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my story is that im 37 i have a great wife and great kids but still feel alone inside at times even scared
i know i need to have god more in my life, i try and read the bible faithfully. i just feel like the door will not open for me or im just afraid to walk in not sure which one.I know he is their for me it just seems like i dont understand whats going on.I hate being unhappy i dont know if i have ever been truly happy or ever will be and that is sad. for me to feel like this is not fair to my family they should have some one who is happy.I get so down on myself when i fail at things or when things dont go right I know god is the only perfect one so i dont know why i continue tocome down myself so hard.I hate that i smoke cigeretts i feel im letting my god and my family down.Im going to continue to search for god but i just grow tired of continueing to have to fight every day just to wake up and start the day.
anybody feel the same way or any ideas on helping me fell free to post

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you say you have a family that is great. This is something that i once thought about since i dont have chilldren of my own if it is that you mean your wife and children when you say family.I thought about having a wife and children and then wonderd what i would do if i realy truly did and it came to me that even if i feal depressed down gloomy etc i would want them to be happy. I then thought that even though my pain is about me there joy can be about me as well why cant i just go and be with them and understand that they are and that they are gods creation and that that is something of great joy to experience and that i could live in the joy of there exsistance in my life and let there joy become my joy and then one day our joy.this reveals to me god truly does cherish fellowship and it is an awsome gift. Lokk at your family and wonder and live for them and you.
Thank you everybody i have received some very good words of wisdom. My mood is much better today i really enjoy this web site some times i just need to vent i know that sounds selfish but it really helps.also the little stories and bible readings people have sent me really helps THANK YOU VERY MUCH.i hope to meet more of you on this site.
Dear Stephen, it was interesting to read your mail as I have exactly the same feelings and its all a bit of a mystery as to why. Waking each morning and feeling so down. My wife tells me its jusy me and that its time I pulled myself togther. Not easy, like you I guess we all would if it were that simple. Having found God recently though I feel a light at the end of the tunnel and pray that you might find the same. In many ways I feel that had I not fallen into this depression I would not have woken up to God and having done so now I feel I have the greatest friend you can imagine and feel sorry for anyone not having him in their lives.
I wish you all the best and will add you to my prayers daily.
Very best wishes
Neil
Hi Stephen,
I have submitted your name and your post to a prayer group that I have known and been in contact with for a long time, if you don't mind? They will be praying for you, and I will be believeing with you for a breakthruough. If you wake up soon, and a much better mood, just give thanks to God, and continue daily, to the best of your ability. I believe you will soon see a change for the better.

Many blessings... in Christ.

Gayla S.
Wise words again Donna
Remember there is a time where we will all be Ex Depressants now thats cool
Praise the Lord
Hey Stephen, I feel the same way...hopeless. I do know it is not a sin to be depressed and God loves us unconditional and always will. He can carry our burdens if we give them to Him and will act on His timeline and not ours. I think my big problem is I cannot forgive myself but God loves us just the same. Think of the future being with God. I will pray for you and I need you to pray for me as well. God bless.
I think feeling lonely is a big part of depression, but sometimes it also comes with being a Christian. Instead of solving my loneliness by going to bars and dance clubs, with people I didn't feel comfortable with I decided one day just to stay home and let the feelings attack me. If they didn't KILL me then, I win and they would never master me again. If I died from grief and loneliness then, I would see Jesus, in spirit and feel friendship, family and love as I never would have dreamed of. So facing up to the problems, emotions or feelings in this case can be a Win Win solution.

What happened? I cried and I thought I'd have a nervous breakdown. Then I said,

"Is that it? Is that all their is to being alone (Without the TV on)? Big deal. Hey Jesus do you want to hang out with me? Let's talk. I'll talk and you listen and then I'll listen and see if any comforting, wise or Biblical thoughts come into my head and that will be you. Ok? Tomorrow we can take a walk and I'll quote scriptures and sing songs and pray and tell you my problems and I know that you are already planning the solutions for me. Thank you. The angels are here and God Himself, but because I don't see it I don't believe it, but that is silly. Either I'm a Chrisitian who believes by faith or I'm not. I am a child of the King."

And I was never lonely again??? No, I was, but now I know I'm lonely for God. You see, a wife, a son or a daughter, a parent, a friend, a TV program can't fill the void in our souls, only God can. Lonley? God is asking for some of your time and you will both benefit from it.

Cigarettes give you energy. They give you an excuse not to talk, just to watch and be cool. Sometimes you and your wife will need to retreat in the closet of prayer--seperately and together as a family. Set up twenty minutes in the morning of seperate prayer and meditation time mornings and evenings. Remember your wife isn't God and neither are you and neither one of you will be complete with out Him. Maybe God will take away your desire for cigarettes. God will take away the feeling that your emotional life should be better when you find your best friendship in Him. Journal, write God letters, set the alarm clock for God and you time. Blessings!
I experience some of the same feelings and struggles that you mentioned and I have been a Christian for 39 years. In 2002 I started taking meds because my depression stems from a medical condition. Perhaps you might want to consider meds but realize that they are not a cure-all but just simply help to even the playing field. I also receive thera;py from a therapist and from my pastor.
To Save A Life Movie shows how Christians on school campuses have to befriend the weird, unloveable loners as well as the "normal".
Many churches have Marriage Encounters, Men's Groups/Retreats, Missions, Evangelism, etc. Stephen, you have to get involved in these groups & find someone else that's worse off than you & comfort them.
You're upset about smoking? I knew some great Christians that smoked and died young from it, but they enjoyed their walk with Jesus and his followers. They died loving their family's & God, not sorrowful about an early death.
Why look at the negatives in your life, they are a guarantee to bring you down? You're "accusing" yourself, but that's the Devil's job not yours. Your job is to say, "Get behind me Satan, I'm saved because Jesus proved himself sinless & faultless. God will never abandon me."
I hope it helps. Jesus is more than enough, but we often forget that truth.
www.ToSaveALifeMovie.com (Christian Young Adult)

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