I’m here to learn what my purpose is from god and a closer walk with him.
Reading, family, right now depressed, and sit in room, cry all the time.(6ty
I'm passionate about...
Not really anything..
My story with God
Saved when I was 11, then did crazy things, left home at 15 got married just to get away from home,he was in army nearly same life I had. Married in 1961. Had first child in 1963. He got out of army he ran aroun drinked made me feel I was nothing. Had second child in 1966 started going back to church andredecated my life was very happy with my kids and god and church husband still the same separated for 3months but had no one but my self went back to him. Had son in 72 and another one in 77 my husban was like a father I was happy just kids god and me.after they growled up he got his mothers place wanted me to live in my house and him live in other house didn’t work out , tried to go live with him but he didn’t want me there went back home to my house with my 13 year old after 3 years him treating me like I was just there for him to have sex with. Y son and I moved to another town so he wouldn’t bother us, my son stiyhad lots of problems, so at 16 he died visiting his dad. Married after 3years to a pretty good man he loved me and I loved him but my daughter became bipolar and got married for 4th time was 38. Got pregnate, daddy left when baby was4 months last time we saw him she was two my daughter got worse so my husband and I agreed I would stay with her and take care of baby.we stayed married for 18years then he got sick, but befor that I had cancer had to have left breast took ofoff, he made me feel as if something was wrong with me, so we just stayed together but we still loved each other and I started back to church decided to have reconstruct on breast then they found cancer agin had to do a lu pectoral and during this time he got sick with cold and I face a and had afib and had to have a defiblater came home we were doing good but then he got a staff infection had to go to hospital and died on 5th day broke my heart. I tried to keep our trailer but was to high for me and I couldn’t keep it up and I was by myself there away from my girls. After he was dead right at 3years I married a man I hardly knew and after 6months we divorced. Then my daughter helped me sell my place all the money went for house and bills so I ended up living here with her, then my other daughter left another man she had married and her and her daughter came to live here to, we all live with my oldest daughter and her husband of course I pay her and my daughter does to and I have tried to go to different churches and I just feel I don’t fit in I pray I read my Bible I don’t know what is wrong I did meet a man who had cancer and we were real close but not I tame them just friends and I had my sister Y best friend and they both got sick close to the same time. I was trying to help both of them. But my fried died on April 5 of this year and then my sisrwprer died in May and it was like my world had ended and I do go to church sometime but I don’t fit in so I mostly just go through the motions of living wanting god to let me be with him I am so unhappy and I don’t see much of a future I just sat in my room. My daughter has found me a phycrist and counseled to start going to this month. I cry all the timer I pray and talk to god but I get more out of Charles Stanley on tv so I listen to him and gospel music.i am in grief dep and feel so lost but I love my god and I know Jesus loves me but I just don’t understand all this and what to do I just want him to help me.so I guess I am angry with god for all that’s happened and I cannot deal with all this but I still pray. Eli eve and look for things to read about god I am looking for his help and I don’t k ow what I an doing wrong can you help me?ii think I’ve told you ever thing I mean I’m sure I left some things out .
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