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"Looking for Angels" What all Sinners Search For....

Hey, my family in Lord Jesus, this is Moon Willow (or Cheyenne). Looking for Angels....for most of us, especially my generation only thinks of it as the song from Skillet. I believe it has meaning for all of us....As Christians, we are all also sinners, every human being is one....whether they are a child of God or not.

We all falter and feel guilty about it....that guilt can become worse and twist and morth into worry and doubt. When we become oppressed with this doubt, we are struggling and running in circles for answers and sometimes, our vision can become clouded from the truths God has given us. This is a piece of a chapter of a novel I hope to make, called Lost Child of Eden. It is a story in the point of view of many like us, children of God who feel like they have fallen from God's grace once they stumble. It describes my own fears and struggles as I am also going through the same journey that most Christians go through. It is a chronicle of the world versus God's divine kingdom, one's conflict of mind and soul, and of course, answers that I have come to learn (and still learning) to the most tear-wrentching questions of a life for Jesus Christ and God, and the growth in faith that all of us Christians must prepare us for the eternal love and beauty in the kingdom of Christ.

For those who are as confused as I feel, yet have not been able to find the answers or comfort, the time for that has begun.....

Her worn black and silver lined sneakers glided over the grayed pavement in a quick motion, and her gaze of light grayish-green flickered towards the crowds of people walk by her. She wandered through the city of icy and fiery skies, much like herself. The sun began to hide within the ocean mist, and the decorated, black steel street lamps let out their golden glow in the warm summer evening air, giving the tropical gardens and waterfall that lined all the sidewalks and the glassy, crystal buildings a lumious light that seemed mystical. The city did seem like a calm, even romantic place, but Dominque was uneasy at heart and mind.

She had left her companions, Ashwing and Issac, to find time to think, to find time to grasp some sort of assurence. Dominique yearned for something to reveal to her of where her heart truly was, if she could resist her continuous fear to even want to know. This battle that always tormented her inside, her thoughts and emotions enveloped by the mire of her constant worries, no longer can be described by her own mind. Others she had lived with in her life had told her of her over-reactting, and her high-strung anxieties. Maybe they were right. Yet, how can she still can not find the heart to believe them? Dominique continued the cycle that she was trapped in, she realized it, but only when she was not swept by guilt and panic. She could remember one of the previous conversations with Ashwing, just before she decided to have time away from him and the sleeping Issac.

“We have told you before,” Ashwing’s gruff voice snapped, his blackened lips revealed his long ivory canines as he carried the lazy boy upon his dim gray back, his cold blue eyes set on the smaller girl that walked by his side.
“There is nothing wrong with you! I can not see why you would think you were not strong enough for this. You are being foolish.” “You weren’t there, Ash,” Dominique replied, but her eyes kept from meeting his wolfish face. “I done something that I can’t stop thinking about.” “What have you done that I have not known about, I have guarded you since your birth.” Dominque could not completely tell the whole story, she had said little hints about it, those instances that would drive her to a point of tearful dispair, but she could not find the heart to explain it. She had even been afraid to tell the enigmatic Emperor of the North, the estranged being that is her father, at least it was what she was told to believe. How would she know he was listening, how is she to know that she was talking to Him, and not the greatest enemy? She had cried, strained her heart, and screamed the Emporer’s name mentally, over and over….to feel there was only one path her soul and words would go to, to her Good father. Even with that, how can she be sure of her heart and of her connection to her father, who she never truly met? Faith was the answer, but is seemed so uncertain to her, her path only a frightening night full of traps.

(To be Continued)

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