I had the same trouble up untill last night at about 10:30.
I also have things in my past that I had trouble letting go of. I knew I was forgiven but I guess I didn't believe it.
Last night my son put his car in the ditch missing a pole by two feet. We went to pull it out and as you can imagine I wasn't happy and I let my son know it. We pulled the car out and was getting back in the car to go home.
My son said, "dad". I turned around and he gave me the hug of a lifetime. He cried and was shaking from the experience. I told him I loved him and at that moment I forgave him. I didn't say it, but I felt it.
When we got home we made light of it and went to bed.
I was laying in bed and started to mull the accident over and my sons reaction. I thought of the things I had done in my past and suddenly I had this thought.
I wasn't sure if it was a thought or a feeling or a voice, but it was loud and clear. The voice said,"It is that easy". It was then that I knew God had used that oppertunity to tell me this,
If I as a mortal man can forgive my son, how much easier is it for God to forgive me.
I no sooner had that thought when I felt my burdens lifted.
I now know and believe my sins have been forgiven. I can look forward to moving closer to God without looking back and somehow feel I'm not worthy.
It has taken a long time for me to feel this way, but God answered my prayers. Keep praying and seeking God. I promise he will speek to you as well.
God is great. Greater than any of us. Thanks be to God, and thankyou God for not giving upon me.
Before I gave my life to christ, there are so many things that I did that am not proud off, that I am dealing with too. I pray to God every waking moment of my life for mercy and forgiveness. I have those guilt trips and flash back moments too. I felt like giving up too until I came across a about prayerlessness. Prayerlessness too is a sin (1 Samuel 12:23).
I pray for God's Grace for a prayerfull life and to keep and follow his laws but again you cannot achieve these without the power of the spirit something you need to pray for too. I also listen to various ministers most especially Benny Hinn and Joyce Meyer and read the bible and study some spiritual material/books (the books I get from Amazon)
Those guilt induced trips may be triggered by the devil so that you may stop praying, or to encourange you to repent to God and ask for forgiveness and mercy through prayer. Do not underestimate the power of prayer. Keep praying, read the scriptures that are related to your situation and pray them back to God. Whenever you have those flash backs quote the scriptures loudly the devil will leave you alone remember, he came to kill steal and destroy (John 10:10).
I will share with you this website I listen to everyday, Pastor Benny Hinns teachings that are life changing (http://www.bennyhinnnetwork.com/
I promise to pray for you today, but please pray for me too.
PS Am new at this site