I would like to thank everbody for such a nice welcome.

I am trying to reach god and I pray numerous times throughout each day. I am separated for 3 months. In a strange turn of events my Christian wife left me, and so Far I am as they say a semi type believer. Let me first say I did not commit adultery which the bible describes as a reason for divorce. I have no real evidence that my wife has commited adultery either. The only fact I can go on is after 6 weeks I decided I better try and find her. I found her at another mans house which was exactly where I hoped she would not be. I felt so violated and got so emotionally upset, I made threats. I just could not control my tongue and that may be the reason I have lost any chance for communication.

I have had no news of anything since this separation started. It's a feeling of like losing a child in the mall. Absolutely no-one will tell me what is going on, maybe they just do not know except a very few. Possibly the blackout is to create tension. I read that secretive persons use this method to control. I find it odd that a Christian woman would like to make another suffer. I pray to God to give me patience and relieve anxiety.

There was no physical fighting between us, but there were words and as I have the construction type personality. I suppose my words would seem abusive to someone not used to that type of display. It wasn't name calling either, I just am too forcefull when I have built up enough anger.

I would say that my purpose is to reach God and see if he can help recconciliate this marriage. I have read quite a bit of new testament including 1 Corinthians. Malachai says god hates divorce.1 Corinthians explains under what conditions God allows divorce. Nevertheless with all the scripture, I myself want to honor the vows I made before God and witnesses.

This marriage was two and half years old. I am working with a pastor who has sent a person to help me with discovering the gospel. I am studying and praying continously but I just cannot shut my mind off thinking about my lost partner.

I am sure this may be normal for the divorcee. Oddly I do not know if this affects the divorcer that much. Maybe the divorcer has moved on long before and is already into a new relationship which consumes all thier fantasy and energy.

So I ask God to help. We cannot control other people but God says do not give up hope. I hope God hears me.

Thank you all for the warm greetings and for reading this.

Amen