Cleaning out old animosity

I hope all sufferers of any description that may plague us had moments of spiritual realization or are still hopeful to accept that the Lord is with you.

This is a bit of a lame post in regards to all serious problems experienced by so many.

I had a choice to remain lonely, to be without friends, to be the self suffering feeling sorry for myself type of individual, to remain apart OR do something that God would say should be a necessary step in self reformation and to follow his commandment of one should honor his parents.

It took me a while to decide since my will has enough strength to question the ways of the Lord at turning points. I waited battling my own self whether to go to a family dinner for a Christmas meal. I have been fighting for years with a father that is about as stubborn as ever invented.

Make a long story short, I decided that it was as the Gospel instructs time to put a stop at this time and go beyond sinful pride and try and do what is right in Gods teaching. I have never been known to ask anyone for much help in the ways of the lord.

Before the meal I asked if anyone would say grace. There was a sort of quiet chuckle with younger family members and everyone eager to just dig in.

It was then I said i would say grace. So i did, thanked god for the company, the food and made a statement about asking god to remove all animosity from this family. Perhaps it subdued the normal bravado but I thought since we ranged from the young to the old and what if this meal was perhaps the last for someone present with the family. Perhaps a twinge of thankfulness to God may have reached another member. I may not be the first or last, but I felt it time to give thanks for what we may have, what has been provided and our mutual company is valuable and that selfishly I wanted to honor Gods commandment of honor thy parents, before someone passed away.

Although nothing has been resolved in the separation department and no word has ever been recieved, I think since nothing can be done there yet, that anything else we can do otherwise in our lives with God as our guide, should be looked after.