I feel lost my friends, my anxiety which I though was being lifted off of me, has gone nowhere. I don't know what to think or feel anymore regarding my faith. I still love God, but I am seriously suffering. I keep trying to understand his will for me at this time, but have not succeeded. I don't really know what to do and what to even pray for anymore. I understand some reasons for my anxiety, but I am having a very difficult time viewing myself from this lens. If I look back to the past, I feel scared and I do not want to face the pain..
I have to ask God why have you left me? I just do not feel his presence anymore and wonder will I ever again? I feel down that I backslid many months ago and have come to the conclusion that this must be punishment. I know this may sound dramatic, but I am so confused. I hear songs of how much he loves us and people say the same thing, but what good is knowing that if you cannot "feel" it. If there were any a time that I need to feel his presence it would be now....:-(
Sorry for the downer post but I am just trying to figure this all out and wondered if anyone here has experienced the same thing.