All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Share your testimony with your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Latest Activity: Feb 3, 2016
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Jesus Christ saved me in 1996 and I have been in and out of His Will since. I’ve walked around for 17 years a defeated Christian. I’ve dealt with severe depression and suicide. Just a few months ago I was in the mental hospital and in bad shape. I’ve dealt with depression my entire life and attempted suicide the first time when I was 16.
I was at an all time low. Nothing was giving me any kind of peace or joy. I usually could find something….bowling, darts, computer, friends, family…etc. But NOTHING was good. I didn’t want to stand up, I didn’t want to sit down, I didn’t want to sleep, I didn’t want to be awake. I was in constant pain (mentally).
A lot has happened in my past and even after I gave my life to Jesus, I still looked back. Luke 9:62 But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” I wasn’t able to truly live in the freedom that Jesus died for and wants for us!!
On April 22, 2013 I reached my breaking point. I had felt God’s arms wrapped around me before and I needed that so bad. I had gotten to the point that I even went to my mom and told her about my fear that God had turned me over to a reprobate mind. I thought I was so far gone that even God had turned His back on me. The fear of going to hell if I committed suicide was something that had kept me from it many times. But I was thinking if I was going to hell no matter what I did and God had turned His back on me, that I may as well end it.
I called the crisis hotline for the veterans and God put me in touch with Curt. Praise the Lord, Curt was a Christian! After an hour long conversation and me begging God to feel His arms again, I hung up the phone. All the sudden, I felt God’s arms around me! Stronger than anything I’ve ever felt in my life! Then I was FILLED with the Holy Spirit! I was outside shouting to the top of my lungs! I wanted to be on top of the tallest mountain screaming His praises!!!
I started looking back………and guess what? I WAS FREE!!!! I could see NO bad in my past! He broke my chains of bondage!!! Psalm 107:14 He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains. All those I had held things against…I held nothing against anymore! The people who hurt me, the people I hurt….it was all gone!!!! I was completely free!
He healed me of my depression and He is now #1 in my life! I had put so many people and things higher than Him and we can’t experience TRUE freedom, TRUE joy unless He is FIRST in our lives!! He had to bring me to where I had NOTHING to give me everything He’s been waiting to give me! John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. I was condemned, not free. But by His mercy and grace, He set me free!
I had been away from the Lord for many years. I knew something was missing. I was watching a Gaither video when a song came on that talked about "throwing in the towel a time or two and walk away from everything I know..but I cant fill this emptiness inside of me or calm the trouble waters of my mind. so if your really out there and listening prove to me that tose who seek will find......." Those words changed my life! I am now a deovout christian and have a wonderful relationship with Jesus..one I never dreamed of!
I am not sure which class I was studying at that time probably I was 10 or 11 years old.There were lots of financial problems in my family.We started wandering away from God that is me, my brother and mother by leaving God the first place.The family debt started to increase.One day some one invited us for a prayer meeting.Me and my brother went first and my mother was to come late and join.The prayer started.The preacher closed his eyes and started praying.As soon as my mother entered the preacher who is already closing his eyes started telling "There is a sister here, she is surrounded by demon who are trying to take her life but a cross is coming to save her".Then he proceeded to tell the exact place in my house where my mother has hidden 30 sleeping pills.My mom burst with tears and that was the day me,my brother and mother were born again.Thank you God for saving our lives
This is one of the incidents I keep reminding myself. I was working in a hardware institute. At that time my pay was little less than that of the office boy in that company. I was handling three plus profiles which includes Faculty, Lab Technician and stock maintenance guy. One day I found some books were missing and I reported that to the technical manager at that time. But people felt I do not know how to take stock count. Later after a few days I found some books were added to the existing stock. I refused to issue any book to the students since me and the office boy were counting this time, I knew for sure the mistake was not from my side. I had my doubts on few people especially the accountant who also had access to the stock room. She was working there for more than 3 years before I join. I tried to explain people that something wrong is happening. But everyone including my brother and cousin felt I am not good in maintaining stock.
At last my senior manager called me and informed that a sum of Rs 300 would be cut off from my pay if the two books lost were not found. At that time family was under a debt of more than a Lakh rupee. It’s the matter of money alone but my honesty was also questioned.
I went into the library which was a small room in that office and I sat down and cried to God. Sooner I was taken out of stock maintenance. Since I was good in terms of sending reports, I was assigned another responsibility called Exam Coordinator. After six months the guy who was appointed in my place for stock maintaining got similar situations. So the new management looked into it and found that the accountant has stolen Rs 3,00,000 from the stock. Praise God at last my brother, cousin and all other employees came to know I was honest in my work. And before the same people who tried to pull me down God lifted me up. Praise God !!!
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