health issues,she smokes,on oxygen,uses  a walker and is hardheaded. people tell me to take care of her but i got my own life.im not supposed to be in her shadow forever,plus some females like guys that are tight with their moms while others are against it.ive been doing applications online,in person,workforce central florida,vocational rehab no luck the type of work id like to do are stock clerk,personal trainer,model,warehouse,or youth minister or mentor. i thought of stripping or porno but those are degrading,ive thought of the military,plus going back to school but im defaulted in a loan.it just seems like roadblock after roadblock.last year alone in may was rough not only did my grandmom who helped raised me died,but that was also when my x and i called it quits.i keep turning to christ and god to get me through this but i admit its frustrating.i just want the normal things in life job,financial blessing,my own place,the right female partner and i wont lie sex as well.i can use a prayer.ive been attending church since late nov and started to pay my tithes since jan every sunday.hopefully that will lead to additional blessings.its not christ or god,its the people who misunderstood me,along with satan plus the roadblocks that are annoying. thanks for reading this and hearing me out.

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