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I am married for 5 years and my husband just told me the first week of January that he loved me to death as the mother of his kids but not in love with me. I felt like a knife just ripped through my heart. We had so much going on when we got married that I do acknowledge that we forgot about ourselves. I was already pregnant when we got married (we planned the baby before the marriage) then a year after that we had anotehr baby, bought a home, finances, husband bad luck with jobs, got laid off twice in one year to busy with kids we forgot about going out like a date night or things that we use to do before the kids were born. Husband and I rarely saw each other, I worked day time he workd night time. Now that he has been in this job for a year he feels that he is finally succeding and that his job is number 1, himself and the boys and I am not in the picture at all. We tried counseling but I stopped that I did not see that doing anything to us, I told my husband to move out, he did, his stuff still here but he does not sleep here. I ask god every day to please heal his heart and let him realize what he is doing to us, I am in so much pain that I decided to file for divorce he will be getting served next week. He wanted a legal separation but I rather just end it. If anyone has been going through what I am please pray for me and kids, so my husband can realize what he is doing, he is a different person, I feel like satan has taking over him. I know god is listening to me every day and I even feel his presence or when I am crying I know he is beside me. Thank you for your support.

Milena

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Milena,
I will keep you in my prayers! God Bless dear friend....
Hello Carla, I was wondering how you were doing. God Bless!!!
Milena
Firstly, I pray that God brings healing to your marriage. One of the hardest things to deal with in life is the possibility of losing a loved one. And something else i've noticed in life......We sometimes act according to the flesh even when we shouldn't.
Ive been guilty of this in the past, so I offer it up as food for thought: We are sometimes so hurt when a loved one wrongs us that we return the favor by trying to hurt them emotionally. We tell the other person things that we dont always mean becuase we know it will cause them pain in thier heart. Kind of like 'payback' for the pain they caused us. And this tends to escalate as the other person does the same thing back to us to cause us pain as well. Both people have such hurt and pride that neither one is willing to just break down and tell the other that they love them and don't ever want to lose them. Christians have the same emotions as non-believers, so this happens with christians too.
I might suggest that you search your true feelings and tell your husband that you love him more than anything, and want to work things out. He may be feeling the same way, but doesn't want to be the one to 'break-down' and apologize. I'm not trying to simplify the matter of course, so don't get me wrong. The two of you are going to have to really work together to change things for the better. And hopefully you husband will come to know God personally so that the Lord can guide your marriage.
Tell him you love him and want him to come home to you and the children, and that you want to try
and work things out. From what I hear you saying, this is what you desire.
And then it's up to him to make a decision. I hope God puts it in his heart to return and cherish your marriage and family. Let us know how things go Milena, and God bless.
Chris, I think that moment of giving up my pride is coming up real soon, I do want to tell my husband exactly what you wrote I just been waiting for the right moment when I see him, everytime he is here the kids are here plus he does not stay long when I get home he leaves and that is because of me. I been wanting to tell him that for about 2 weeks now but I am really afraid of REJECTION. I pray to god that if my husband answers me with a negative response then I will just give it all to god. He is in control. God Bless you Chris
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!. I finally spoke with my husband about me wanting him to come back home, he was really surprised about the whole conversation, I think he though I was going to talk about divorcing him. He seemed relax when I spoke and toldme that he was not stressed or tense, he usually gets like that when I speak to him. This time I was soft spoken and I meant everything I told him. I love him to death and he needs to come back to our home,he is my husband and father of our kids and we need to work it out, we need to start communicating and of course first thing is marriage counseling and he was ok with that. he told me that what is really stressing him is bills, he wants to be on top of that and I said that can be fixed. All he told me was to give him time to think about it, he was going to talk to his roomate about what was going on. He wanted a week for him to give me an answer, but I felt god's presence when I spoke to him, I was so nervous but I knew god would be helping me and he certainly did. I know god did the work for us that night and he has been working on my husband I know it. I feel that my husband will be back and I am happy but at the same time afraid. But I will not let fear get to me. Its all up to God's hands. Please keep us in your prayers Chris and thanks so much for everything. I will let you know how things go.

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