All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others
Blunt question about SEX...
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Leonard T on
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Kayla,
The question is really not about sex, but obedience. You recognize what God expects and are stating that you may desire to choose your will over His. Would you expect anyone to bless you if you disobey? Would you expect anyone to ignore disobedience? Why would we expect God to bless us or ignore our actions if we choose to live in disobeience? If you truly want a godly marriage then I recommend you start it off based on godly principles.
Lord Bless,
LT
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Permalink Reply by David Velasquez on
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Beloved excellent questions you bring up.
If you are looking for a good man who loves God but not really mature in his ways or out of his will at the current time then you should have no problem finding those in such state and willing to join you in your conviction.
However if you want a mature man in Christ, one who will lead you to God and be a Spiritual leader than you should ask God to help you find joy and contentment in all stages of your life without the need to give yourself. As a man after God's will for my life, I can share the following with you: I do not want anyone in my life who would allow me to have sex with them before marriage, because that would tell me they have not tasted the freedom/joy we can have and walk in even when we are not enjoying some of the joys of living we can partake of. Personally I want the woman I marry to love God more than she loves me, so she is after pleasing Him first and foremost. Only then can she and can we love someone else right. She has to find her joy in the Lord and not me. Though of course I will do all in my power to make her feel blessed.
As a Christian man who has fallen into sexual sin in the past with a very beautiful young lady (about 11 years ago) I tell you that is a horrible state to be in. After a year of being faithful and saving for a home and the wedding we felled into sexual sin, I immediately approach my pastor and resigned from all my ministry responsibilities, the Spirit of God would not allow me to teach and preach in such a state, the conviction was real and very strong. The sin of fornication destroyed the relationship I had with the sister, we were not able to rebound from it. I had asked her not to allow me to touch her etc… so I felt she kind of let me down cause as a guy I was doing my part, but she felt I let her down for placing her in a difficult (tempting) situation. We both knew we were both to blame, but… She was in leadership in the ministry as well. The sexual sin I had fallen into ended up being the spark that landed me back in the vomit God had saved me from, there were numerous other things that pile up, but sexual sin was indeed the spark.
When I date Christian woman today (blind date etc...) and they invite me into their bed, whether it is on the first date or 6 months after dating, it is heart breaking, especially after making my stance extremely clear, because I let go of the relationship then. I am EXTREMELY JOYFUL AND FULLFILL WITHOUT SEX IN MY LIFE. I want a wife and I Love the thought of intimacy in the marriage covenant, so I am not against sex in any way and look forward to a healthy relationship in that department, but only within marriage.
God can fulfill you in every area of your life beloved. Let the word of God change your desires and convictions. As you delight in His ways and word, He will give you the desires of your heart.
Agree with LT - the question comes down to obedience. God will not bless disobediance and will allow you to make a mess of your life, so you can learn that the payment of sin is death. God is not trying to keep us from having fun but trying to protect us beloved. When i discover that a person is not the right one for me and we have not had intimicy the walking away remains hard but not as difficult as when you share your bed with them. There is much more to this but i said enough for now.
I love you as my sister and friend, so i must speak the truth to you beloved and thank you for the opportunity you grant us to speak truth into your life. God bless you beautiful.
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Permalink Reply by Kayla on
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Yeah, well I know it's wrong. I don't know why I asked haha. It's like telling your parents you are going to disobey them and get into some trouble, but you expect them to bail you out...Hopefully I find someone who will wait and we can both use each other for support when one or the other is weak. And hopefully if I do ever find a "good man," he'll be enough inspiration to wait.
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Sis -
>>I do not want anyone in my life who would allow me to have sex with them before marriage, because that would tell me they have not tasted the freedom/joy we can have and walk in even when we are not enjoying some of the joys of living we can partake of.
I made a mistake on the statement above. Mature Christians can fall into sexual sin if they stop abiding in Christ. Even when we have tasted the goodness of our Lord we can choose to sin at times.
>>I don't know why I asked ha-ha
You are a courageous beautiful young lady my Sister. Take God for His word and you will see His glory. Give yourself a chance to taste and see that He is good in this area. There remain men on this earth who love God and will not bow to the world's system beloved. Wait and see the hand of God in this area my friend. God will bail you out each time my sister but you do not want the consequences of blowing it in this area or any other.
>>Hopefully I find someone who will wait and we can both use each other for support when one or the other is weak.
There is a young courageous man out there waiting just for you. :) This is very beautiful sis. God should be your inspiration to wait, but I do hope God gives you a man that will also edify you and inspire you.
You are doing great girl. God has seen all you wrote and He knew you even before He dressed the universe with splendor - for you.
Love and blessings to you Kayla - YOu Rock.
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Permalink Reply by RoyW on
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Kayla,
You made the statement that you are conservative with morals. I'm curious about your definition of morality. I think your stated intentions completely contradict your morals. You say you know you should wait which indicates your morals come from Scripture but then you say you are going to ignore your morals and have sex before marriage anyway. Your statements contradict each other. You should obey your morals and wait.
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I guess by saying that I have morals, I meant that I do not sleep around and when I'm in a relationship, I wait for awhile. I take sex very personal. I don't view it or use it like most people my age and younger do.
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We are all sinful. There is no one good in ourselves. If I claimed to be without sin, I would be lying. There is no shame in weakness. The importance is acknowledging our sin before God. God has not changed His mind on sex before marriage. We live in a very licentious nation. To many or even most, commitment with sex has become acceptable. The words for these acts in the Bible are fornication or adultery. It is not shameful to have fallen to this sin but I am concerned about your planning to do so. We all sin. We sin because we are weak. The believer, however, desires not to sin. The believer seeks to overcome his/her sin. Your posts sound to me as if you are a believer but seeking to justify what you know to be wrong simply because everyone is doing it. I pray that what you know to be right will become the guiding principle in your life. Your initial posts indicate you have had proper training in His Word. I am praying that is what will win. Even if you fail, always acknowledge Him and His Word as true. We will all fail but He will never fail us.
Blessings,
Your brother
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Thank you and I am going to try to wait. I'm just afraid if it happens, I'll be punished. I'm going to be straightforward with the next guy that I want to wait. Make sure he is on board with that.
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God will be with you, give you strength, and give you His loving forgiveness if you fail. No one will ever love you like He does. The only punishment He will ever give you is out of His great love. His destination for your life is in His eternal arms. He will never leave you or ever let you go.
Brother Roy
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Well said Roy, blessings beloved.
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Question: "What does the Bible say about sex before marriage / premarital sex?"
Answer: There is no Hebrew or Greek word used in the Bible that precisely refers to sex before marriage. The Bible undeniably condemns adultery and sexual immorality, but is sex before marriage considered sexually immoral? According to 1 Corinthians 7:2, “yes” is the clear answer: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” In this verse, Paul states that marriage is the “cure” for sexual immorality. First Corinthians 7:2 is essentially saying that, because people cannot control themselves and so many are having immoral sex outside of marriage, people should get married. Then they can fulfill their passions in a moral way.
Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex before marriage in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as being sinful also condemn sex before marriage as sinful. Sex before marriage is included in the biblical definition of sexual immorality. There are numerous Scriptures that declare sex before marriage to be a sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4).
Far too often we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage is doubly wrong—they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are taking a chance of creating a human life outside of the family structure God intended for every child.
While practicality does not determine right from wrong, if the Bible's message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.
http://www.gotquestions.org/sex-before-marriage.html
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