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Hi everyone!

 

We were having a discussion at work a day or two ago about pre-marital sex.  We all agree that it is wrong, but what do do after you have sinned?  One group said that if you were having pre-marital sex all you had to do is ask for forgiveness and sin no more. 

 

The other group said that those two persons should get married (Deut 22:28), and that they are now one in flesh.

 

Both groups motivated their points out of the Bible. Personally I feel that they should get married.  What do you think?

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They should repent if they are born again Christians caught up in habitual sin and they should seek God's face about how they proceed. God may tell them to let the relationship go or to make it holy.

Personally I think there is much wisdom in separating for a time until God instructs them. If someone reading this is caught up in such a sin and does not feel conviction over their sin, they should ask God for conviction and/or examine if they are in the faith at all.

 

Blessings

I agree with brother David Velasquez. The should ask God for direction.

He is what my pastor counsels for people who want to get married, who are having pre-marital sex.

Seperate for 6 months, and seek God.

He also said, If your a virgin, praise God, and if your not, you can be one, from this day forward.

Rahab is a good exaple, she was a prostitute, but she had faith in God, and later, a man named Solman married her. what a beautiful look at god's forgiveness!

Matthew 1:5 NIRV

Salmon was the father of Boaz. Rahab was Boaz's mother. Boaz was the father of Obed. Ruth was Obed's mother. Obed was the father of Jesse.
There was an occasion in the Bible where a woman was caught in the act of adultery and she was going to be stoned. After Christ dispersed the crowd of persecutors with His words, He told her to go and sin no more. I don't think a person should throw away the rest of their life for a moment of indiscretion. If one is forced to marry, and that person is wrong for them, they will, through marriage to the other party, be making a bad situation worse.

There is a lot of good advice here. I agree with those who say to stop the sin, break up or separate & pray for guidance. Some Christians feel so guilty that they had sex outside of marriage that they get married.  They don't know what God wants or what would be the best thing to do. They often take one mistake/sin & multiply it into many. Sometimes we need to cut our loses. Now, if a child will be born, that is really a stressful time & it may also requires a separation, but definitely counseling & prayer. Good luck to everyone in this predicament. When you sin you create punishment for yourself, so keep repenting & finding the true path God has for you. Take your punishments like a man or lady, but don't try to add more punishments on yourself, your partner or the baby, because of your guilt. Jesus took our guilt on the cross....

Hey Adriana.

I am very guilty of Pre-Marital sex. I lost my virginity during my sophomore year in high school. All for the wrong reasons. After that, I went into a wild phase I guess you could call it. I just kept doing it. I ended up getting engaged at 17. Which of course that didn't last. I moved about 70 miles away and we grew apart. About 6 months after we split up I met my now boyfriend. We have been together ever since. We have had pre-marital sex. Its been said many times by my boyfriend that even if we didn't have sex, we would still be together. There was a point of our relationship that we didn't do anything sexual at all. During this time I wondered what my purpose is in life and turned to God. I have always believed in God, don't get me wrong. Not long after we fell back into that sin. There are times that when we have sex that I don't want to and still do it, but I feel bad about it afterwards. I haven't told my boyfriend this. I guess I kind of feel like if I did tell him, that on one hand he would be ok with it but on the other, he may not and may start thinking things. I have never felt this way about anyone. Even being 17 and engaged to someone, I thought I loved him and I guess you could say that I did, but the feelings were not this strong. Everything is different now. I know it may not seem like things are different after reading all this since we have had sex, but I've gotten to where I don't think about it much the last few months.

Morgan,

 

It sounds like you are a born again believer, but I don't like to assume anything, so by you saying, you turn to God, you mean there came a time when you repented of your sins and God became your Lord and Savior? Is that what you mean or what do you mean?

  1. Start by acknowledging that all sexual relations outside of marriage between one man and one woman, including premarital sex, are sinful.  There are no ifs,  ands  or buts  here.  As God's Word instructs, avoid all sexual immorality.  The Holy Scriptures are clear that "fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rev. 21:8).
  2. Next, are you truly repentant?  If so, confess your sins and God will forgive you.  1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
  3. Stop the sexual sinning.  In John 8 we read about the Pharisees bringing a woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus.  He didn't condemn her.  He forgave her.  As Jesus sent her away he told her, "Go now and leave your life of sin."  This is what Jesus says to you and me.  After you repent of your sexual sins, don't commit them in the future.
  4. Do as you're instructed by Romans 12:1: "In view of God's mercy, offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, which is your spiritual worship." 

Gregory,

Good word.

Lord Bless,

LT

Gregory,

The article from gotquestions.org really explains it well when talking about the sticky note and yet I realize it's only talking about consensual relationships. The same is true however in the case of incest, rape, sexual abuse, and sexual assault. No one really seems to understand how damaging it is. I believe that many people who are sexually promiscuous as adults (practice casual sex) are actually already unable to form a lasting relationship because of childhood incest and sexual abuse. Some of them no longer want to even be touched. It's important for all people who are hurting to remember the forgiveness of God, too, and those who are having casual sex or committing any type of sinning, for whatever the reason, are hurting and need restoration, as the article goes on to explain. They need hope.

But I wasn't aware of what the articles said until you posted them. Thus I was only commenting to you about what spoke to me in one of them and how it makes sense. IOW commenting to you for bringing them to attention, confirming what you said, and also letting you know my thoughts about one of them. Thank you for sharing your insight. So I was agreeing with you as well as highlighting a really good point made in one of the articles and then sharing some of my own insight as well. I wanted to emphasize hope. I apologize for making the comment.

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