All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Defacto Relationships (living together and not married)
Im posting this because i think it may help people who are in a De-facto Relationship (living together not married).
As one who is in a De-facto relationship myself and we have children I think we must look at all the Bible says about the matter (and not our own man made opinions) after all it is the Law.
First lets look at what the Law says:-
1 Corinthians 7
9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
(this passage is not saying separate them and force them to contain themselves.)
The TRUTH is that the final outcome of a Defacto relationship must be marriage. My partner and I intend to get married this is the key difference between the two matters of fornication and defacto relationships. Also fornication seems to be more of a uncommitted frolic of human pleasure.
The next thing I look at is when we are called to God in or current state of a defacto relationship does he expect us to leave our home, our children, and separate in order to marry rite away which could ultimately destroy our families!!! I think not. (remember all we have is given to us by God including our CURRENT relationships and children)
1 Corinthians 7
18Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
24Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
Is this not saying you are called to God in your current state, Defacto or married?
28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.Ok , so now we have seen that there are passages which reflect this current state of confusion in such a matter. Bless God for making sure all our needs are met in the truth of the Bible. In closing defacto relationships only acceptable AS LONG, I repeat, AS LONG as the intention to marry is carried out as per the above passage states and we were in them when we were called to God.
I need to make it clear here that is you are single and called to God, you then know the TRUTH and must marry first you don’t go out and make yourself a Defacto relationship.
As one who is in a De-facto relationship myself and we have children I think we must look at all the Bible says about the matter (and not our own man made opinions) after all it is the Law.
First lets look at what the Law says:-
1 Corinthians 7
9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
(this passage is not saying separate them and force them to contain themselves.)
The TRUTH is that the final outcome of a Defacto relationship must be marriage. My partner and I intend to get married this is the key difference between the two matters of fornication and defacto relationships. Also fornication seems to be more of a uncommitted frolic of human pleasure.
The next thing I look at is when we are called to God in or current state of a defacto relationship does he expect us to leave our home, our children, and separate in order to marry rite away which could ultimately destroy our families!!! I think not. (remember all we have is given to us by God including our CURRENT relationships and children)
1 Corinthians 7
18Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
24Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
Is this not saying you are called to God in your current state, Defacto or married?
28But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.Ok , so now we have seen that there are passages which reflect this current state of confusion in such a matter. Bless God for making sure all our needs are met in the truth of the Bible. In closing defacto relationships only acceptable AS LONG, I repeat, AS LONG as the intention to marry is carried out as per the above passage states and we were in them when we were called to God.
I need to make it clear here that is you are single and called to God, you then know the TRUTH and must marry first you don’t go out and make yourself a Defacto relationship.
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Comment
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Comment by Leonard T on February 3, 2009 at 5:23am
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Barbara,
Your definition and understanding falls short of the Biblical definition regarding sexual immorality. In doing so, you are able to attempt to justify that two people in love can have sexual relations outside of marriage and not be guilty of sin. The two verses above that I posted do recognize sexual immorality as acts of wickedness (sin), that is the whole point. You simply do not believe that it applies to a non-married couple who gets saved because they were in that situation before salvation. Your hope is based on their intent of future acts rather than aligning with God's Word as soon as it is made known to them regarding a subject.
An alcoholic is a great example and very relevant. Drunkenness and sexual immorality are both sins.I have known many alcoholics, some from within my own family. After coming to Christ some were set free immediately from the sin. Others battled it for years. Not one of them ever thought it was not sin, but in flesh failed repeatatively to stay sober. The Word of God is clear on sexual immorality, yet you choose to tweak it to fit a situation and thereby relieve any guilt that is associated with it.
Whether you believe me or not, I understand your concern regarding your situation. I realize that what is asked of you by Scripture is not easy. I also realize you profess Christ as your Savior and I treat you as a sister in the Lord. My intent is for your good, not judgment or condemnation of you. I highlight the sin that is revelaed in through Scripture relating to our subject. It is between you, the Word and His Spirit at this point. Reread and ponder the meaning of 1 Th. 4:3.
There is nothing more for me to say in this thread, but to leave it between you and God.
LT
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Comment by Barbara on February 2, 2009 at 9:15pm
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All these acts of wickedness you are addressing ,are not the same as a loving, relationship. LOVING not self pleasure as these passages state.
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COL 3:5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
1TH 4:3 It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;
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God created the flesh and knows the power of our desires. The battle they face is that they burn with passion. Some can live a full life and never marry as Paul did. Others cannot. If they cannot contain themselves then the option is marriage, not sex outside of marriage.
LT
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how would he know they could not contain their desires if they were not already having sex together, becuase if they were not having sex their would be no reason for Paul to mention this at all.
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why would he put it " if they cannot contain" why didnt he say they must contain then marry asap?
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1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Paul now gives advice to those who are single, whom he classifies as the unmarried and the widows. It is good or advisable for them to remain in their single state for the reasons spelled out in vv. 26, 32-35. However, in another situation Paul counsels the younger widows to marry (1Ti 5:14). He then adds a postscript. If the situation is such that these persons cannot control their sexual desires, they should marry. It is, after all, better to get married than be inflamed with sexual desire, which is hard to control outside of marriage. (NIVBC)
Your assumption is that this verse gives acceptance to act on the burning and in no way does it imply that. The release is marriage. It also is not talking about a couple, but to single and widowed ladies.
LT
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1 Corinthians 7
9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Where here does it say they must contain?
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Please understand that I am not your enemy or against you. I wish to take this to a logical conclusion based on god's Word.
I pose three questions.
1) Are you married or just living as two people would if they were married?
2) Is sex outside of marrige sin?
3) Is sex outside of marriage ever not sin?
LT
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Your comment has been taken into account, however ,I take care of my home and partner as a wife should and my children. Why then would you call a Carpenter a Plumber?
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