Marriage problem

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by AAG Netguy on August 2, 2010 at 3:47pm

Hello Maria,

Thank you for being so honest about your situation and for asking for advice from the brothers and sisters here.

Unfortunately, this is quite a common issue and it has often discussed here. I recommend that you click on the FORUM tab and do a search on our topics using these words, one at a time:

infidelity
adultery
affair
cheated

You may also want to visit http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/forgiving-infidelity.htm and http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/married-and-cheating-faq.htm for more information.

Even though this website has no connection to nor endorsement by AllAboutGOD Ministries, it may contain some helpful articles as well: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html

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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on August 2, 2010 at 4:57pm

Maria,

Ask the Pastor of the church you are now attending for counseling and mention it to your hubby. Pray God works in his heart to agree to join you in counseling.

Blessings.

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Permalink Reply by Maria Pitre on August 5, 2010 at 8:44am

yes i did this before i came close to god....even though i always beleived in god and said or at least tried to say my prayers at night.

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Permalink Reply by Maria Pitre on August 5, 2010 at 8:23pm

No he is not a christian he does believe that there is a god...

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Permalink Reply by crajfort on September 10, 2010 at 2:02pm

Maria,
My husband had an affair for many months after the birth of our third son. It hurt, it still hurts 17 months later. We have worked through the affair and have both given our lives to God which has made a wonderful difference in our marriage.
The pain takes a long time to go away. I pray every day that I will hurt just a little less and I do.
Your husband will love you and will be able to forgive you. It takes time. Be patient. He will get mad and say things that will hurt you and he is just lashing out because of the pain. Let him. Dont get mad at him. Let him know each and every day just how much you love him. Dont mention the affair unless he asks and then dont divulge any information that may hurt him. The last thing he needs is to ever think that the other man is on your mind for any reason.
Praise your husband for the little things, let him know that you respect him and honor him.
The trust will come back, that too takes a long time. Every little thing that you do, he will question, whether its meeting someone for coffee or taking a phone call in the other room.
Getting past an affair is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.
I will let you know, from of course personal experience, that it destroys a person. Everything that you believed in is gone. It is horrible. But, all can be good again.
Because my husband and I decided to work through it and both of us became Christians, once we accepted God into our lives it opened up a love that I didn't think was possible. The ability to love and accept love unconditionally, its amazing.
I will pray for you and your husband that you can get through this time, you have a long road ahead of you. Just love each other with everypart of your being.
Good luck to you Maria, I hope it all works out.

Rachell

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Permalink Reply by Robert Smyth on September 11, 2010 at 2:36pm

Hi Rachell,

your words are very wise God has the power to change very situation, we just need to repent, and ask his forgiveness. You and your husband because of your faith have came through this, your love for your husband and the grace of God has clensed your problems, it takes faith and love to move forward.

Marie you are in my prayers along with your husband, if he truly loves you and sees both the hurt you feel for hurting his love and also the repentance you have and the love you still have for him, he will love you again. I pray God will touch his heart, he will forgive you and seek your love again. People hurt so much sometimes and without knowing Gods love they go on hurting, the devil has a way of distroying love. Time is a great healer, give your husband time, pray for guidence and the problems in your relationship will resolve.

May God bless your day.

Robert

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Permalink Reply by Maria Pitre on September 11, 2010 at 6:44pm

Thank you so much for your kind words.

And may God bless your day.

Maria

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Permalink Reply by Krista Lynds on July 11, 2013 at 3:03pm

You are in my prayers.  Let me share a story with you.  I had a very good friend of mine who's husband cheated on her.  They went through alot of emotions.  He even sat on their bed together and told her that he was in love with the other woman.  She came to me and asked me if she should leave him.  I am not one to tell anyone to ever leave their spouse, I feel you should always work on things because no marriage is perfect.  I did tell her did you get married to get divorced?  Do you love your husband then swallow your pride and fight for him.  She did.  It wasn't easy.  She did a book and they went to church eery sunday where she would go to hold his hand and he would always push it away.  She kept doing this and one day he didn't push her hand away.  They have never been happier or more in love.  He is hurt pray for his hurt to go away.  Send him texts saying your thinking of him but you have to work on it together not apart!!

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