All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

How Do You Know?

This is my first blog entry here. I really do not now where to begin. I have alot of questions on my mind. I am not new to being a Christian. I know who my God is and I know that in all things, He has my back. I know that I am saved and I know that when my time is up, I will be spending my days sitting at the feet of Jesus. This makes me extremely happy!

But with that, comes alot of questions. I think my first would be, How do you know your living right? With things in my daily life just completely going crazy, I have to ask myself what am I doing wrong? I don't drink, smoke, drugs, adultery, steal, cheat...I wake up with God on my mind and He is there all through out my day. So what exactly am I not doing right? Why are all these crazy bad things happening to me and my family? I am terrified to question Him. I get so frustrated that I want to scream and ask Him just what in the world was on His mind when he let this or that happen. But I am scared to!

So where do I find answers? I read my daily devotionals, I read my bible. I praise Him in song daily and I thank Him for all that I do have even when things are bad. But when things are really bad, I feel like I am begging Him to make it stop! I don't understand how long we are supposed to go through trials. This seems like it has been going on in my life now for 24 years. I know that the problems we have had financially have been our own doings. But the past 4 years we have rededicated our lives and began to live completely for Him. But the trials continue to come our way. So my question is....How do you know He is going to answer ? How do I know that these trials will end and how much does He intend for us to go through before we are gathered up from this deep valley and sat on the mountain?

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Comment by carol kinard on February 29, 2012 at 11:39am: Thanks guys for the comments. Grazer all you said made sense. It really did but I still have no idea what to do. I have admitted where I went wrong, I have learned from my mistakes and I have just given it over to Him. But as things progress, bills pile up and I see no hope in sight, I wonder just what is going to happen? It makes me want to scream at Him and ask "cant you see what we are going through?" I don't want to be anry with God, I really don't. I feel ashamed that I am. But how am I supposed to feel? I thought that after I just had a break down and just told Him how I felt and said here it is, please handle it, that I would feel some peace. I am not finding that peace. I am so worried. I feel like I've just been forgotten. Although deep in my heart, I know that He has not forgotten me. That I have a wonderful family, great kids, loving husband and we are all together shows me that He hasnt forgotten me. But then the worry, stress and stuff is starting to wear on mine and my husbands health. Mentally and physically we are wore out. I beg for Him to take the envy and jealousy from my heart when I see how well others are doing. I feel so guilty for ever wanting anything material wise. But then on the other hand I ask is it so wrong to want a decent home of our own? Is it wrong to want a dependable vehicle that my poor husband doesnt have to work on all the time? My daughter had an accident in January and it is doubtful the insurance will cover it. If it doesnt, we will honestly loose what little we do have. I lost my job in August and haven't been able to find one since. That puts our income 1200.oo less a month than what we were making. We are a family of four and it is normal for us to only be able to spend 40.00 a week on groceries. I mean honestly, we are sitting on rock bottom. I do not know just how much more I can take, no I take that back. I cant take any more. It makes me wonder if God listens to begging?

How Do You Know?

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